tyler

So yesterday my folks were having some neighborhood people for drinks and appitizers. They asked me to pick up some stuff from the store, including some beer. I didn't really consider this a problem as I don't really have an "issue" with beer. When I drink, I want to get drunk, and as they say, liquer is quicker!!

I picked up the stuff and brought it home. Well, turns out I bought the wrong kind of beer. One of the neighbors was a big fan of Rolling Rock, and I bought St Paulies Girl. Heck I don't know, they both come in green bottles!! So I said I'd go and swap it out if they wanted me to. We decided not to do that as I bought it in a town about 15 miles away and it seemed silly to drive all the way back there to just swap out some beer.

Turns out there were a couple of other things they needed from the store, so my Dad said, "Why don't you just go into town (only a couple of miles away) and you can pick up the groceries and beer there. You can also stop at the ABC and pick up a bottle of brandy for me too." Bells lights go off!! I know that I should say that is not such a good idea, but I don't. I think about it all the way there, and when I get there pick up a bottle of rum (my drink of choice) for me as well.

Obviously that bottle is long gone, drank completely last night. It was over the course of about 8 hours, so I wan't totally hammered, but I definately know I drank last night. (Not feeling my best for sure)

I'm not going to beat myself up over this though. It happened and now it's over. I learned I definately can't trust myself in an ABC store, and as someone with a drinking problem, really have no business being in there anyway. It'd kinda be like a problem gambler hanging out at a casino, "for the atmosphere". Not a good idea.

So I move on. I take something from this experience as I try to from all experiences, both good and bad. I told my father that it's probably not the best idea to be sending me to the ABC and what I did. He apologized for putting me in the situation and said he wouldn't do it again. It's kinda hard for them to understand as my DOC has always been pot, with booze filling in as necessary. But in truth I think I have a bigger issue with alcohol than I've allowed myself to believe. Plus, alcohol is all over, while you pretty much have to go out of your way to find pot.

Anyway, though I'd share this with my Secular peeps. Thanks for listening guys. Take care.

jamdls

Well at least you recognize your problem and can pick yourself back up and dust yourself off and start again. I avoided even driving by the places where I bought wine for probably a year, I generally went out of my way to buy wine at different places because I did not want to be seen as a 'regular'... It still nearly 2 years later bothers me to have walk down the wine isle at the grocery store (chips are on the same isle) not because it makes me want it but because I swear I can smell the wine and it makes me nauseated.

stone

My DOC was pot from the age of 16 to 30, I smoked it pretty much all day everyday. I did other stuff too but pot was my every day thing. Towards the end of my smoking days I was drinking more and more and when I stopped pot, alcohol took over.....big time. So be careful.

gneiss

It's all about learning to deal with situations and what life throws at you, Tyler. You've done a good job. I need to follow in your footsteps: one bad night is a learning experience, not the end of the world. I have trouble letting myself off the hook, and it doesn't do me any good.

Well done!

tyler

That sounds like pretty much my situation. That's why I decided to quit drinking. I always said I could drink socially because my abusive drinking was more binge drinking. I could go have a couple of beers with friends, without the need to get hammered. But the problem was in my mind, I would find that if I allowed myself to drink socially, it would eventually lead me to thinking the occasional binge was ok too. Then that started turning into a few nights a week and almost an everyday thing. That's when I decided I needed to quit entirely. I lost sight of that yesterday.

Today I am sober and I will try to learn from this. I completely knew what I was doing and that it was the wrong choice for me, yet I still made that choice. I just need to be more vigilant. Before I took the first drink, I saw my computer sitting next to me, and I knew I could reach out to my friends here and they would help, but I chose not to do that. That is an area I really need to work on. I'm very bad about asking for help when I need it. I will try to work on that.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Thanks for the advice and encouragement. Next time I will try to reach out before I screw up instead of after.

digderidoo

Thanks Tyler, i have been complacent of late in putting myself into situations where people are drinking and it has effected me if i'm honest with myself. Your post makes me realise that i have to be on the guard.

Paul

1KitGer

I just had that experience 2 days ago. Because the people are so drunk, they want you to go, because they know or have an understanding that you dont drink. So being good people pleaser we go there, and then the cycle conti nues. If you want to talk further i would love to, im only 10 days sober, and i didnt do the same thing i always do at the grocery store, but i did give my hisband an ear full the next day when he was sober. 1KitGer