Horselover

I had to write this because I have taken time off from here for just a few days and have discovered that my outburst towards Stone was extremely uncalled for and unnecessary. I don't think it helped him. No, I know it didn't help him and I had to find out where it was coming from.

Its kind of like when you have a day from Hell and at the end a clerk says a tiny thing that might be off and you lose it with that clerk. The anger wasn't at the clerk and the clerk didn't deserve the brunt of that anger, but he/she was a convenient outlet.

Paul, you will get this recovery business. You have been trying and that is a fact. I know I can't be responsible for your recovery and lately, I have been having a harder time then I would like to admit with my own. I have to concentrate on my own recovery and remain diligent because its wavering frankly scares me.

Also SR members deserve an apology because frankly, if someone said to me what I had to Stoney, then I wouldn't have returned to SR. SR is not that kind of place. It was one person and that was me. SR is the reason I am sober today. It can be such a useful tool and the people here are quite amazing. Definitely owe a lot to this place and to many, many, many people here. I really believe the old members and the new members equally help me. I get the wisdom from the people who have been there and the big time needed reminder of how hard recovery is and how not worth it is to go back out there. Really need that reminder on a lot of days. Plus the newbies also hand out excellent advice as well.

Well that's it. Sorry if I was long winded, but needed to get if off my chest. Sorry to Paul and sorry to SR. Hugs to all - Sarah

coffeenut

Ah, honey! I think you are a huge asset to SR. HUGE.

If you said something out of line, you just showed what an Awesome person you are with your post.

Thank you for being here. I truly mean that.

suki44883

I so understand where you are coming from, horselover. I, too, have said things a bit more harshly than I should. I think many of us have. It's not that we don't care, or think our way is the only way, or that we are better than someone who may not "get it" as quickly as we did. It's that we have our own problems and sometimes, we read a post that just, for some unknown reason, send our beanie a spinnin' and we come back with something that we don't really even mean.

I'm sure Stoney understands this, but I think it was very kind of you to come back to apologize. Show's what you are made of. (((HUGS)))

least

You are my friend, and always will be. I don't recall any 'outburst' from you but it was good of you to apologize. Love you muchly!

:ghug3

Believe808

I'm so glad you decided to come back HL, I missed you. You have much to offer SR.

HideorSeek

Ditto to what everyone else said, Sarah. You have said many things, manyyyyyyyyyyyyy times that have helped me. We love you here!

Ananda

aw susan (hug) sorry you are having a dificult time at the moment. I have had times like that over the last 2 years.

What helped me was to talk about it...you know the truth is the worst thing i ever did i did with 2.5 years sober And i still have periods where I am amazed that I didn't drink....really considered it again.

Just cause some of us have time sober, doesn't mean we can't be human and let others see us in our not so "healthy" moments.

I try to share the good the bad and the ugly here....i hope that others will do the same, cause it helps me see them walk though the hard parts and gives me hope that i will be able to do the same....

(hug)

espresso

No idea what you said to stone, but thanks for the post
Hope you resolve your own stuff and that you're OK

Hevyn

I'm glad you're back, Sarah. I don't recall you ever being anything but empathetic in any of your posts. Very big of you to clear the air, however, by sharing what you've been going through. It would feel strange to log on here and not see a few Horsie posts. Talk to you later today.

FizzyWater

If you've been in my thread recently Horsie you'll see I'm not finding this sobriety mylarky a stroll in the park just now either.

Like you probably, I thought I was over it but I've been really wanting a drink all weekend amid other things going on just now.

For what its worth I don't think Stoney's gonna feel ill against you, thing is you don't know, maybe he needed to hear what you said, maybe he didn't, all that really matters is we're all still here and at present we're all still sober.

Things have a habit of working themselves out for the best.

Horselover

Really, really, really LOVE this place. Just got home from a 10 plus hour ride into Colorado and back again. My son was an angel for putting up with it and he had to say goodbye to 2 puppies that were dropped off to us on Friday. They were found running around in the road and my friend was afraid they would either get hit by a car or become a coyote's next meal. We were originally going to keep them and find homes for them, but it didn't work out as WE had planned. Ended up finding a no kill shelter and delivering them there. Praying really hard a cattle farmer gets them because their breed is heeler and boarder collie. They were also from the same litter and I hope they go as pair. I have such huge issues with letting go and letting God. I struggle with this one daily and this can lead to big drinking pangs, but then that is life I guess. If you believe please say a prayer that they find good homes with good people. Thanks all. Going to go collapse in bed.

By the way, I LOVE this place and the people and friends made and friends I have yet to meet. Hugs - Sarah

stone

Awww Sarah! I don't know what to say except this is very sweet of you, I accept your apology. I wasn't mad at you anyway.

You are one of the nicest people I know here.