firestorm090

Some days are just plain tough stuff, especially in the early days of not drinking. Today is day three, (for the umpteenth time.... arghh) and for a change, I don't want a drink tonight, but am struggling just to be happy in my own skin. It feels kinda like being stuck on a bridge on my way to a concert. The bar is behind me that I left three days ago and the concert, (where they don't serve drinks) is on the other side of the bridge. I can faintly hear the music from the concert, but the lure of the old gang still calls from behind me, coaxing me to turn around, yet the music is still drawing me to the other side. It's no-man's land, and I've been here before, but this time it feels a little different, because the music sounds so good, much better than the blaring tunes of the ole barroom jukebox, and I feel like I'm on a quest of sorts to find the symphony just on the other side of what feels like a ten-mile bridge. I'm gonna keep going straight, at least for tonight and maybe the music will be closer in the morning.

For all who are struggling tonight, I'm there with you, and hope you can hear the music too.

Sweets79

Been struggling all week.

firestorm090

HI sweets,

I'm with you, the early days are a struggle to find our bearings, and I find it helpful to be honest and forthcoming about the struggle we endure, it helps to know we aren't alone with this. I hope you are ok, it must be round 1am in New York, am I right? Hang in there, ok and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

waterfountain

Hang in there you two. It was a scorcher today, and when I stopped by the small jazz festival in town, the beer and wine were flowing freely - quite tempting on such a hot afternoon/evening. Steel your resolve; tomorrow is around the corner - a brand new day to add to your sober tally

I don't know if you've done it before FS, but it might help to have a physical tracker of your sober time. At first, I was just counting the hours. Now that I'm comfortable counting days, I've been toying with the idea of keeping track on my wall calendar. I think being able to pause and look at a symbol that I've made it such-and-such # of days will be great to have available any time I feel like I'm struggling.
Just a thought I had that seemed worth sharing.

Take care guys! Good luck with Sunday

firestorm090

Hi wf,

The physical tracker is a great idea. My first thought was to use my forehead, but I think a calendar is a better idea, lol. Right now, the fingers of one hand are enough, sigh.

stone

I am struggling too, I don't want to drink but I have been awake all night with my thoughts going out of proportion, going around in circles with stuff. I am sick of failing to get sober for any length of time, can't see a way forward. I know when I get some sleep I will be able to get some positivity back but right now it is hard.

Dee74

Hang in there guys - it's not easy, but it is worth it
Keep posting and reaching out - trouble shared and all that

D

Wolfchild

It will get better and you will continue to grow as long as no one takes that first drink or drug!
We can do far more together than any of us can do alone!! i would suggest reading recovery oriented literature, writing about what you are experiencing, and calling or pm ing another recovering addict/alcoholic. You could spend time struggling, but surrender is so much easier and feels much better! Hang on everyone and this to shall pass!!

laurie6781

Hey FS, did you ever buy that bag of individually wrapped hard candies I suggested you get? Doesn't matter what flavor, assorted, peppermint, butterscotch, etc

Part of what you are experiencing is a 'craving'. The restlessness, the discontent, also SUGAR, the sugar your body used to turn the booze into etc. And believe it or not, sucking on a piece of hard candy can quiet that craving.

Y'all might want to try it for a bit and see how quickly those thoughts (cravings) pass.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

firestorm090

Thanks for all your replies SR,

Laurie, I hate to admit it, but I have candy, cake, cookies, and chips, and have eaten cake, cookies and chips all tonight, lol. I feel like a junk food junkie, lol. I do eat the candies, peppermint, cause you never know when you might have to kiss somebody, lol. And you're right, they do help. I think it's that "thinking thing" again tonight, moreso than craving a drink, I'm just lost abit, but posting seems to help. Thanks for caring.

coffeenut

Sometimes when I'm having a hard time.....I read things on SR that I hadn't found before. I've even lurked in the men's room......Shhhhhhh!

tyler

I've been having a tough week with the cravings too. Been hanging tight on the boards here and playing my xbox when I need to!! (Can't drink and play, it messes up my reflexes and the controler takes two hands!!)

There is a sober time calculator here on SR if you are interested in keeping track of your days. SoberRecovery : Sober Time Sobriety Calculator

Hope you're doing well. Take care.

Sweets79

Hey,

I am feeling a little better, I hope you are too. It really is tough.

I just try to tell myself the feeling will pass even though the situation is still there. I am doing my best to rid myself of what has been triggering me all week. I have enough to think about without having someone else work my nerves.

Posting and reading on here is extremely theraputic. Everyone is so supportive and really UNDERSTANDS. That's very important. People who don't have a drinking problem can be supportive and helpful, but they don't have the same understanding as people who have been through it and know what it's like.

Just remember the feeling won't last forever, and by staying sober you are doing something GREAT for yourself. You will start thinking clearly and make better decisions for yourself. Even if it doesn't seem like it now, stick through the tough time in early recovery, and you will be greatful later on.

That's what I keep telling myself