acer67

Happy friday!

I am 67 days sober today. I still feel good about this new path however am feeling more and more like I have nothing to contribute to my AA meeting. It is a small group of women who, the majority, have been sober for quite some time. These women are good speakers and have lots of wisdom. There is only one other lady there with under a year sobriety. Lately, when it is my turn to share, I feel so tongue tied and stupid. I even kinda feel like a fraud sometimes as my "story" is not very colorful. I didn't lose my family, home and all the other yets to alcohol. I didn't go through detox. This kind of thinking gets me on the denial path. Maybe I am overreacting and don't have a problem with booze? I have a hard time speaking in front of people to begin with (part of why I drank) so I find this part of AA very intimidating. I keep being assured by everyone that it does get easier. I just don't have much to say.

CAPTAINZING2000

You don't have to wait to get into AA for your life to be a total mess.

Every person has their own personal bottom. I can fall into the trap of listening to stories in AA and say to myself I wasn't that bad. If, your drinking was making your life unmanagble before you came into AA, it would only get worse by continuing.

The longer you attend meetings, the easier it will get for you to share. I always hope that, God will help me say the words needed to help anyone at a meeting that, hears what I have to say.

If, you have nothing else to share if, it's your turn to share, just say you're greatful to be there and sober today. Everyone needs to be reminded of this

Astro

Agreed. I used to struggle with sharing in early recovery too, I didn't feel like I had anything useful to offer. But I was told that I'd never know what someone else in that room needed to hear, my words could be exactly what they needed for their recovery, but I'd never know if I didn't speak them. Made sense, so I started opening up a little more every time.

carl11

I learned a term called 'yets'; I didn't lose my house yet, I didn't crash my car yet.....I didn't lose my family ...yet..

I am a 'high bottom' drunk whom has relapsed.....theres always 'yet'.

gravity

I am so unbelievably grateful that my story is not as colorful as many people in the rooms. No jail, asylums, suicide attempts, living on the streets, losing my family... Wow! I am so fortunate.

I found that sharing became much more natural once I started working the steps and sharing my experiences with the steps.

I am also a fairly "high bottom" drunk and my step 1 is absolutely critical. I know that if I have one drink that my life will blow up again. No room for rationalization or denial.

One day at a time. If you have nothing to share, no big deal. Just keep moving forward!

espresso

Everyone gets tongue tied about sharing at some point but you never know that whatever you say could actually be what someone else needs to hear. Just be yourself and like CZ has said, saying you're grateful to be in a meeting and are sober is a good start. It's also carrying the message.

Mary52

It helps to have a sponsor to share with one on one. And you could say in an AA meeting what you just told us. I'm sure you would get support.

CAPTAINZING2000

Want to really do some good for your sobriety, attend meetings at rehab and prisons.
If, that doesn't leave a lasting impression with you, nothing else will...

Rowan

My home group is all-women and I was just like you - felt like I had not as colourful a story, but especially that I had nothing of value to offer. And while I am not a newcomer today, it's often the new ones who come in that I get the most from - the raw sharing, the obvious discomfort and fear - that reminds me how far I have come.

I too would share just what you shared here - and I think you will get a lot of support and identification from other members.

You're in the right place.

least

I like the idea of just saying you're grateful to be sober today. It's true, at the least, and starting out simply can make sharing easier after a while.

1_day@_a_time

It's been suggested to me & I suggest to others, look for the similarities, not the differences.

"My story" is not very colorful.........from my viewpoint, it's not about the stories, it's about my growth moving forward. Building a whole new life sober, in recovery.

I didn't lose material things either, No detox, no rehabs. The pain I wanted to stop was the emotional, mental & spiritual pain after I had been sober a while.

"I just don't have much to say". So, just listen! Listen to the wisdom and serenity of the ladies there. I have been known to not speak in any meetings for about 1 year........just kept my big mouth shut & listened.

It really helped me.

CarolD

Hmmm...
I did not either...my alcoholism mostly affected my mind.
I did not like....ME.
When I started my AA steps...I feel I went from
sobriety to recovery.....

I actually found the new me was more
positive...spirit connected ...serene.
Pick up the tools...the best is yet to me


Congratulations on your sober time.

CAPTAINZING2000

mental anguish which causes stress is just as bad as the physical pain brought onto us by drinking. The stress from the problems brought on by drinking alone can lead to heart attacks.

How drinking affects your health

Believe808

Hi Acer, I have problems sharing at meetings too, so what my sponsor told me to do was raise my hand and say that. I did, I shared that I felt what was bothering me no one would want to hear about and that I didn't feel comfortable sharing. I was surprised to see how many people felt the same way. I was told to share to get it off my chest, no matter if I thought others wanted to hear it or not. I was also told that my sharing helps them with their recovery, it reminds them about early sobriety.

Rad44

My Rules for Myself Reguarding Sharing:

1) It's not important if I dont't like sharing, only that I do it.
2) The more I don't want to share, the more I should be sharing.
3) The more humbling the anecdote, the more it helps my recovery.
4) Always talk about myself and my experiences as they relate to recovery.
5) Never preach, lecture or address others.

NewBeginning010

Nice advice everyone, I like that CAPT ;-)

You have your next share ready, talk about how you feel about sharing & why ;-)

Its tough, I remember doing my first share years ago at my first meeting. I don't remember what I had to say as I was a hungover mess in a bad place (spiritually, mentally & emotionally). But I just started & let it all out (felt great).

All I do remember is seeing tears in some peoples eyes & being approached by wonderful people afterwards offering support & guidence.

The really sad part is I wasnt ready or prepared to quit & went back out.

Its ok though because I am here & working on my recovery.

Take Care

NB

tommyk

Tell everyone at the meeting how you got sober, and what you do to stay sober.

Everyone will relate, right?

joedris

There's no rule that you have to share. You can always pass. But remember, no matter how far down the scale we have gone, our experience can benefit others. So don't feel intimidated by others w/ more sobriety than you. The only sobriety that really counts is today. And in that respect, you're all equal.

hendershot

I used to think of myself as a "high-bottom alcoholic" but this was not healthy thinking. The thought process was something like "maybe I am an alcoholic but I am not as bad as these people." In reality I am as much an alcoholic as anyone else and the self-deception, the trying to think of myself as different, was a means to diminish the strength of my disease and to validate my ego. I am not saying you are doing this but it is something to consider. Your bottom comes when you stop digging. It is up how low your bottom is is but if you want to go back out and dig some more you were certainly find a lower bottom. It takes different circumstances for us to find recovery. I didn't have any kind of external pressure to enter the program but I found that my private anguish was enough of a catylst for me to change. We are all different. But we are all fundamentally the same: alcoholics/addicts.
In terms of sharing at meetings: I did not do this once the first 30 days and 30 meetings. I would rationalize it all kinds of different ways, but looking back, it was just fear. Fear of embarassing myself mostly. This is something that I overcame by just talking in meetings, even if to only say a few things at first. It doesn't matter if you think you have nothing to contribute. If you say anything recovery related it will be acceptable. By in large AAers really supportive and nothing bad is going to happen if you just share your views on topic. But if you are not comfortable speaking it is not a big deal either. The courage to walk through the door is worth the price of admission. Congratulations on the sobriety.

stone

A good reason to share is just so people get to know me, I feel more part of things. It took me a long while to be able to share without getting very nervous about it, now I don't worry if what I am saying is interesting or if I forget my point, I just do it.