scoop

Well, today is day 35 and it has been going OK!! But, the last two days have been really rough the urge to drink has been really eating at me. I haven't but I catch myself thinking about it a lot. I hate the feeling!!!! I keep fighting but today I found myself thinking "Is it all worth it"

Dee74

Hi Scoop

it absolutely *is* worth it...but it takes longer than we want to get there...

I know I drank for 20 years and expected to be fine in 2 weeks - it takes a little longer than that for mind and body to heal...

patience is not usually our strongest virtue...but trusting it would all work out and staying committed to recovery is the best thing I ever did..seriously

what else are you doing in yr recovery besides not drinking ?

D

tallcactus

Well, today is day 35 and it has been going OK!! But, the last two days have been really rough the urge to drink has been really eating at me. I haven't but I catch myself thinking about it a lot. I hate the feeling!!!! I keep fighting but today I found myself thinking "Is it all worth it"
(((Scoop)))
It is so worth it. You have 35 days. Do you want to start over? Think about this. All those thoughts creeping in, battle them, fight them. I know it isn't easy, been there to many times, but the more time you have, the easier it gets. When I think of drinking again, I review...
Do I want another DUI? Hated that orange outfit and the county jail. Do not want to go back. I cringe at my visual ( in my mind) of my mug shot.

Maybe I'll cause injury or death. That sure isn't something that I could ever live with.

Do I want to lose the respect of hubby and son? NO, I have that back.
I could go on and on....Think about this, review your remons.

Wolfchild

It seems as if you are finding out the difference between staying sober because you think you have to and the heartfelt desire to stay sober because you want to. Believe it or not, this is normal for someone who is fresh out of alcoholic hell. i would like to remind you that surrender means not having to fight anymore. i sincerely appreciate you sharing about this beforehand instead of after picking up that first drink. Thank you!!

OZboy

i'm glad you posted this thread...when i get bad cravings i tell someone
who cares and understands. what better place to find somebody like that..
than this wonderful SR site..
...........1 day at a time! you'll be fine..Oz.

SillyBilly

Good advice wolfchild.

I'll need you too when things get harder for me (currently on day 6)

Scoop - on ya brother for reaching out

scoop

I am going to meetings and talking with others in recovery.
I try to keep busy because that seems to help keep my mind busy.
Also, I have the Big Book and I need to start reading.