Not A Newcomer to Sobriety, BUT New to the Forum
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: ny, ny
Posts: 5
Not A Newcomer to Sobriety, BUT New to the Forum
Hello Ladies and Gents,
I'm sober four years now. I couldn't have done it without AA meetings to get my life back on track. After about one year of meetings, I only went periodically. I'm not much of a joiner, being an artistic and introverted, person; I didn't like to share at the meetings that much. Luckily, I found Buddhism and love the work of getting to know my mind.
When I first got sober, for the first three years, I was still entertaining the idea that maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic. I was entertaining the thought that I had been at a bad place in my life or that I was just too young to know how to handle my liquor. A couple of acquaintances also tried to "help" me a few times when I was at parties by saying, "You're not an alcoholic, you just haven't found your liquor yet." (You have to watch out for well-meaning friends that just don't understand what you could lose if you pick up that Bottle and start thinking of it as your Friend. )
Then I went camping just about a year ago with some friends and observed them casually "having a beer." I watched as they took their time, enjoying the beer and talking to friends. They could drink that beer and then stop after one or two. I was amazed!
I realized then and there, like a flash of lightning, that I truly am an alcoholic and always will be an alcoholic. I knew that if I had been drinking that I would have been face-down on the forest floor, sucking dead leaves up my nose within two hours time.
When I was drinking, I never had an off button. I always was waiting to hit rock bottom and then I realized THERE IS NO BOTTOM! YOU FALL FOREVER!
I know if I drink all of the hard work I have done in the past four years will go down the toilet. Sometimes it's hard to resist, but I would never want to be that unthinking, unknowing, shut-off person again. I love the me I am today because I took the chance to just be me, without a drink.
Well, much love to you all on this board. It's good to come around and see my fellows working hard on cultivating that peace of mind.
I'm sober four years now. I couldn't have done it without AA meetings to get my life back on track. After about one year of meetings, I only went periodically. I'm not much of a joiner, being an artistic and introverted, person; I didn't like to share at the meetings that much. Luckily, I found Buddhism and love the work of getting to know my mind.
When I first got sober, for the first three years, I was still entertaining the idea that maybe I wasn't really an alcoholic. I was entertaining the thought that I had been at a bad place in my life or that I was just too young to know how to handle my liquor. A couple of acquaintances also tried to "help" me a few times when I was at parties by saying, "You're not an alcoholic, you just haven't found your liquor yet." (You have to watch out for well-meaning friends that just don't understand what you could lose if you pick up that Bottle and start thinking of it as your Friend. )
Then I went camping just about a year ago with some friends and observed them casually "having a beer." I watched as they took their time, enjoying the beer and talking to friends. They could drink that beer and then stop after one or two. I was amazed!
I realized then and there, like a flash of lightning, that I truly am an alcoholic and always will be an alcoholic. I knew that if I had been drinking that I would have been face-down on the forest floor, sucking dead leaves up my nose within two hours time.
When I was drinking, I never had an off button. I always was waiting to hit rock bottom and then I realized THERE IS NO BOTTOM! YOU FALL FOREVER!
I know if I drink all of the hard work I have done in the past four years will go down the toilet. Sometimes it's hard to resist, but I would never want to be that unthinking, unknowing, shut-off person again. I love the me I am today because I took the chance to just be me, without a drink.
Well, much love to you all on this board. It's good to come around and see my fellows working hard on cultivating that peace of mind.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
welcome to SR, De Pompadour
this is very true for me too 
Good to have you aboard!
D
I know if I drink all of the hard work I have done in the past four years will go down the toilet. Sometimes it's hard to resist, but I would never want to be that unthinking, unknowing, shut-off person again. I love the me I am today because I took the chance to just be me, without a drink.
Good to have you aboard!
D
Soft & Silky & Manageable
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Radelaide
Posts: 148
"You're not an alcoholic, you just haven't found your liquor yet."
Then I went camping just about a year ago with some friends and observed them casually "having a beer." I watched as they took their time, enjoying the beer and talking to friends. They could drink that beer and then stop after one or two. I was amazed!
Doesn't mean we can't get just as much, if not MORE out of life being 'alcohol-free'.
Welcome to the board my new friend :ghug3
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Originally Posted by SillyBilly 
Sorry but LOL, I've heard THAT one before mate!
I know right? It totally sucks, in my personal opinion. Those b@$tards! But, we have to accept that we are alcoholics and we have to learn to live with it. Sad but true.
I know right? It totally sucks, in my personal opinion. Those b@$tards! But, we have to accept that we are alcoholics and we have to learn to live with it. Sad but true.
You need to lose this feeling of 'contempt' towards 'others' and their responsible drinking in-order for you to embrace sobriety as a way of life imho.
I never 'wanted' to drink responsibly anyhow... well whats the point?
I think attending AA meetings has helped me begin to actually feel a peace, serenity and liberation at watching others drink a few beers responsibly as I smile to myself and think how different I am to those "normal?" people.
Peace.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Welcome to the family DePomp - you spoke many truths. I was determined to manage my intake so I could be like the others, too. There was a huge amount of resentment in the beginning, but it's lessening. I spent many years trying different ways of moderating & they all failed spectacularly!
I'm glad you took the chance to just be you - me too. I rather like me after all. Who knew?
Looking forward to hearing more from you. Sending love up there to beautiful NYC.
I'm glad you took the chance to just be you - me too. I rather like me after all. Who knew?
Looking forward to hearing more from you. Sending love up there to beautiful NYC.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
you the funny thing is, I've never been around anyone who has one or 2 and stops. My family and friends all drink to excess or don't drink, mostly the former. I'm going to start looking out for these "normies", they must be a sight to behold!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 118
Thanks for the inspiration. This is going to be my mantra the next time alcoholism tries to trick me into having a beer:
Bad as it got for me, it could have gotten much worse. Thanks again.
I always was waiting to hit rock bottom and then I realized THERE IS NO BOTTOM! YOU FALL FOREVER!
Soft & Silky & Manageable
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Radelaide
Posts: 148
I used to think like this when I was not 'totally ready' to give up drinking! Consequently I felt like I was consequently being torn apart by the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, the 'dry-drunk' if you like.
You need to lose this feeling of 'contempt' towards 'others' and their responsible drinking in-order for you to embrace sobriety as a way of life imho.
I never 'wanted' to drink responsibly anyhow... well whats the point?
I think attending AA meetings has helped me begin to actually feel a peace, serenity and liberation at watching others drink a few beers responsibly as I smile to myself and think how different I am to those "normal?" people.
You need to lose this feeling of 'contempt' towards 'others' and their responsible drinking in-order for you to embrace sobriety as a way of life imho.
I never 'wanted' to drink responsibly anyhow... well whats the point?
I think attending AA meetings has helped me begin to actually feel a peace, serenity and liberation at watching others drink a few beers responsibly as I smile to myself and think how different I am to those "normal?" people.
but I'm not poo poo'ing anything you said. I'm embracing sobriety in all its glory and loving every minute of it.But I appreciate your concern and thank you for taking the time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by DePompadour
Hello Ladies and Gents,
When I was drinking, I never had an off button. I always was waiting to hit rock bottom and then I realized THERE IS NO BOTTOM! YOU FALL FOREVER!
When I was drinking, I never had an off button. I always was waiting to hit rock bottom and then I realized THERE IS NO BOTTOM! YOU FALL FOREVER!
I am also a fellow camping leaf sucker lol... with a switch that only goes one way "ON" 
I also liked this "THERE IS NO BOTTOM! YOU FALL FOREVER!"
Welcome to SR
.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Originally Posted by SillyBilly
Oh it was only a joke man but I'm not poo poo'ing anything you said. I'm embracing sobriety in all its glory and loving every minute of it.
But I appreciate your concern and thank you for taking the time.
but I'm not poo poo'ing anything you said. I'm embracing sobriety in all its glory and loving every minute of it.But I appreciate your concern and thank you for taking the time.
No worries dude, I didn't wish to come across all 'holier than thou' or anything and glad you didn't take it as such, hell, I'm only newly sober and still keeping the whole 'No more drinking alcohol ever' firmly rooted in the 'one day at a time' mantra.
I guess I commented because I was thinking about sobriety and others drinking alcohol in exactly that fashion, that was as little as two weeks ago!! I guess I am just pleased that I genuinly feel that my thinking towards drinking, and others drinking, has somehow changed, the resentment I once felt seems to have lifted but as they say "One day at a time!"
peace and Love, NEOMARXIST "Viva La Revolution."
Soft & Silky & Manageable
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Radelaide
Posts: 148
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
No worries dude, I didn't wish to come across all 'holier than thou' or anything and glad you didn't take it as such, hell, I'm only newly sober and still keeping the whole 'No more drinking alcohol ever' firmly rooted in the 'one day at a time' mantra.
I guess I commented because I was thinking about sobriety and others drinking alcohol in exactly that fashion, that was as little as two weeks ago!! I guess I am just pleased that I genuinly feel that my thinking towards drinking, and others drinking, has somehow changed, the resentment I once felt seems to have lifted but as they say "One day at a time!"
peace and Love, NEOMARXIST "Viva La Revolution."
I guess I commented because I was thinking about sobriety and others drinking alcohol in exactly that fashion, that was as little as two weeks ago!! I guess I am just pleased that I genuinly feel that my thinking towards drinking, and others drinking, has somehow changed, the resentment I once felt seems to have lifted but as they say "One day at a time!"
peace and Love, NEOMARXIST "Viva La Revolution."
We're all in the same boat. And I'm STOKED you also have that genuine feeling of attitude-shift and change of mindset. Again, thank you for taking the time.
SR and UNITY forever :ghug3
Last edited by SillyBilly; 06-18-2009 at 06:18 PM. Reason: because I can't spell 'takeing' this early in the morning
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