who's will is who's?
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who's will is who's?
So I was reading the One Day at a Time Alanon book, and today's reminder was on the 3rd step, and doing Gods will, instead of forcing our own will. It made me laugh because I feel like I have only ever tried to impose my will on all my problems. In fact I would go so far as to say that i thought if my will was strong enough than my AW would get clean (I am a piece of work). My question is how can you (or how do you) tell the difference between your will and God's?
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Originally Posted by eggdogg1234 
So I was reading the One Day at a Time Alanon book, and today's reminder was on the 3rd step, and doing Gods will, instead of forcing our own will. It made me laugh because I feel like I have only ever tried to impose my will on all my problems. In fact I would go so far as to say that i thought if my will was strong enough than my AW would get clean (I am a piece of work). My question is how can you (or how do you) tell the difference between your will and God's?
For me, the most reasonable thing is acceptance that I have no control over anyone else's behavior.
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Originally Posted by eggdogg1234
Made me laugh thanks......funny cause there is truth to it.
I have to be real careful about thinking that I know best, you know?
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990
Yes, there is! I found that out the hard way!
I have to be real careful about thinking that I know best, you know?
I have to be real careful about thinking that I know best, you know?
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Originally Posted by eggdogg1234
I do know what you are saying. I am at this weird point in my life and I am trying my hardest to not react to my problems, but rather allow them to naturally be worked out. But I am finding that I am not sure when I am allowing my life to happen vs choking the life out of my life vs passing up opportunities because I am not being proactive. For me I guess I am trying to be aware of my motivation; am I reacting out of fear (fear of losing my house, my stuff, my wife) or am I following my HP's will? It can be very clear at times, and very murky at other times. I also feel like the more I learn about codependency and addiction the less I know.
I understand the confusion at times. I've gotten better at recognizing the small quiet voice within that is usually my HP guiding me. It's hard for me to describe it because I am sure it's different for each person.
We shouldn't be a doormat, or pass up opportunities for growth. I can usually tell when someone is stepping over a personal boundary of mine as I am uncomfortable and feel violated, if that makes any sense.
I just know when I make a decision that is not based on self-will, it feels 'right'. Something clicks and I know it's a good decision.
Now I've probably really murked it up for you, huh?!
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But what about this: what if it is "god's" will for my cat to die (my cat is sick and i can't afford the vet bills), and for my partner to remain an active addict... which is extremely possible. I feel unable to accept these outcomes!! And I feel angry at "god" and "his" will hurts tremendously.
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Originally Posted by Faith444
But what about this: what if it is "god's" will for my cat to die (my cat is sick and i can't afford the vet bills), and for my partner to remain an active addict... which is extremely possible. I feel unable to accept these outcomes!! And I feel angry at "god" and "his" will hurts tremendously.
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Originally Posted by Chino
I don't believe God's will means we're puppets on a string, I believe in free will. I believe God's will is the map for navigating through life and it's ups and downs.
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It sometimes calls for true faith and endurance to trust his will and not try to serve your own purpose. I have found especially with a new little one, I have to be the best example I can be even in very very trying times.
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For me, it seems that God's will repeats. So when I hit brick wall after brick wall after brick wall... sometimes, I stop and think - hey, do you think I am "pushing the river", here?
Also, MY will generally only involves me and one other person. The solution God comes up with almost ALWAYS has an effect on LOTS of folks... who might not otherwise interact.
So I guess I tell by experiementing a bit... if I hit resistance, I (am learning) to back off, take another look and at least CONSIDER the possibility that my way might not be the only or best way.
I, too, hate the idea that death may be a destiny. But c'mon, no one gets off this world alive... so in one respect, death is destiny for ALL of us. What I can't stand is you, or them, or he or she.... going first. I want them to stay here with ME, for my own selfish reasons.
Believing in a higher power, has, for me, entailed a lot of thinking about the idea of what the hell are we doing here, is this just a carnival ride, or do we have a purpose and if that purpose is to learn... to develop into the brightest, shiniest people we can be.... then I might want to look at my life more as a series of lessons, rather than a series of tragedies.
Plus, in MY belief system, we get more than one shot at going to school... so if I mess up, there will be more chances.... and we do meet one another again and again.
(((hugs))))
Also, MY will generally only involves me and one other person. The solution God comes up with almost ALWAYS has an effect on LOTS of folks... who might not otherwise interact.
So I guess I tell by experiementing a bit... if I hit resistance, I (am learning) to back off, take another look and at least CONSIDER the possibility that my way might not be the only or best way.
I, too, hate the idea that death may be a destiny. But c'mon, no one gets off this world alive... so in one respect, death is destiny for ALL of us. What I can't stand is you, or them, or he or she.... going first. I want them to stay here with ME, for my own selfish reasons.
Believing in a higher power, has, for me, entailed a lot of thinking about the idea of what the hell are we doing here, is this just a carnival ride, or do we have a purpose and if that purpose is to learn... to develop into the brightest, shiniest people we can be.... then I might want to look at my life more as a series of lessons, rather than a series of tragedies.
Plus, in MY belief system, we get more than one shot at going to school... so if I mess up, there will be more chances.... and we do meet one another again and again.
(((hugs))))
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Originally Posted by whereami
It sometimes calls for true faith and endurance to trust his will and not try to serve your own purpose. I have found especially with a new little one, I have to be the best example I can be even in very very trying times.
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Originally Posted by Faith444
But what about this: what if it is "god's" will for my cat to die (my cat is sick and i can't afford the vet bills), and for my partner to remain an active addict... which is extremely possible. I feel unable to accept these outcomes!! And I feel angry at "god" and "his" will hurts tremendously.
KariSue
P.S. Ahem, I figure I can at least say that much anyway. Do you know how hard it is to NOT post 'an opinion' in this thread?
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No offense is intended to others of different beliefs - this is merely my personal beliefs.
For me personally sometimes i step in God's way. okay - i always step in God's way. I have these ideas of what is supposed to happen and how it should happen and i try to control my life. But life is not something I can control. I personally believe that God does know what is best for me and he wants the best for me and those that I love. when i step back and let him do it things work out - when i try to control it then i mess it up. I'm not saying that HP doesnt want us to do anything - we're not to just be lazy in our lives but we do have to have faith that he knows what is best for me and that if i just stop interfering then he can do his job. I usually know its God's will when it goes against my nature - when in doubt if its mine or his i just slow down and pray till i know.
As for free will - I personally find that a very beautiful thing. If you chain someone down and try to force them to love you then its not really love. He gave us the choice to trust and love him or not - that is the only way its real. We cant always understand the painful things but in my personal opinion - its not God that created pain - however these times are sometimes used to teach us how to become who he intended us to be.
For me personally sometimes i step in God's way. okay - i always step in God's way. I have these ideas of what is supposed to happen and how it should happen and i try to control my life. But life is not something I can control. I personally believe that God does know what is best for me and he wants the best for me and those that I love. when i step back and let him do it things work out - when i try to control it then i mess it up. I'm not saying that HP doesnt want us to do anything - we're not to just be lazy in our lives but we do have to have faith that he knows what is best for me and that if i just stop interfering then he can do his job. I usually know its God's will when it goes against my nature - when in doubt if its mine or his i just slow down and pray till i know.
As for free will - I personally find that a very beautiful thing. If you chain someone down and try to force them to love you then its not really love. He gave us the choice to trust and love him or not - that is the only way its real. We cant always understand the painful things but in my personal opinion - its not God that created pain - however these times are sometimes used to teach us how to become who he intended us to be.
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