Sweets79

I don't even know what's making me hang on at this point.

I have almost 2 months sober and EVERYTHING is going wrong. I'm not being dramatic when I say that.

I hate to sound so miserable, just don't know what to say. What is something you do when you feel like you can't deal with it anymore? I'm at my witts end.

Wolfchild

It usually doesn't get like that for me anymore. i've learned how to indentify what are my feelings and what is 'actual reality'. Situations that i need help with are the ones i reach out to others to find out how to live through it clean. i also talk to the God of my understanding about everything i am feeling and/or thinking. i call my sponsor when it becomes apparent to me that i need his direction to deal with a greater issue that is being revealed. My irritation or frustration with the appearance of someone or something always seem to expose some type of deeper rooted problem i need to work through to gain a greater freedom from self obsession. i still go to meetings and help whoever i can to get a little relief from the immediate uncomfortability of dealing with something new. i keep my focus on my recovery and relax my grip on any judgement i have so that it doesn't become a resentment. i read the Basic text, the Just For Today meditation, and continue to write on and live the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of NA. And when all else fails, i simply hold onto myself and let enough time to go by to get a better perspective on myself.

Keep on keeping on and just don't use no matter what!!

least

I'm dealing with a lot of the same crap, I just choose not to drink over it anymore. I can't explain it better, I just choose to not let it "get" me. I know that's not much help, when you're feeling so horrible, but I've just got a message in my head saying, "no matter what happens, you can't drink today", and somehow that still works for me.

I too felt like I was being 'punished' for my sobriety by bad things happening to me, but it's just the luck of the draw. Sometimes bad things happen, sometimes they don't. It could also be that you're so much more aware of things now that you're sober, so it seems worse than it actually is.

love and hugs from me:ghug2

suki44883

I was feeling that way yesterday, so, as soon as I got home from work, I went to bed. LOL

I have to admit, I felt much better this morning.

keithj

I ask for relief from the bondage of self.

ThirstForLife

Change gears and slow things down. Catch your breath. Just relax tonight. Get lost in a great movie and drift off into a deep sleep. Wake up tomorrow ready to but some positive energy towards all this stuff thats brining you down.

I hope you feel better soon.

bugsworth

I'm sorry you having a rough time Sweets...life tends to be like that...forever changing and sometimes not for the better. I think your hanging on because you know sobriety is the right thing for you...that you have been hurt enough by feeding your addiction...to go back to that would be jumping from the pan into the fire...you know this and that is why you are hanging on. Stay strong thru the hard times so you can really enjoy the good times. The only thing in life that is constant is change...this will pass.

jamdls

Aww Sweets:ghug My solution is always CHOCOLATE, when things are really bad treat yourself in some way, other than alcohol of course!

Believe808

Sweets I know the feeling but it is at the darkest times that I realize I need to ask my HP whom I choose to call God to please help me. I have no problem when things are good to talk to God but it takes me hurting real bad to realize I have to take a step back and say a prayer for the willingness to believe that all will be well. Someone gave me a flat stone with the words TURN IT OVER on both sides. I keep that stone in my pocket at all times and try to remember its there. I always reach inside my pocket and keep turning the stone over. Its just a reminder for me.

Gypsy Feet

I have learned to try and look for the lesson. I missed some lessons on dealing with grief, pain, anger, fear and rejection by drinking my way through the experience. Now when the sh!t hits the fan, I try and take a step back and learn how to cope and move through it without hiding.

Ice cream works well too

123bubblegum123

The best thing, IMO, when you get that overwhelming hopeless feeling is to know that everything would only be dramatically worse if you used again. Besides, you've already made it this far sober, why give up now? That which doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger! I'm glad you shared on here! Try to maybe tweak your thinking. I just got off the phone with a close galpal and she too is struggling with a lot. Honestly, positive thinking often heeds positive results.

I hope you stay safe and can fight the light in everything you're going through. Nothing is worth using over.

Hugs,
Rach

SurviveIt

As far as I know, the only way not to have another bad day or period in your life is to die. You don't get any good days either, though...

Seriously, hang in there. Things will get better. Drinking won't make them any better.

NewBeginning010

Nice post Wolfchild & others.

Sorry that you are dealing with negative situations, take it easy & try your best to look at the positive things that you are learning through your sober experience.

Be easy on yourself.

NB

sfgirl

I found that a lot of my first six months of sobriety were me dealing with feeling crappy. There is a lot of good advice here:

1. From wolfchild: This is a skill I have really had to cultivate in sobriety. It gets easier and easier. I have done it with the help of therapy. I wouldn't have even know how to start or where I was going without the help of my therapist. But I am sure there are other ways to figure it out. Meditation helps for sure.

2. From Suki: That is the other thing that I think I always knew but have really learned to remind myself. Bad moods pass. Hell, good moods pass. Feelings are temporary. It is really, really easy to imagine they are permanent. For the last week I have been feeling crappy, I got into that trap of running that tape of "why is my life continually sh*tty? what is the point?" But then I stopped and reminded myself wait I have only felt this way for five days before that I felt wonderful. What are the chances this will be the rest of my life? Guess what, today for some reason I finally feel great and happy again. But I had to bear it out. I had to tolerate feeling bad. And as an alcoholic I pretty much never learned to do that. Finally, I am learning.

Those are both more long-term coping mechanisms. You feel horrible right now and probably both of those things won't help you immediately. What I have found helpful when things are overwhelming or seem horrible is to try and focus on just the moment at hand. The single moment. If you can breathe and be present in the moment, like zen meditation, and watch your body and see how you actually feel without letting your mind run future or past games on you it is a lot easier to deal with.

Anna

Sweets,

I'm sorry that things are so hard right now.

What works for me, is to write a list of things I want/need to do. It helps me to see it in black and white. Then try to accomplish one or two things each day. It helps you to keep from getting overwhelmed.

tommyk

In times of peril...

I like to turn to my step working guide, exercise, music, and/or reading.

Whatever of these activities best 'gets me out of myself' for the moment, and the next moment.

Break the train of thought, confuse your disease with mental activity.

Alot of times my mind is a bad neighborhood and I shouldn't be in there alone - get with other people.

No, don't accept it, fight it, divert it, MANAGE it.

Sweets79

Thank you all so much for the wonderful responses. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

I forced myself to go to the gym tonight, although I really wasn't in the mood. I got some of my frustration/anger out. I was still feeling sad through the whole workout, but I pushed myself. It's better than sitting on my couch downing a pint of Vodka, which is what I would have always done on a day like this.

I stopped by my mom's house, came home, ate, took a long hot shower and tried to calm down. I feel a little better than before. I'm realizing right now there is one person I need to get out of my life. This person is really pushing me over the edge and I am in no state of mind to deal with it right now. Actually, I shouldn't ever deal with it. It has to be nipped in the bud. I hold on because I think of the good things, but the bad part pretty much X's out the "good" things I see. It's hard, because I always try to hold on to some hope that things might be different this time. It's in my best interest to let go of this person. I'm smart enough to know that, but when strong feelings are involved, it's immensely hard to do. It has to be done. Life has enough triggers, I don't need another one.

marty888

Hey Sweets, great work on the gym and even better work on getting through a really hard day. You should be proud of yourself.

Anna

Sweets,

I think you are so very right. In early recovery, I finally got some perspective and was able to see very clearly, things that I had been ignoring for a long time. It hurt, but it was also a relief because I knew I was doing the right thing for me.

Dime

Hi Sweets,
Exercise is probably the best stress reliever I can think of. I just need to do more of it myself. LOL Way to go by heading out to the gym. Sounds like from your last post you have a better idea of what's really going on. There has been some great advice given in this thread I really like the ones that mention that moods and feelings are temporary and do pass. They hard part for me was realizing that most of my stress has been self generated. I have to remind myself of that every day. Then a weekly trip to visit the detox hospital and my problems don't seem so bad anymore.