yankees24

So I had a total of eight days clean this Monday from both my substances of choice, (alcohol and benzodiazepines). The first few days were horrible, basically just on edge 24-7, not a moment of relaxation, than days 3-4 were a little better but still chronic anxiety. Day 5 and 6 i started feeling pretty good and only had minimal anxiety, than it seemed to return again to the earlier stages of days 3 and 4 and thats when i relapsed. I was so tired of the depression and anxiety i went through in the last week (which felt like a month) that i cracked and picked up a small dose of percocet to "escape" for a few hours, and hoped to get some good sleep...Anyway, i got high, finally anxiety free but mad at myself for having to give into a substance to get through the day. A part of me is proud i fought off the cravings for alcohol and benzos but the other part of me knows that replacing it wasent much brighter of an idea...Im just so frusturated, I know im still making progress and will learn from this, but when will the anxiety go away? I dont even have insurance, and i dont want to turn my life over to an SSRI. Im also weary of doctors and get triggered just by going in there remembering all the time ive walked out with a script for 90 xanax...I guess all im asking is what helps those who do have anxiety cope, and how long can i expect to feel this way? thanks for listening..

tommyk

Consult with a doctor, or two, about quitting alcohol and benzo's.

"... i dont want to turn my life over to an SSRI."

You'd rather keep turning your life over to alcohol and addictive drugs/meds instead is what you are saying?

I'm not saying you should or shouldn't take SSRI's as prescribed, but I'm suggesting that you might want to be more open to treatment of your current problems.

We sometimes make the worst decisions for ourselves when in active addiction, right?

yankees24

I dont want to turn my life over to any substances is what I am saying. I dont have insurance or the money to spend on a doctor, i already have enough bills piled up. Im hoping the anxiety is just part of the detox process, my take on ssris is a drug is a drug is a drug. Plus ive heard horror stories and dont want to have to detox off of that someday as well... Even the most gentle taper can be quite rough, and i want my progress to be natural, not aided by a synthetic substance...Im just trying to get some anxiety coping techniques, thats all...

Wolfchild

It seems as if your addiction is making more progress than you are. It already got you to substitute one drug for another and is promoting negative feelings in an effort to keep you stuck in it's grip. Why not give yourself a break and go to 90 meetings for 90 days? i've heard that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using...

least

About SSRIs, I beg to differ. I've been on zoloft for over 11 yrs now and owe my mental health to it. SSRIs are NOT just "a drug", they restore the chemical imbalance in so many of us. I'd be a mess without it. SSRIs are prescribed meds for depression, and do NOT give the same feelings as a benzo. Please don't confuse the two.

If you have a history of depression SSRIs may help keep you OFF the booze and drugs, not make you worse off. Please don't let anyone tell you that the SSRIs are a benzo-like drug, cause they aren't. For people like me, they are a lifesaver.

hendershot

SSRI's are a drug--not a benzo like drug--and not potentially addictive as far as I know. I don't think there is anything wrong with SSRI's but they are a drug.
Yankees: in my experience with debilitating panic attacks and anxiety, the booze and benzos make it much worse. While I am a high or drunk I may not feel anxious but my overall anxiety tolerance when I am not using gets ridiculous. I was not able to even leave the house or anything without freaking out for a few years. For me getting clean almost immidiately lessened my anxiety significantly. That's not to say I still don't get anxious but nothing on par with what it is was like while using. And I don't take any medication, but I don't think it is necessarily wrong for you to take an SSRI or something like that.
In my experience "the cure" for anxiety is attained by practicing being anxious--that is by putting yourself in anxiety triggering situations again and again you no longer feel the intense anxiety. Booze and drugs do nothing to help long-term anxiety and chemically they actually damage your brain's ability neurologically to deal with anxiety by preventing essential anti-anxiety chemicals from being released. Eight days is not enough time for your brain chemistry to heal from the kinds of changes that have taken place, but it will eventually if you stay sober.

suki44883

There are much worse things than taking SSRIs as prescribed. Like Least, they have been a lifesaver for me, and I don't just mean MY life. LOL!!

yankees24

Thank you all.

NewBeginning010

Totally, my anxiety was 10 to 1000 times worse after a binge. Hanover's mixed with anxiety & panic attacks are a killer combination.

Think of how long you have been abusing yourself & how long you have given your mind/body to recover.

I hope that you are feeling better soon.

NB

Anna

I also take anti-depressants and have for years. I have a chemical imbalance that they help to correct. Without that medication, I didn't care enough to get sober. I just lacked the motivation and felt it didn't really matter. Thankfully the medication has helped me and continues to help me and I have been sober for quite awhile now.

tommyk

Amen!