Crazy4Him

I got drunk tonight, I never drink and Im not sure I can handle it. I got a ride from a potential love interest and am pretty sure I compltel turned him off with my drunken antics. We were supposed to see a movie tomorrow but instead he said, "I'll see you Friday." he doesn't know me well so he doesn't know that I NEVER DRINK. This is not me. A female friend took me out and I had one too many. I'm ashamd to admitt tht I can see why my axbf does this. IT makes everything go away.

I got wasted and I love that it makes me not feel anything. No anger. No pain. How am I any better than him?

Jadmack25

Don't panic. You had more than planned and it rocked your socks off. Ok!!
When you see your ride on Friday, don't treat yourself as a shameful criminal, maybe just say the truth. "I don't drink much and the bit I had really affected me."

Yes, it does make some things "go away"... for a while, but then those issues return, usually along with a few more, plus more shame, grief and feeling very unwell.

God bless

Barbara52

From where I sit, with time and distance from the madness, I can say you are no better than him. But that is not a put down of either of you. Its recognition that we all have our own issues, our own ways of dealing with them and are all flawed humans. Its not a matter of being "better" than him, its a matter of how you and he differ.

Where the difference comes in in how you deal with getting wasted. For him, its a continuing pattern. For you, a rarity. I wouldn't agonize it unless you find yourself repeating the behavior. Then it might be time to take stock of yourself.

freya

You got drunk and made a fool of yourself. That tends to happen to people when they get drunk. Maybe you lost out on a potential relationship because of it. That's kind of a high price to pay for one drunk, but, if it convinces you that drinking really makes more problems than it solves (although I would have thought you might have learned that particular lesson already) it's probably worth it.

There's nothing to be gained by comparing yourself to him or to anyone else. All that matters is that you be the best possible "you" you can be.
Is this the best possible "you" you can be?

If not, it's not good enough regardless of how much better than or worse than or similar to anyone else it is.

freya

Romey4

"goes away" has a permanent connotation to it....you merely hid the pain for a few hours, and then added the physical pain of "day after drinking" to it.

You're not the only one who's ever done that Matter of fact, I approached alanon and SR in part because I knew I was heading down the wrong path with drinking too much in order to deal with the emotional pain my x caused. Fortunately I was able to change course....it just took a few hang overs to get it! *WHEW*

I often wonder how many of us (meaning SOs of alcoholics) actually pick up the drink in a big way when trying to face this problem, only to find themselves in the same boat as their X.

Still Waters

I'd guess many Romey - for me though, seeing the reality of the disease in that rehab was all it took. Scary.

Romey4

all it did for me was make feel like a moron for doing exactly what I was angry about...drinking too much. I guess I thought it was OK when we split up, but in reality it was a lame excuse to avoid dealing with the situation...and I'm stronger than that!

HA!

TakingCharge999

Unrelated note, yesterday I went to the doc. for an eye check as my eyes were red.

He asked me

Do you smoke? I said NO..
Do you drink? I said NO... (the ocassional wine with pasta, lovely dinner, that's it)

His surprising reply was..

THEN HOW DO YOU HAVE FUN?

I swear I could have beat him up with my laptop, but it is my company's hardware. That was the only thing that prevented the event. LOL.

Well you can tell the guy you have gone through stuff and feel bad about what you did now, and you want to keep the friendship. Perhaps he accepts to get to know you more.

Crazy4Him

Thanks guys. Just woke up and thankfully I don't think I have a classic hangover. Just a bit of a belly ache. And, yep, I woke up and felt punched in the gut just like I do every morning so it made nothing go away. It's just last night I had some martinis at dinner then two shots at a club. I didn't drink another drop of anything and felt fine for a while then WHAM I stood up to go to the bathroom and could barely walk. It completely snuck up on me and just got worse and worse! I was even having the bartender serve me water so I could get it out of me. Didn't work. I'm still a lil wobbly.

While I was drunk I thought about him and how he treated me all those months, why I let him, who he's with and what he's doing, all things that usually make me feel so sick to think about. But every time I felt... nothing. Then I thought, this is why he doesn't stop. He has to keep boozing to make it go away... and STAY away. I'd rather feel my feelings, however many tears I have to cry. I just don't want to be sad anymore.

I know I'm never drinking that much again.

Lilly Burn

Ooh don't feel bad. I enjoy a drink, always have, sometimes I have too much but only in a fun social way...I can have a glass of wine, then a cup of tea then go to bed. Therein lies the difference, I can even leave one unfinished, therein lies the difference again. Really really, dont beat yourself up about this, we all get so hung up about alcohol because weve lived this awful time with an alcoholic. One of the things I like is that I can now go out and socialise without catastrophy, without wondering what hes doing, done, whether he will fall into cars on the way home, oh the embarrassment, but I refuse to let his problems become mine! Please don't fret, love Lilly