louis

I've gone to start this thread 4 times tonight... but stopped

Here's take 5.....

Im not wanting to drink.... i just feel low.... ive been going through alot just now with therapy and work and uni and life in general...

My old flat mate has let me down.... We lived together for 3yrs... and moved into a new flat 2yrs ago.... i moved out in february because he didnt pay the rent i gave him for 2 months.... andyway that got sorted...

Te estate agents said i could email them i was ending my tenancy and that would work so i did in february... my ex flat mate left the flat 2wks ago and left rent oweing and also the flat in a mess... so they have said because i never signed an end of tenancy agreement i am liable £1000....

They say because they cant find him and can find me they are willing to accept a settlement.... i seeked legal aid and i am liable...

So tonight they accepted if i pay half they will call it quits.... but they are probably not going to get anywhere with him...

I asked for a letter saying if i pay this then i am not liable for the rest which they have agreed to....

I just feel sad and let down.... i thought this guy was my friend and the only thing i can take from this is a lesson well learned.... but it will be a long time before i trust anyone again....

I work hard for my money and now i have to pay someone elses debt as it reflects against me.... i know its self pitying but its not fair.....

I just feel so low and sad..... i really could have done without this....

At least its helping me get some of them emotions i try and hide out... but i cant even get angry

Sorry for this.... i know its not about recovery

lunarise

Louis~

:ghug3

Im sorry you are feeling down. All of life is related to recovery so dont worry about posting whatever you need too!! It can be really hard when someone we trust and care for lets us down. Its perfectly normal to feel sad about that. I guess I would recommend leaving yourself be with how you are feeling and when you think you have "felt" it enough to move on then do so. I wish you the best! Im glad you posted, sometimes just putting it out there can help.

:ghug3

Anna

Hi Louis,

You're right, it's not fair. You sound like you have handleld the situation really well. You got legal help and find out where you stood and then made negotiations. It seems like all you can do is to accept this as a lesson in life, and move on.

barb dwyer

Wow.

I"d be sad (and more than a little angry) about that, as well.

Good for you coming here rather than doing something ..radical.
And for facing it sober.

martha27

there is nothing more hurtful than thinking you know someone and then finding out they have a secret agenda, the deception of this act alone is what hurtful and bewildering. I think thats why people put adultry, fraud, embezzlment etc right up there with some really serious crimes, b/c the perpetrator was able to look at them in the face, while planning or executing a deceit and know the person well enough to know the impact.

Did you flat mate have any other problems going on that maybe you were not aware of drugs? mental illness? job loss? gambling debts?

I am really sorry you were the fall guy.....at least you handled it really well!

louis

Thankyou for your replies

No... he had no other issues accept selfishness... he is the sort who runs away when he gets scared.... and thats what he has done....
Unfortunately he doesnt think about what/who is left behind...
I think thats why i cant get angry because he's a really nice guy other than this... he just doesnt handle his responsibilities very well...
Eventually he will learn though.... i hope he does...

as i said for me its a lesson well learned.... its just left me feeling sad and abit distrustful...

Thankyou for all you guys have said.... i appreciate the time you took to reply.... guess i just need to move on.

be well
louis

SillyBilly

Don't apologise .. and here's a :ghug3 for you. I know you'd probably rather the cash, but sorry I don't know you well enough yet brother or I'd mail you a cheque

Vividserenty is right. It's all about recovery. Post away, vent vent vent!
I'm only new here but I've fallen in love...

Asking for a letter from the agent was a very smart move. Even though you were feeling like crap, you still had the sense to cover your butt. That wouldn't have even crossed my mind.

In Terminator 3 there's a scene where John gets really depressed and starts winging to Arnie about how it's pointless and why him and it's all a waste of time etc. So Arnie grabs him by the neck, lifts him off the ground and starts choking him.

"F*** you, you f***ing machine!" John spits out.
Arnie drops him. I think John asks him why he did it.
"Anger is more useful than despair," he replies.

I love that scene and Arnies final line. I wrote it on a post-it and added it to my wall of inspiring quotes. It's so true, and I use it all the time. I'm just saying it's worked for me, and I won't be offended if anybody wants to challenge me on this here, I love a good debate

Spot on Martha. Nothing more I hate than a deceitful, sneaky, lying son of a b****.

Tazman53

Ah but it is, recovery is all about learning how to live life on lifes terms and staying sober and sane all the while. What you have done is to help some one else see that it is possible to get through a tough spot, how to handle it and move on with life and not drink in the process.

You have shared your experience and strength, thereby giving some one else hope!

Life sober is not entirely a bed of roses, but the thorns we do get are handled easier by remaining sober and dealing with life.