FINALLY a Happy Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 56
FINALLY a Happy Day
Hi everyone!
I went to my first al anon meeting a week ago, and I felt pretty empowered coming out of it. I recognize I've got to make some changes within myself, such as paying attention to what makes me happy, and setting boundaries for what is acceptable and not acceptable.
This weekend was an exercise in self improvement....
Friday night I was invited to a party to celebrate a friends birthday. I argued with myself for a while, then decided not to go. As I lay in bed that night I really began to question why. The conclusion was I decided not to because it would upset my x, and i didn't want to do that because we had been getting along. The other reason was I still don't trust that my x is not drinking, and feel I can deter him if I'm here. ..... DUH (don't worry, I know Im a dip stick)
Saturday I went to a meeting, and talked this out, which really made me feel codependent and insecure. So, to improve in that area, I set a goal for myself. Every day I will do something that is for me, about me, and will make me happy, and it will not matter what the x thinks of it.
So I spent the rest of the weekend going to see those friends that I kept "putting off" in order to avoid a fight. I also went for a 15 mile bike ride for the first time in 2 years! YAY!
It sucks that I've lived for so many years in what I now see was an absolutely destructive environment....It is becoming painfully obvious that I totally forgot who I was in order to take care of him.
This is a great personal victory for me, and I thought I'd share it with you.
I went to my first al anon meeting a week ago, and I felt pretty empowered coming out of it. I recognize I've got to make some changes within myself, such as paying attention to what makes me happy, and setting boundaries for what is acceptable and not acceptable.
This weekend was an exercise in self improvement....
Friday night I was invited to a party to celebrate a friends birthday. I argued with myself for a while, then decided not to go. As I lay in bed that night I really began to question why. The conclusion was I decided not to because it would upset my x, and i didn't want to do that because we had been getting along. The other reason was I still don't trust that my x is not drinking, and feel I can deter him if I'm here. ..... DUH (don't worry, I know Im a dip stick)
Saturday I went to a meeting, and talked this out, which really made me feel codependent and insecure. So, to improve in that area, I set a goal for myself. Every day I will do something that is for me, about me, and will make me happy, and it will not matter what the x thinks of it.
So I spent the rest of the weekend going to see those friends that I kept "putting off" in order to avoid a fight. I also went for a 15 mile bike ride for the first time in 2 years! YAY!
It sucks that I've lived for so many years in what I now see was an absolutely destructive environment....It is becoming painfully obvious that I totally forgot who I was in order to take care of him.
This is a great personal victory for me, and I thought I'd share it with you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Romey, I looked up "ankle problems" in Louise Hay's Heal Your Body and it says
Ankles: Inflexibility and guilt.
Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.
Your healing affirmation is: "I deserve to rejoice in life. I accept all the pleasure life has to offer."
Sounds like a good affirmation to say as you embark on your plan!!!
peace,
b
Ankles: Inflexibility and guilt.
Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.
Your healing affirmation is: "I deserve to rejoice in life. I accept all the pleasure life has to offer."
Sounds like a good affirmation to say as you embark on your plan!!!
peace,
b
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
There is nothing like sucking in that first deep, clean breath of fresh air after being suffocated in a bad relationship for so long.
Im glad you can have happy days. They're wonderful, aren't they?
Im glad you can have happy days. They're wonderful, aren't they?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 56
Yeah that breath of fresh air does wonders for the spirit.
Last night after ball I was cleaning out my desk and came across some old pictures of me, my ex, and some friends. They were taken over 10 years ago and I was stunned at how happy, healthy and young I looked.
My first reaction was "What the H*LL happened to me? Where did I go?" immediately followed by resentment and anger toward HIM. After a brief moment I realized I can't blame him anymore...its MY fault not his. Those pictures showed that there is a part of me that I forgot about....and I am determined to get myself back!
SO since my computer just shot out all those coins, dinner is on me! HAHA!
Last night after ball I was cleaning out my desk and came across some old pictures of me, my ex, and some friends. They were taken over 10 years ago and I was stunned at how happy, healthy and young I looked.
My first reaction was "What the H*LL happened to me? Where did I go?" immediately followed by resentment and anger toward HIM. After a brief moment I realized I can't blame him anymore...its MY fault not his. Those pictures showed that there is a part of me that I forgot about....and I am determined to get myself back!
SO since my computer just shot out all those coins, dinner is on me! HAHA!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 13
Great for taking some steps for yourself. My job will take me away sometimes for a few months at a time. My mom made the comment that when I return I always look refreshed and a usually a few pounds lighter. That is when I realized how much energy I was putting into AH's problems and care instead of looking out for myself.
I have now started biking to work everyday and the kids love riding to school in the trailer behind me. Fresh air for all.
I too would like to steal your daily goal. Great inspiration!! Thanks!
I have now started biking to work everyday and the kids love riding to school in the trailer behind me. Fresh air for all.
I too would like to steal your daily goal. Great inspiration!! Thanks!
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