worthyoflove

A friend of mine for 20 years is an alcoholic. Thank God she found AA and is now sober. Everytime we make plans, she does a no show or no call. I finally decided to walk away from the friendship. The last time she wanted to get together I felt very hesitant about making plans. It's because I don't trust her anymore. I have mulled this over and over in my head. I felt guilty for walking away, but I can't continue being in a relationship with someone who has been untrustworthy. I know I will be accused of being the "bad guy" for ending the friendship, but this is just a lose-lose situation for both of us. She has since left messages for us to get together, but I can't even answer them. I don't wish her any harm. I just can't do it anymore. She has now involved a 3rd person into trying to contact me. I didn't respond to the 3rd person's message because it is none of that person's business. The trust is gone and there is nothing left.

GiveLove

worthy,

Life is too short to waste time on people who disrespect you. And that's what no-shows and no-calls are. Disrespect, plain and simple.

If you value anything about the friendship, you might consider telling her why you don't want to make any plans with her any more.

But personally? I know that I would not waste the time (in fact, I didn't) I can't change someone else. Chances are, their self-centeredness doesn't just affect me...it probably affects others in her life too. I just don't like wasting time on people like that. My friend and I had been close for 15 years - and it felt bad ending it - but it was the right thing to do. Maybe it is for you as well.

We grow. Sometimes they don't.

catlovermi

She EARNED that mistrust.

There is no reason to feel guilt about making a decision in your own best interest. You aren't hurting her; she is just having the results (consequences) of her own behavior, which was disrespectful to you.

CLMI