9Iron

Yesterday after much reflection I made the decision that there is so much stress in my life and because it was Friday and my wife and kids were going to be gone most of the evening I was going to treat myself to a few drinks. It was such a great experience that I ended up vomiting on and over my back deck. This morning I feel better than ever, my head aches, my thought process is fuzzy, and I'm just a bit nauseous. On top of that, I must have been having so much fun I barely remember going to bed. This is what they call enjoying some adult beverages! Wow, this drinking thing is something that I miss terribly!

So, after nearly 4 weeks here I am again. I'm not going to term this Day 1. I'm going to term this Day 1 Part Deux. I think this was inevitable. I was in mourning over my past lifestyle. Last night reminded me of how much "fun" it was, all that was missing was a knockdown drag out argument with the wife.

Far be it for me to offer any advise to anyone that might be struggling with their sobriety so let me just make an observation that people can take at face value.

Drinking Sucks!

bstt03

9iron- thank you for posting about your experience. Its when tempation sets that we fail to see how bad drinking made us feel. So next time you are tempted, come back and read this post. Now get back on the wagon and move forward!

FizzyWater

I so used to be the same, I'd love when the wife and kids were away for the weekend cos I could just sit and drink, didn't have to hide it, the vodka bottle could just be on the table instead of hidden away in my jacket pocket or in the ensuite.

Didn't have to sneak it in the house either, could just go and buy it and bring it hime.

Always the "fun" turned sour though, I'd drink much more than usual and it would end with me unable to make work on the monday and the whole weekend a blur.

Think you probably learned something last night, don't beat yourself up about it but do try and make sure you don't repeat, treat it as another step to recovery.

This is possible and you can do it.

ANGELINA243

The illusion that I could ever drink "normally" again had to be smashed before I could recover. I tried it repeatedly off/on...over a period of many years. Sometimes I could--or so that seemed to be the case. But 95% of the time--I was a drunken mess...and often didn't remember things. I was a blackout drinker also. You don't ever have to go through this again--period! Don't ever give up. We do recover.

littlefish

Alcoholic wife raising hand here.
The arguments are gone. That is generally what we did. He: the codie, (he fed into my addiction, THAT is an ugly truth, but truth nonetheless)...me the drunk, and boy did we pass the hours arguing.

I don't want to slam dunk you here, but don't forget your wife may be co-dependent. I didn't think my husband was, but when the sabotaging of my sobriety started, I realized, uh oh, more issues coming up! With a side of fries, thank you.

I think he loved and hated the drunk. (me). When the drunk took an exit, alert, tense lady made an entrance. I can just picture my husband thinking: "Oh my god! Who is that person???!!!"

Wow, we both bought a ticket on a whole new roller coaster ride.

CarolD

I sure hope you plan to scrub/hose down the vomit.

Many of us alcoholics have started over.
Best of luck....

9Iron

Littlefish-

Actually it's more the other way around. My wife is finishing up a 4 week treatment program for alcohol addiction and I am trying to stop drinking more of a result of that. I don't want to be an anchor dragging her back into her old lifestyle. She knows about last night, caught the tail end of it and is not impressed.

Exactly! It really is a different person! It's not the person that I have known for many years so we are getting reacquainted with one another. It's not easy suddenly being married to a person that looks and acts vaguely familiar but is different in so many ways. The changes are good though, just takes some time to get used to.

Anna

Welcome back!

Newtosoberlivin

Don't be too hard on yourself, either. We've all been there I think at one time or another. Get back up on that horse and try, try again!!! We're all here for you!!!

NewBeginning010

Glad you made it back, I had a simular bad/good last experience last time out. What a mess... not worth it. I almost thought about making a video recording of myself being an idiot & then being sick for hours.... should have but probably couldn't figure out how to turn the camera on lol.

Take care & keep coming back.

tommyk

Would the phrase:

"Those who choose to ignore history are destined to repeat it."

Apply in this situation?