breakingfree88

Does anyone have any tips or ideas for what you do when you're SUPER lonely? I'm in a new city and don't know anyone but my roomate. And she's out tonight with her girlfriends. She invited me but I don't have the money to spend. Its just me and my aloof, female cat (I love her but she's not much of a snugglebug) and while it was nice for the first 30000 hours I'm getting really lonely. Trying not to binge eat!!! Oh yes and not call the ex!
Thanks y'all.
Love, Holly

atalose

Keep on with the “NOT CALLING THE EX” !!!!!

Where were your roommate and her friends going tonight? I remember the days when money was so tight I didn’t go anywhere or do anything except obsess about not being anywhere and having no money.

I don’t really drink so when I would be asked to go hang out with friends I started to go. I may have ordered a soda or asked for water but it got me out and out of myself for a while. It was almost as if I had to force myself and I am glad did.

I ended up meeting new people, finding out about new places and things to do so I wasn’t always alone.

We don’t need money to enjoy the company of other people and they actually speak more then a meow here and a meow there!!!! LOL But at times I do prefer hanging out with and talking to my cat……

Abundance

Watch a movie..... take a bath...... or just go to bed - but first ... figure out what your plans will be this weekend/tomorrow.

Make a list of all the things that you can/want to do.

This will pass..... and it's totally okay to be feeling this way.

ItsmeAlice

I think it's time to start doing all the great free activities that cities have to offer. You know, the ones too cool to do when you've lived in a town for a while.

Take a museum, library, garden, ant farm, whatever tour.
Go apple picking, be scrutinizing, take your time, buy only a couple and go home. Cheap, healthy, and fun.
Go to a dress rehearsal at your local community theatre or ballet company. You get to see some pre-opening goofs and gafaws and of course...men in tights. LOL.
Check out the local flea markets. Lots of local characters to watch.
Try out a walking group at the mall. I met some great ladies who knew all the places to go on a budget. They gave me a zest for life because their's was infectious. I also got in good in shape in the meantime.
...and theirs always volunteerism, feels good, costs little, and you meet new people.

Lonliness saps you of all motivation, it's true. I agree with others that sometimes you just have to force yourself out of the house.

Alice

breakingfree88

Thank you all so much! I've got a lot of great ideas. I'm going to start with the library in the morning and check out what else this wonderful city has to offer. I've always lived in the middle of nowhere but I forget there are things to do...just got to force myself to find them.
I love you all!
-Holly

itisatruth

Good for you! My situation is a bit different - I didn't move but I lost touch with friends because I was hiding my life from them. Now I'm in the process of rebuilding those friendships and it does take work sometimes but it does pay off.

You sound like you are on the right track!

imallright

Hi Holly... this time of year there are tons of outdoor festivals... check one out. Maybe one you would never think to have gone to before. Visit a farmers market... strike up a conversation with the vendors... they love to talk about what they do... trust me on that one... a bit of firsthand knowledge. Go to a nursing home or perhaps the animal shelter to visit. Paint a room. Read a book. Man, for someone (me) who has often been soooooo lonely, I am coming up with a ton of ideas. And last but not least, spend some time here talking with friends.

Have a great day.

cessy68

Hi Holly,

It sucks being 'lonley', but here's a few of my tips, (that have worked for me).

I go to starbucks and 'hang' while drinking a coffee and reading a paper. It's amazeing how many people will 'hang' there and you'll end up talking.

I go to the book store, and meander about the 'self help' section, sit and read -- (you dont even have to buy a book.

I go to a pub/tavern and watch a red sox game, ( wear your favorite baseball teams cap) you will be amazed at how many men will use the "I like your hat" line, to just start up a conversation with you!!!! (p.s.- not suggesting that you are there to pick up men, but it' nice to meet people and just chill out and talk).

And, last but not least. If I were you, I would have gone out with the roomie and friends. If they were out on the town, you don't have to drink (hence spend money) say you have a headache and drink water. Or, you could have one, and just chill with that one drink.

Just get out of the house..... even if it's window shopping at stores. Find what you find entertaining..... and live.

Love,
Cess

outtolunch

What works for me is to get out and volunteer. Assuming you are in or near a major metorpoliitan area, there are tens of thousands of ways to " DO GOOD".

You can go from being bored and loney to not having enough time in the day, in an instant. The best part is that you meet like minded people....the givers, instead of the takers.

Every not-for profit organization and municipality needs volunteers.