Update on my first meeting!
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
Update on my first meeting!
Well, I walked through the doors, and before I even sat down, people were introducing themselves and hugging me. I felt like I was "home" at last! It was a great feeling!
I got my 24-48 hours of sobriety coin, which I happily accepted while smiling widely and even raised my hand to speak! Believe that?? I basically gave a "short" version of my story, the fact that this was about my 3rd, 4th, or 5th, but FINAL time back in the halls of AA, but this time I wasn't leaving. I actually started to cry a little while speaking, but it was good tears (didn't expect to get all emotional like that). Many people later approached me and told me it was "so good to hear your story." Many more hugged me and told me to stick around. What a great group!! I got my big book today too, and also the phone number of another lady who told me to call her anytime! This group meets Monday-Fridays at noon and I plan to be at everyone of them!
A number of other folks spoke as well, many of them "seasoned" members. One of them even spoke of tragically losing his own brother to this disease just DAYS ago. There weren't many dry eyes in the room after his story. But there were a lot of us nodding in agreement that it CAN and WILL kill you eventually.
The proudest moment of my day though? And this will sound weird, probably. I needed to do a grocery shop (one of the bigger ones for the week) as usual. So I did. I promised myself I would replace the usual "Budweiser 20 pack" that I always buy (and that is always gone in less than two days) with a pack of Pepsi instead (the sugar in the Pepsi really does help me with the alcohol cravings for some reason). So I decided to add a 12 pack at the last minute of Busch NON-ALCOHOLIC brew to my cart, along with the Pepsi. Then when I got to checkout, after mentally anguishing about it, I pulled it out and left it off the conveyer just as quickly. You know why? I know exactly where it will lead. It doesn't matter if it's labeled "non-alcoholic." it still contains traces of alcohol, number one, number two, it's packaged just like a 12 pack of beer, looks like it, smells like it, and tastes (almost) like it. Will that help me with the cravings, especially this early on in recovery? NO WAY!!! If anything, it will make them WORSE! And know what happens after that? That stinkin thinkin....oh, maybe one REAL one couldn't hurt....OH YES IT COULD, IT COULD DEMOLISH MY CHANCES OF EVER LICKING THIS THING!!!! And deep in my heart and soul, I KNOW it!! HUGE victory for me, it felt great to walk out of there with my little 12 pack of Pepsi and leave it at that!!! So I'm very happy that this time around, I'm not fooling myself with warped thinking again! The only person I'd be lying to by trying to justify it is ME! Then the cycle would begin all over again. No thanks!!!
Instead, I've got some ice-cold Pepsi, and a wealth of HEALTHY information to read about and absorb, and put into action.
I got my 24-48 hours of sobriety coin, which I happily accepted while smiling widely and even raised my hand to speak! Believe that?? I basically gave a "short" version of my story, the fact that this was about my 3rd, 4th, or 5th, but FINAL time back in the halls of AA, but this time I wasn't leaving. I actually started to cry a little while speaking, but it was good tears (didn't expect to get all emotional like that). Many people later approached me and told me it was "so good to hear your story." Many more hugged me and told me to stick around. What a great group!! I got my big book today too, and also the phone number of another lady who told me to call her anytime! This group meets Monday-Fridays at noon and I plan to be at everyone of them!
A number of other folks spoke as well, many of them "seasoned" members. One of them even spoke of tragically losing his own brother to this disease just DAYS ago. There weren't many dry eyes in the room after his story. But there were a lot of us nodding in agreement that it CAN and WILL kill you eventually.
The proudest moment of my day though? And this will sound weird, probably. I needed to do a grocery shop (one of the bigger ones for the week) as usual. So I did. I promised myself I would replace the usual "Budweiser 20 pack" that I always buy (and that is always gone in less than two days) with a pack of Pepsi instead (the sugar in the Pepsi really does help me with the alcohol cravings for some reason). So I decided to add a 12 pack at the last minute of Busch NON-ALCOHOLIC brew to my cart, along with the Pepsi. Then when I got to checkout, after mentally anguishing about it, I pulled it out and left it off the conveyer just as quickly. You know why? I know exactly where it will lead. It doesn't matter if it's labeled "non-alcoholic." it still contains traces of alcohol, number one, number two, it's packaged just like a 12 pack of beer, looks like it, smells like it, and tastes (almost) like it. Will that help me with the cravings, especially this early on in recovery? NO WAY!!! If anything, it will make them WORSE! And know what happens after that? That stinkin thinkin....oh, maybe one REAL one couldn't hurt....OH YES IT COULD, IT COULD DEMOLISH MY CHANCES OF EVER LICKING THIS THING!!!! And deep in my heart and soul, I KNOW it!! HUGE victory for me, it felt great to walk out of there with my little 12 pack of Pepsi and leave it at that!!! So I'm very happy that this time around, I'm not fooling myself with warped thinking again! The only person I'd be lying to by trying to justify it is ME! Then the cycle would begin all over again. No thanks!!!
Instead, I've got some ice-cold Pepsi, and a wealth of HEALTHY information to read about and absorb, and put into action.
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
TY to all of you....
these boards are wonderful, and know what? I have a feeling that like so many others, AA will save my life, I only have to do MY part, and work it, i.e. get a regular sponsor, read the Big Book, work the 12 steps, etc.. Like they say, "it works if YOU work it!" And just an observation, there were only two of us in the room who had 24-48 hours of sobriety (the other gentleman, like me, was also returning to AA after being in before several times). The rest had well over one year or many, many more years than that! If that's not a testament that it WORKS, I don't know what is!!
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Thanks Newtobe, I just read your post and you made me smile. I too remember walking into the rooms of AA and breathing a sigh of relief, home yes I was home. It felt really good. Welcome 
and keep posting. Sobriety does Rock!!!
and keep posting. Sobriety does Rock!!!
.........for sharing that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: S East, Pa
Posts: 41
Thank for sharing your experience. I to just returned from my first return meeting after three years away. It was amazing how comfortable it was. I was also surprised by tears of relief and calming emotion as the speaker shared her story. Really nice group. I got some phone numbers and offers of books and literature, but I had saved all that in a box which I dug out and started back to reading a couple of days ago. Congrats on your meeting, keep comin' back.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: On my way
Posts: 173
it feels good when you are in control and you have the strenght to not give in!! all the times i've denied alcohol, felt so good--but this time i'm trying not to forget how bad it feels when i finally do give in and have to start over. Congrats on a positive meeting and outcome to your shopping
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
thank you for posting about your first meeting experience.
We never know who is reading these threads,
looking for the nerve to attend their first meeting.
You may well have already helped someone stay sober tonight.
wooHOO!
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