New to this, new here
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
New to this, new here
hi to everyone, I am a 41 year old female and new to these boards. Last night was a turning point of sorts for me. I took my 9 year old daughter with me to my parents house around midnight after a horrible fight with my husband (we've had a lot of those lately, always after my drinking all day long). I have gotten up to a 12 pack or MORE of beer per day, by myself. This pattern has been going on for months and months, at least since January of this past year, when I became unemployed (I am collecting unemployment currently). But it's been longer than that, just never this much!! I have had a problem with drinking since my early teens, I've been in and out of AA and counseling for years and years.
Until now. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder nearly two years ago and am being actively treated for that with maintenance meds daily. Nearly all of them specify that they should NOT be taken with alcohol, yet I've continued to drink anyway.
I am also newly married, barely two years (since Dec. 2007) to a good man, who has two children, that I am stepmom to. They live with mother one town over, (my daughter lives with us full time), but we see them several times per week and have them overnight every other weekend. Sadly all of them have seen me in various stages of drunk rages, throwing things, screaming at the top of my lungs, slamming doors, breaking things, etc. Sadly, so has my husband, my rage and fury is typically directed all his way. Naturally he retaliates, usually in an equally cruel manner, and that only proceeds to make things that much worse, and we end up sleeping separately, or, on nights like last night, I will just up and leave the house in disgust.
I drove myself and my daughter to my parents house last night, just to get away from him, because quite frankly, even though I started the fight with him, I was so angry I was ready to smack his face or worse. He can get VERY nasty back to me and sarcastic, understandably, I suppose, but while it's happening it isn't pretty or appreciated. My parents are worried sick about me, as is my husband, as I have put them through this scenario way too many times in the past. It is time for it to just stop. I am not one of those people who can drink responsibly, or control it. I ALWAYS drink to get drunk, always have and it's time to stop kidding myself that I don't have a problem. I do and have always had a HUGE drinking problem, and I have damaged and/or lost MANY platonic and romantic relationships over it, and have caused my parents and my brother (older) much pain, as well as my daughter.
My parents are now in their 60's they don't need or deserve this crap. Neither does my husband. The man loves me dearly, if he didn't, trust me, he would have left me long ago with all that I have put him through and the rotten things I have said to him, and done to him. I love him just as much, which makes it all the more frustrating the way that I get when I drink. I turn into an inhuman monster, truly. My entire personality is downright cruel and vile, and that is so polar opposite of the regular "me." I am normally so loving, caring and giving. No so much when I drink, to say the least. When I'm drunk, I'm rotten, narcisstic, self-centered, judgemental, cruel, taunting and almost get a sick satisfaction of being mean to others. It's this crazy and sick merry go round and I want off of it already.
I know it won't be easy, I'm not kidding myself about that. At first I tried to tell myself that I won't drink at all during the week, (yeah right!), only on special occasions or weekends. I was almost convinced I could actually control things that way! Then it slowly but surely started to get back to the same old crapola. I knew it would, to be honest. It always does. I crave it, truthfully. I hate myself for admitting that, but I do.
Anyhow, here I am, grateful to have found these great boards, on Day #1 toward a new life, I hope! And planning on going back to AA and hopefully getting myself a sponsor. I do have a regular counselor and psychiatrist that I see regularly for my bipolar, who both know that I drink, but I haven't been honest with either of them about how much. I've been too ashamed, but I need to come clean with them if I truly want to change my life for the better. Thanks for reading.
Until now. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder nearly two years ago and am being actively treated for that with maintenance meds daily. Nearly all of them specify that they should NOT be taken with alcohol, yet I've continued to drink anyway.
I am also newly married, barely two years (since Dec. 2007) to a good man, who has two children, that I am stepmom to. They live with mother one town over, (my daughter lives with us full time), but we see them several times per week and have them overnight every other weekend. Sadly all of them have seen me in various stages of drunk rages, throwing things, screaming at the top of my lungs, slamming doors, breaking things, etc. Sadly, so has my husband, my rage and fury is typically directed all his way. Naturally he retaliates, usually in an equally cruel manner, and that only proceeds to make things that much worse, and we end up sleeping separately, or, on nights like last night, I will just up and leave the house in disgust.
I drove myself and my daughter to my parents house last night, just to get away from him, because quite frankly, even though I started the fight with him, I was so angry I was ready to smack his face or worse. He can get VERY nasty back to me and sarcastic, understandably, I suppose, but while it's happening it isn't pretty or appreciated. My parents are worried sick about me, as is my husband, as I have put them through this scenario way too many times in the past. It is time for it to just stop. I am not one of those people who can drink responsibly, or control it. I ALWAYS drink to get drunk, always have and it's time to stop kidding myself that I don't have a problem. I do and have always had a HUGE drinking problem, and I have damaged and/or lost MANY platonic and romantic relationships over it, and have caused my parents and my brother (older) much pain, as well as my daughter.
My parents are now in their 60's they don't need or deserve this crap. Neither does my husband. The man loves me dearly, if he didn't, trust me, he would have left me long ago with all that I have put him through and the rotten things I have said to him, and done to him. I love him just as much, which makes it all the more frustrating the way that I get when I drink. I turn into an inhuman monster, truly. My entire personality is downright cruel and vile, and that is so polar opposite of the regular "me." I am normally so loving, caring and giving. No so much when I drink, to say the least. When I'm drunk, I'm rotten, narcisstic, self-centered, judgemental, cruel, taunting and almost get a sick satisfaction of being mean to others. It's this crazy and sick merry go round and I want off of it already.
I know it won't be easy, I'm not kidding myself about that. At first I tried to tell myself that I won't drink at all during the week, (yeah right!), only on special occasions or weekends. I was almost convinced I could actually control things that way! Then it slowly but surely started to get back to the same old crapola. I knew it would, to be honest. It always does. I crave it, truthfully. I hate myself for admitting that, but I do.
Anyhow, here I am, grateful to have found these great boards, on Day #1 toward a new life, I hope! And planning on going back to AA and hopefully getting myself a sponsor. I do have a regular counselor and psychiatrist that I see regularly for my bipolar, who both know that I drink, but I haven't been honest with either of them about how much. I've been too ashamed, but I need to come clean with them if I truly want to change my life for the better. Thanks for reading.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,894
Welcome to SR! You have found a wonderful place full of great people and much support. Please read the stickies at the top of the forum for much valuable information. There will be more people along to welcome you to the board but I wanted to let you know that I understand your situation and am so sorry that the children have to witness so much anger. It especially concerns me that you drove with your 9 year old daughter in the car after you had consumed so much alcohol. What if something terrible had happened and she was hurt, or worse. Would you ever be able to forgive yourself? You can start today, right this moment to live a sober life. The choice is yours.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Ok I have to say Ditto to what suki said about the driving with the kiddo thing, that's horrible, and I hope hope hope you never do that again, if anything else.
Children are the most innocent victims when it comes to drug and alcohol abuse, I know that first had from growing up in an alcoholic home. I am really glad that you are deciding to make a change now, it will impact their lives greatly, as well as your marriage.
I also wondered how my husband stayed with me through my sloppy drunken nights, the hidden bottles, the trip to the ER. I asked my counselor that once, after a few months of sobriety, once I crawled out of myself and was able to take a look at the damage around me. He said to me that my husband must have held on to hope.. That had to have been it, and I'm blessed that he did hold on, as are you that your marriage is still viable.
It sounds like you know what the first steps are for you, I'm glad that you've got some support. I encourage you to be brutally honest with both of the therapists, and with your husband, about the severity of your dependency. I think it's probably also important to tell your husband that you are committing to never drink again. (are you?). I know I would say I 'am not going to drink for a while' etc.. it was just me bargaining with addiction. Crazythinking. I know once I was completely committed to sobriety, that telling the most important people in my life exactly what had being going on, and what my plan was.. it gave it a little more reality, made it hold a bit more weight. It sure released me from a lot of things that I was harboring, things that kept me drunk for a long time.
Only you know what to do here, and when you don't you have us, you have AA, you have your counselors, and you have your family.
I wish you the best in this, and I hope that you are willing to now put as much effort into your sobriety as you have into your drinking. You'll be amazed at how wonderful your life can be.
Children are the most innocent victims when it comes to drug and alcohol abuse, I know that first had from growing up in an alcoholic home. I am really glad that you are deciding to make a change now, it will impact their lives greatly, as well as your marriage.
I also wondered how my husband stayed with me through my sloppy drunken nights, the hidden bottles, the trip to the ER. I asked my counselor that once, after a few months of sobriety, once I crawled out of myself and was able to take a look at the damage around me. He said to me that my husband must have held on to hope.. That had to have been it, and I'm blessed that he did hold on, as are you that your marriage is still viable.
It sounds like you know what the first steps are for you, I'm glad that you've got some support. I encourage you to be brutally honest with both of the therapists, and with your husband, about the severity of your dependency. I think it's probably also important to tell your husband that you are committing to never drink again. (are you?). I know I would say I 'am not going to drink for a while' etc.. it was just me bargaining with addiction. Crazythinking. I know once I was completely committed to sobriety, that telling the most important people in my life exactly what had being going on, and what my plan was.. it gave it a little more reality, made it hold a bit more weight. It sure released me from a lot of things that I was harboring, things that kept me drunk for a long time.
Only you know what to do here, and when you don't you have us, you have AA, you have your counselors, and you have your family.
I wish you the best in this, and I hope that you are willing to now put as much effort into your sobriety as you have into your drinking. You'll be amazed at how wonderful your life can be.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
Welcome to SR. There is so much support on here. You should head on over to the Class of June, we were just discussing our drinking habits today and every one of us did the same as you...drink till we're drunk...no stopping us...the vicious circle goes on and on. We can all help each other.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
Welcome NewToSoberLivin!!!
You have stumbled upon an amazing forum with some wonderful people =) Some will tell it as they see it so be forewarned but it all comes from a good place and let's face it...sometimes we need to hear what our families or friends won't say and it means so much more when it comes from someone who is living or has lived it, well to me at least =)...anyway, come on over to the Class of June thread and join us =)
Thanks so much for posting your story and sharing a piece of yourself with us....
~Jade19
You have stumbled upon an amazing forum with some wonderful people =) Some will tell it as they see it so be forewarned but it all comes from a good place and let's face it...sometimes we need to hear what our families or friends won't say and it means so much more when it comes from someone who is living or has lived it, well to me at least =)...anyway, come on over to the Class of June thread and join us =)
Thanks so much for posting your story and sharing a piece of yourself with us....
~Jade19
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 602
Welcome to SR and thank your for sharing your story.
You came to the right place, I'm glad you found us.
Lots of support here...
Keep reading and posting, we will do our best to help you.
Hugs,
XOXO
As Eclipse and Jade19 said....Come and join the Class of June (if you feel like it, your welcome anytime)
You came to the right place, I'm glad you found us.
Lots of support here...
Keep reading and posting, we will do our best to help you.
Hugs,
XOXO
As Eclipse and Jade19 said....Come and join the Class of June (if you feel like it, your welcome anytime)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Hi Newto, As everyone has said, you've come to the right place. It seems as if your life isn't going too well right now. You're alienating or frightening all those near and dear to you, and this has to stop. But quitting drinking isn't easy sometimes, and staying sober is even more difficult. But don't get too discouraged. It can be done.
The first thing I'd recommend is seeing your Primary Care Doctor and lay your cards on the table. He or she must know what's going on. You're going to have to go through detox, and that may or mat be a harrowing experience. It's best done under medical supervision and may have to be done on an inpatient basis. Don't worry, it only lasts a few days. Once you've detoxed (and please don't try the "weaning off" that so many folks try and are unsuccessful at it. You have several options. The best is going into a residential treatment program but for insurance purposes that may not be possible.
Another step is returning to AA, but this time with a serious commitment to make the program work. It's a good program thay helps a lot of people. It saved my life....Flutter and a lot of others will back me up here. But remember, half measures avail us nothing. You need a total commitment to be successful. Let your therapist and psychiatrist know the full story. Their job is to help you and if they're going to be successful they have to know the whole truth. Be grateful that you have a loving and supporting husband. AA's are usually adept at destroying those aroung them. He must be quite a guy. You have an opportunity to make a new life for yourself and your family, but the opportunity won't last forever.
I was once married to a woman like you. Bi-polar disorder is a hard thing to deal with, and it's even worse when you drink. Strop the insanity while you can. And I wish you the best of luck. You can do it,
The first thing I'd recommend is seeing your Primary Care Doctor and lay your cards on the table. He or she must know what's going on. You're going to have to go through detox, and that may or mat be a harrowing experience. It's best done under medical supervision and may have to be done on an inpatient basis. Don't worry, it only lasts a few days. Once you've detoxed (and please don't try the "weaning off" that so many folks try and are unsuccessful at it. You have several options. The best is going into a residential treatment program but for insurance purposes that may not be possible.
Another step is returning to AA, but this time with a serious commitment to make the program work. It's a good program thay helps a lot of people. It saved my life....Flutter and a lot of others will back me up here. But remember, half measures avail us nothing. You need a total commitment to be successful. Let your therapist and psychiatrist know the full story. Their job is to help you and if they're going to be successful they have to know the whole truth. Be grateful that you have a loving and supporting husband. AA's are usually adept at destroying those aroung them. He must be quite a guy. You have an opportunity to make a new life for yourself and your family, but the opportunity won't last forever.
I was once married to a woman like you. Bi-polar disorder is a hard thing to deal with, and it's even worse when you drink. Strop the insanity while you can. And I wish you the best of luck. You can do it,
13 May 2009
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 83
since my sobriety my relationship with my six year old daughter has been wonderful, full of riches I never imagined, I have also started to trust myself again and feel confidence again, and guess what? my medication for bipolar has started to work as it should do, make sure you tell your doctor what you are doing it is really important for your meds, and they can actually help you 
,
,
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Welcome!! You have found a good safe place. I am 40 and have battled marajuana and alcohol addiction for more than 20 years. Well, probably only battled it for the last 10 or so actually!! It has cost me my wife, the ability to see my 8 year old son on a daily basis for the last 5 years, jobs, and almost my life through a suicide attempt.
I too have been in and out of the rooms, and in and out of SR as well. I can tell you that I have always been welcomed back here with open arms everytime I have left and come back. My latest absence was well over a year (I just came back last night) and I have already received notes of encouragement from many that I knew from before and complete strangers. I'm sure you will find the same thing with AA as well.
Today is day 2 for me. Can't say as I'm an expert on recovery, but I do know a thing or two about relapse!! You gotta force yourself to reach out and ask for help. This is the hardest thing for me, but I know I gotta do it. The folks here are great, and I'm sure you know if you identify yourself as newly sober at a meeting you will have a list of people to call given to you before you leave the place. It's up to you to call them though. That's the step I never take. I'm going to really work to change that this time.
Again, welcome, stick around, and explore the site. There is a great selection of forums available, so if you don't like the "feel" of one, there are dozens more to try. Take care. Stick and stay.
I too have been in and out of the rooms, and in and out of SR as well. I can tell you that I have always been welcomed back here with open arms everytime I have left and come back. My latest absence was well over a year (I just came back last night) and I have already received notes of encouragement from many that I knew from before and complete strangers. I'm sure you will find the same thing with AA as well.
Today is day 2 for me. Can't say as I'm an expert on recovery, but I do know a thing or two about relapse!! You gotta force yourself to reach out and ask for help. This is the hardest thing for me, but I know I gotta do it. The folks here are great, and I'm sure you know if you identify yourself as newly sober at a meeting you will have a list of people to call given to you before you leave the place. It's up to you to call them though. That's the step I never take. I'm going to really work to change that this time.
Again, welcome, stick around, and explore the site. There is a great selection of forums available, so if you don't like the "feel" of one, there are dozens more to try. Take care. Stick and stay.
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
Good morning to you all!
And thank you so much for the warm welcome, I know I have found a great group of people!! And I can take bluntness, in fact, I welcome it, I need a kick in the arse, but need to kick myself the hardest!!! I do plan to call my doc (PCP) this morning and make an appt. to get in and tell all asap, and I am also attending a local AA meeting at noon. There are SO many in my area, there is no excuse to not go, I certainly have the time to!! No more excuses, no more crutches, no more "oh poor little me" it's old, it's sickening, and it's selfish (childish also comes to mind).
I do have a wonderful and very patient husband, and it's time to return all the patience, love and understanding that he has shown me throughout our relationship. Even though I am in the very beginnings of sobriety (and YES, this time it's for real, I am determined I am not drinking again, EVER, but one day and one hour, one minute at a time), I know this is the right way. No, it won't be easy, but neither has my bipolar condition. I was thinking all day yesterday of how foolish am I for mixing alcohol with bipolar meds? How can I expect them to work correctly?? Duh!!! It's also dangerous to do that, and how selfish am I being to my husband, our children and my family by taking a stupid risk like that??
Last night as I was putting our daughters to bed, we were tackling each other, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to turn my head away from them so they wouldn't smell booze on my breath. I actually was thinking to myself as we were all giggling and tickling each other, man, everyday going forward could be this way, how great!!! They were pig piling on me, giggling their little heads off, and I couldn't have been happier!! I literally had tears in my eyes when I walked out of their room!
Thank you to all of you, I am so looking forward to working together to help each other, you are a great group of people!!!
I do have a wonderful and very patient husband, and it's time to return all the patience, love and understanding that he has shown me throughout our relationship. Even though I am in the very beginnings of sobriety (and YES, this time it's for real, I am determined I am not drinking again, EVER, but one day and one hour, one minute at a time), I know this is the right way. No, it won't be easy, but neither has my bipolar condition. I was thinking all day yesterday of how foolish am I for mixing alcohol with bipolar meds? How can I expect them to work correctly?? Duh!!! It's also dangerous to do that, and how selfish am I being to my husband, our children and my family by taking a stupid risk like that??
Last night as I was putting our daughters to bed, we were tackling each other, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to turn my head away from them so they wouldn't smell booze on my breath. I actually was thinking to myself as we were all giggling and tickling each other, man, everyday going forward could be this way, how great!!! They were pig piling on me, giggling their little heads off, and I couldn't have been happier!! I literally had tears in my eyes when I walked out of their room!
Thank you to all of you, I am so looking forward to working together to help each other, you are a great group of people!!!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR NewToSoberLivin, it sounds as though you have a good solid plan.
I will tell you what my conselor in detox told me was one of the keys in early sobriety.
"Spend as much time EVERY day on recovery as you did drinking!"
He also told me to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. I did both of those. My sponsor and folks in AA with long term sobriety told me if I wanted a chance at long term sobriety to take the steps with a sponsor and also apply the steps to all areas of my life.
HONESTY!!!!!! The truth will set you FREE!!!!
See your doctor ASAP and come clean with your doctor, tell him how much you drink, how long you have drank for, and what happens to you when you drink. Listen to him! If he says you need to be medically detoxed.... Do it, detox from alcohol does kill some folks. Your doctor may suggest you do a home detox, if he does go to AA meetings while you are detoxing often, every single sober person has probably gone through detox at one level or another.
When you go to that meeting today, get phone numbers of LADIES there and CALL them, I was told by my sponsor early on to call at least 3 people every day in AA even if it is just to say "Hi, how you doing today?". Doing that saved me from relapsing, you see I had become friends with some of the men I was calling and had also become comfortable calling people and just talking.
Keep in mind the acronym HOW.
Honest- Be brutally honest with yourself and honest in a polite way with others.
Open minded- Keep an open mind to ALL things suggested to you.
Willing- Be willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober and willing to follow suggestions.
You spoke of the joy of playing with your children, that brought a tear to my eye, my youngest were 14 when I sobered up, I hurt them a great deal over the years while I was drinking, but they have forgiven me, today they love me and respect me.
Several months ago one of them (now 17) told me "Dad I love you.", I replied "I love you too hon", she replied "No dad, you don't understand, I REALLY love you!", I said "I know you do hon." She continued on to tell me that since I had gotten sober she brags to her friends about me and that her friends tell them they would like to have a dad like me!
Wow!!! Talk about the promises coming true!!! In a little less then 3 years in my childrens eyes I have gone from an embarrassing scary drunk father to how they view me today.
It is worth all of the struggles of early recovery. Please do not drag your feet, get a temporary sponsor ASAP, get busy with you sponsor taking the steps, and know that it will get better and the promises do come true, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but they will always come true if we work for them.
I will tell you what my conselor in detox told me was one of the keys in early sobriety.
"Spend as much time EVERY day on recovery as you did drinking!"
He also told me to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor. I did both of those. My sponsor and folks in AA with long term sobriety told me if I wanted a chance at long term sobriety to take the steps with a sponsor and also apply the steps to all areas of my life.
HONESTY!!!!!! The truth will set you FREE!!!!
See your doctor ASAP and come clean with your doctor, tell him how much you drink, how long you have drank for, and what happens to you when you drink. Listen to him! If he says you need to be medically detoxed.... Do it, detox from alcohol does kill some folks. Your doctor may suggest you do a home detox, if he does go to AA meetings while you are detoxing often, every single sober person has probably gone through detox at one level or another.
When you go to that meeting today, get phone numbers of LADIES there and CALL them, I was told by my sponsor early on to call at least 3 people every day in AA even if it is just to say "Hi, how you doing today?". Doing that saved me from relapsing, you see I had become friends with some of the men I was calling and had also become comfortable calling people and just talking.
Keep in mind the acronym HOW.
Honest- Be brutally honest with yourself and honest in a polite way with others.
Open minded- Keep an open mind to ALL things suggested to you.
Willing- Be willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober and willing to follow suggestions.
You spoke of the joy of playing with your children, that brought a tear to my eye, my youngest were 14 when I sobered up, I hurt them a great deal over the years while I was drinking, but they have forgiven me, today they love me and respect me.
Several months ago one of them (now 17) told me "Dad I love you.", I replied "I love you too hon", she replied "No dad, you don't understand, I REALLY love you!", I said "I know you do hon." She continued on to tell me that since I had gotten sober she brags to her friends about me and that her friends tell them they would like to have a dad like me!
Wow!!! Talk about the promises coming true!!! In a little less then 3 years in my childrens eyes I have gone from an embarrassing scary drunk father to how they view me today.
It is worth all of the struggles of early recovery. Please do not drag your feet, get a temporary sponsor ASAP, get busy with you sponsor taking the steps, and know that it will get better and the promises do come true, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but they will always come true if we work for them.
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
TY Tazman
your post made me cry (in a good way, good tears are healing!!). Boy, our children are precious gifts, aren't they? And they look up to us so much, in everyway. It feels good to hear them laugh (there's no better music, IMHO), and I can't not smile to hear that. They make our house a "home."
And I will take your advice and identify myself as a new member today. I'm a little anxious, but I'm not exactly a "shy" person at all. I've never taken a drink to give myself "false" courage (you can ask my hubby that, I strike up conversations with anyone, anywhere, all the time!). I have always continued drinking to get DRUNK, and for no other reason than that.
But today is Day #2, and I'm feeling good and positive. I am in the midst of applying for a job in my field, and it's looking very promising right about now, so my fingers are crossed about that. But I still do plan to contact my pcp, as I know it's important to do that and let him/her make the determination regarding detox.
Thank you again and WTG on your own sobriety!!! That's so wonderful and keep up the great work!!!
And I will take your advice and identify myself as a new member today. I'm a little anxious, but I'm not exactly a "shy" person at all. I've never taken a drink to give myself "false" courage (you can ask my hubby that, I strike up conversations with anyone, anywhere, all the time!). I have always continued drinking to get DRUNK, and for no other reason than that.
But today is Day #2, and I'm feeling good and positive. I am in the midst of applying for a job in my field, and it's looking very promising right about now, so my fingers are crossed about that. But I still do plan to contact my pcp, as I know it's important to do that and let him/her make the determination regarding detox.
Thank you again and WTG on your own sobriety!!! That's so wonderful and keep up the great work!!!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Dallas, TX
Posts: 17
Thank you for posting, I can totally relate to some of the things you've said. I'm one of the meanest and craziest people while drunk...and I can't count how many times I've woken up with bruises and cuts from a night of people trying to restrain me. No idea why I get so violent...its just how alcohol effects me I guess. This is only my 7th day sober, so I don't have much advice for you...but I do want to say that I'm very happy that I've finally made a choice to stop... And I hope that you do to? I know that for me, I couldn't live with myself if I ended up seriously hurting someone while I was drunk. I hope you stick around...
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: California
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by tyler 
You gotta force yourself to reach out and ask for help. This is the hardest thing for me, but I know I gotta do it. The folks here are great, and I'm sure you know if you identify yourself as newly sober at a meeting you will have a list of people to call given to you before you leave the place. It's up to you to call them though. That's the step I never take. I'm going to really work to change that this time.
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
Lostsocks and CAYLYNN
Lostsocks, good work on 7 days sober, that's awesome and keep it up!! I hope to see you more on here also!!! We CAN do this!!!
CAYLYNN, in the past, I was also reluctant to make that first call to a sponsor. So I never did. But I have done a LOT of thinking these past couple of days. And I am determined to make that call/those calls this time around. The thing that might make it a bit easier for you is to picture the looks on the faces of your loved ones before you make the call. Picture yourself when you have been down and crying, thinking you could never make it out the "hole" that drinking can become for people like us. Others DO care about you, and they mean it when they say to call them anytime. Many have been where we are before and they understand. Don't be shy or afraid, I'm certain this woman would be thrilled to hear from you and that you are doing well!!! The program is all about helping others!! Keep your chin up hon, we can do this! Do it for yourself and only yourself first and foremost, you are worth it!!!
CAYLYNN, in the past, I was also reluctant to make that first call to a sponsor. So I never did. But I have done a LOT of thinking these past couple of days. And I am determined to make that call/those calls this time around. The thing that might make it a bit easier for you is to picture the looks on the faces of your loved ones before you make the call. Picture yourself when you have been down and crying, thinking you could never make it out the "hole" that drinking can become for people like us. Others DO care about you, and they mean it when they say to call them anytime. Many have been where we are before and they understand. Don't be shy or afraid, I'm certain this woman would be thrilled to hear from you and that you are doing well!!! The program is all about helping others!! Keep your chin up hon, we can do this! Do it for yourself and only yourself first and foremost, you are worth it!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: California
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by Newtosoberlivin
Lostsocks, good work on 7 days sober, that's awesome and keep it up!! I hope to see you more on here also!!! We CAN do this!!!
CAYLYNN, in the past, I was also reluctant to make that first call to a sponsor. So I never did. But I have done a LOT of thinking these past couple of days. And I am determined to make that call/those calls this time around. The thing that might make it a bit easier for you is to picture the looks on the faces of your loved ones before you make the call. Picture yourself when you have been down and crying, thinking you could never make it out the "hole" that drinking can become for people like us. Others DO care about you, and they mean it when they say to call them anytime. Many have been where we are before and they understand. Don't be shy or afraid, I'm certain this woman would be thrilled to hear from you and that you are doing well!!! The program is all about helping others!! Keep your chin up hon, we can do this! Do it for yourself and only yourself first and foremost, you are worth it!!!
CAYLYNN, in the past, I was also reluctant to make that first call to a sponsor. So I never did. But I have done a LOT of thinking these past couple of days. And I am determined to make that call/those calls this time around. The thing that might make it a bit easier for you is to picture the looks on the faces of your loved ones before you make the call. Picture yourself when you have been down and crying, thinking you could never make it out the "hole" that drinking can become for people like us. Others DO care about you, and they mean it when they say to call them anytime. Many have been where we are before and they understand. Don't be shy or afraid, I'm certain this woman would be thrilled to hear from you and that you are doing well!!! The program is all about helping others!! Keep your chin up hon, we can do this! Do it for yourself and only yourself first and foremost, you are worth it!!!
c
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Calynn just going to that meeting was reaching out for help.
One thing I would suggest to keep in mind just before you go to your next meeting is that EVERY single person you see there remembers VIVIDLY walking into thier first meeting, they know all the fears of the great unkown, they know how hard it is to ask some one for help, they have been there and done that!!!
Look at those people now............ do you want what they have? Here is an idea, next meeting you go to show up about 15-20 minutes early, there will be someone there setting up the meeting, walk in the door and ask them if YOU can help them!!!!
I can tell you right now that they will not say no, they will say "Sure thing". You have just opened the door and instead of asking for help you have offered help! Trust me, just talking to folks before and after meetings will help you and beleive it or not, you are helping every single person in that meeting stay sober!
One of the main reasons AA works is that from the moment it started it was and remains so "One alcoholic helping another alcoholic."
An alcoholic understands another alcoholic far more then any non-alcoholic will ever dream of. AA is not an "I" program, it is a "WE" program!
"I" can not stay sober alone, but "WE" can stay sober together!
One thing I would suggest to keep in mind just before you go to your next meeting is that EVERY single person you see there remembers VIVIDLY walking into thier first meeting, they know all the fears of the great unkown, they know how hard it is to ask some one for help, they have been there and done that!!!
Look at those people now............ do you want what they have? Here is an idea, next meeting you go to show up about 15-20 minutes early, there will be someone there setting up the meeting, walk in the door and ask them if YOU can help them!!!!
I can tell you right now that they will not say no, they will say "Sure thing". You have just opened the door and instead of asking for help you have offered help! Trust me, just talking to folks before and after meetings will help you and beleive it or not, you are helping every single person in that meeting stay sober!
One of the main reasons AA works is that from the moment it started it was and remains so "One alcoholic helping another alcoholic."
An alcoholic understands another alcoholic far more then any non-alcoholic will ever dream of. AA is not an "I" program, it is a "WE" program!
"I" can not stay sober alone, but "WE" can stay sober together!
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