whileIwait

My husband is an alcoholic. For about the past year he has been unusually crazy when he drinks. I have wondered if he was using drugs while he was drinking. This past Saturday I noticed he had a buzz around 9:30. By 2:00 am he was still buzzed, wide awake and trying to pick an argument but had not drank anymore. I probably went in the basement 7 times to ask him to turn it down - we do have a 5 year old! Sometimes he wouldn't even acknowledge I was there but was standing right in front of me. I don't know what this is but a buzz doesn't last that long. I wrote him a letter trying to let him know I can't deal with drugs too - of course he says I'm full of it. Does it sound like drugs to you???

BigSis

It does to me... but I've learned I don't know as much as I used to about that sort of thing.


If alcohol makes him stay up and be loud until 2 a.m., that wouldn't be any better, would it?



I used to write my husband letters when he refused to listen to me. I figured that way he would "hear" me. You know what? He started throwing them away... I didn't find out for a while. He just "chose" to not listen (the turd... oops, did I say that out loud? grin).

Anyway. What I WANTED was for him to hear my threats and to change his behavior. He didn't. Sometimes, we would get in big fights and he would agree to change... but he never did, because I never followed through on my threats.

Today, I don't threaten. We have had discussions about stuff, and I have indicated that some things are unacceptable to me. I left once, and when we talked afterward he agreed to make changes. So far, I've not had to leave again. But I am willing to walk away from behavior I find unacceptable. Especially when a baby is being shown those behaviors as "EXAMPLES" of how to be a man or how to be a dad.

I wish you well. ((hugs))

breakingfree88

I don't know...I agree w/ Bigsis. Even if its *just* alcohol, its not really much better.
My dad goes "psycho" when he drinks alcohol. If he gets any into his system, he automatically starts breaking things, yelling at the top of his lungs, threatening to hurt/kill people, and shaking.
He's addicted to Valium and denies it all.
Who knows....

Cranberry1

The sooner you show you aren't going to tolerate the behavior the better. I waited for so long and just now got strong 10 years later. Too long and too much hurt. I didn't want to listen to people but would be so much happier and strong now if I had listened then. You have the right to be happy and your child wants to have at least one happy parent. Do what you would want your child to do in the situation.

bluejay6

Welcome.

My guess is he has added a new drug to his booze. Alcohol is a depressant. Some alcoholics use stimulants to level that out. Coke, etc.

If you are standing in front of him and he seems not to know you are even there because he is so wasted and possibly hallucinating.....then your five year old is embarking on a terrible childhood. Very bad things are going to happen in your home, and as long as you deny they are very bad, as long as you deny that your child is being hurt, as long as you choose to live with an active "unusually crazy" addict who has no intention of changing, then life is going to become more of a nightmare than it is today.

No child should have to live that nightmare.

Addiction is progressive.

Have you sought help of any kind for yourself? Because things will progress and you'll need help.

AlAnon is free. And reading and posting here is free, too.

I hope you make good and wise choices.

BJ

cassandra2

Go with your gut. Its usually always right about things like this. Hard as it may seem to grasp the reality of any addiction is that it will cause you to question yourself and your addict daily. Especially when you stay riding on the train.

imallright

Welcome While... Don't know what's going on, but whatever it is... doesn't sound good. Trust yourself. Take care of you and the little one. Do whatever you need to be strong and decide what you want.

You have made a great start by coming here and starting to question the situation and what you want and need more deeply. Keep coming back. There are many of us who can relate and who are willing to listen and support.

Limiya

Could be a number of drugs but the most common i'm used to seeing is Coke used with Alchohol to give them a buzz and to keep them awake. Problem is their behaviour will become erratic and uncontrollable.
Keep your eye open and check for runny nose or lack of appetite etc.

Good luck,
I hope it isn't drugs.

~Limiya~