backporch

Two weeks ago I was at my wit's end and called in AH's brothers for help. The oldest brother -- who is recovering from a recent illness and has lots of extra time on his hands until he can return to work --- was more than willing to step in. I also knew that in AH's case what a brother says carries alot more weight than a b****y wife.

AH spent a week in hospital detox. The detox was pretty rough for him, and something I don't think he could have survived without medical help. He is still somewhat shaky although that seems to be improving each day. The day before he was released I was so apprehensive about him returning home. For the first time in months, we had a week that even though very busy was peaceful....as peaceful as a household with a 3yr old can be.

He was released Friday afternoon and started a 6 week Intensive Outpatient program Monday. He saw a neurologist yesterday, and she feels that most of the damage he inflicted on himself will reverse itself. He is still shaky/jittering though and she wants him to wait another three weeks before he starts driving again. We are blessed that his brothers have the time and willingness to get him back and forth to IOP. As a family, I feel better than I have felt in months even though I realize AH's focus is on himself and my 7 yr. old seems somewhat ambivalent about his hospitalization and subsequent return. AH's IOP counselor says this is typical behavior since she might feel some "displacement" from her post as the 2nd in command of the household. I also wonder if she's harboring some confusion as to why momma is so mad/indifferent towards daddy one week....but now shows compassion for him as I try to be supportive of his recovery. I will admit I'm confused by my own emotions. I was so repulsed by the drunk I was living with, but when I see his broken, fragile (emotionally and physically) spirit I realize I still do love my AH. I wasn't sure if there was any love left two weeks ago.

Now that the crisis is over (at least temporarily) I would like to collapse. If only there were time for that. LOL. I still am having trouble focusing at work and this house looks like a pit, but I'm committing tomorrow to focus on the task at hand instead of being paralyzed by the realization of what our family is facing. I know the odds for relapse are great. It scares me to think of how we'd cope with that. But I need to focus on today and not my fears of the future. I'll be going to my first Alanon meeting Thursday night since I now have a sober husband to keep the kids. And his IOP has family sessions once a week that I'll be attending also. My heart is heavy. And I cannot tell you how comforting it has been to read the stories and concerns from this board. This place has been so helpful to me. Thanks for being here.

naive

backporch-

you've been thru the wringer. since you've been reading here, you know what might be coming next. i'm glad you can get to alanon for support. i know you realize that since you and brother intervened, that he may not yet have hit his bottom. i know you realize that this is still you trying to control the drinking. we are powerless over alcohol. i don't think our love can heal alcoholicism, unless it is the HP love when requested from the A himself.

Pelican

Peace and hugs to you and the children :ghug3

Let us know how you feel about your first Alanon meeting!