Newbie here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 15
Newbie here!
Hello all I just found this forum today in my search on how to stop using. It seems I have a problem and can't quite get my head around the fact that I can't just stop on my own that I need help. I know I need help but I can't talk to my family they will just tell me that you should have known better seeing as how my mother is a recovering addict. How do you stop cold turkey?? I am not sure I can. I haven't used since yesterday (6-8) morning about 7 am
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Welcome! Glad you are here. 
Some things you shouldn't stop on your own---could be dangerous....may need medical assistance to detox. May want to consult a DR. In the meantime--You will find lots of support here. We do recover. 
Some things you shouldn't stop on your own---could be dangerous....may need medical assistance to detox. May want to consult a DR. In the meantime--You will find lots of support here. We do recover. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 15
I am so afraid of talking to my doctor about this I am so ashamed of what they will tell me or think of me. Oh I think I forgot to tell you all what I was addicted to: oxycodone. I have a job that I can't lose for fear of losing my house I have a husband that I have to take care of most of the time and I just don't have the time (or at least I dont' think) I have the time to go to meetings or check myself into a rehab center. I know excuses excuses. Just kick me out now.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
my mother is a recovering addict
Pumpkin as a recovering alcoholic it is a reward and help for my own sobriety to help another alcoholic recover, but as a parent it is really rare that we have a solution to offer our children such as recovery.
Trust me, it is the drugs telling you not to ask your mom for help, ask her, you will be suprised.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
I do hope you speak to your dr about getting off the pills.
Shame is a huge part of addiction and for me, it prevented me from recovering for a long time. Do whatever you need to do to recover.
I do hope you speak to your dr about getting off the pills.
Shame is a huge part of addiction and for me, it prevented me from recovering for a long time. Do whatever you need to do to recover.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 15
I am going to put my story out to the world I think it will help me see what I have a hard time seeing and if no one cares then so be it... well here goes nothing!
I started using percocet about 5 or 6 years ago for migraines I was given a rx for 30 a month and for a few years I could make that 30 last a month if not more only taking them when needed for pain. My mother is a recovered herion addict so I knew that I would have a problem if I abused any kind of drug or drink. So that kept me grounded for a long time. Last September my DH was in a severe motorcycle accident, and as much as I hate to admit it I think this event is what triggered my downfall. He was prescribed 5mg oxycodone every 4-6 hours for pain and they were giving him about 120 a week when he came home from the hospital. I started taking a couple here and there (he knew) to help get me thru the day. I was still getting my script for 30 a month and I was buying them from a friend along with taking them from my husband. I got to a point I was taking 12 or so 10/325 percocet a day and in the back of my mind I knew my husband would run out of pills and the doctor was being very careful with his scripts but I didn't care. This past weekend I noticed he was counting his pills to make sure he had enough to get to the next script. In my head I was like OMG what am I going to do oh well I thought I still have about 5 pills in my purse. my DH was sleeping so I went into my purse to take a pill and they were gone! He had taken them out of my purse! Well crap now what am I going to do... I took 3 out of his bottle and put them in my purse hoping he would not notice until after I had taken them.
My last pill before this was on friday night, I didn't take anything saturday or sunday and man did I feel like sh**. Cold, hot, sweating, cold, not hungry tired just wanted to sleep. when I got to work monday morning I had no idea what to do I was sitting at my desk literely thinking to myself "what am I doing here" I didn't know where to begin. then the lightbulb went off I have 3 pills in my purse so I took two of them. save the one for tuesday until I could possibly get more. monday when I got home my husband was being really distant like I had done something wrong but he wouldn't tell me and I didn't ask. Tuesday morning when I got to work I really wanted to take that pill but something told me not too. I felt like crap all day long when I got home I was bringing the groceries in the house and I offhandedly said I forgot how much this sucks now that I am sober. Well that started a whole conversation with my DH and needless to say those two I took monday morning were the last. The one I had left I handed over to my husband.
I thought I had to be everything to everyone, but I realize that I don't. I have been reading alot on the boards yesterday and today, and for some stupid reason I am sitting here thinking to myself I am not an addict!! but I know I am
I started using percocet about 5 or 6 years ago for migraines I was given a rx for 30 a month and for a few years I could make that 30 last a month if not more only taking them when needed for pain. My mother is a recovered herion addict so I knew that I would have a problem if I abused any kind of drug or drink. So that kept me grounded for a long time. Last September my DH was in a severe motorcycle accident, and as much as I hate to admit it I think this event is what triggered my downfall. He was prescribed 5mg oxycodone every 4-6 hours for pain and they were giving him about 120 a week when he came home from the hospital. I started taking a couple here and there (he knew) to help get me thru the day. I was still getting my script for 30 a month and I was buying them from a friend along with taking them from my husband. I got to a point I was taking 12 or so 10/325 percocet a day and in the back of my mind I knew my husband would run out of pills and the doctor was being very careful with his scripts but I didn't care. This past weekend I noticed he was counting his pills to make sure he had enough to get to the next script. In my head I was like OMG what am I going to do oh well I thought I still have about 5 pills in my purse. my DH was sleeping so I went into my purse to take a pill and they were gone! He had taken them out of my purse! Well crap now what am I going to do... I took 3 out of his bottle and put them in my purse hoping he would not notice until after I had taken them.
My last pill before this was on friday night, I didn't take anything saturday or sunday and man did I feel like sh**. Cold, hot, sweating, cold, not hungry tired just wanted to sleep. when I got to work monday morning I had no idea what to do I was sitting at my desk literely thinking to myself "what am I doing here" I didn't know where to begin. then the lightbulb went off I have 3 pills in my purse so I took two of them. save the one for tuesday until I could possibly get more. monday when I got home my husband was being really distant like I had done something wrong but he wouldn't tell me and I didn't ask. Tuesday morning when I got to work I really wanted to take that pill but something told me not too. I felt like crap all day long when I got home I was bringing the groceries in the house and I offhandedly said I forgot how much this sucks now that I am sober. Well that started a whole conversation with my DH and needless to say those two I took monday morning were the last. The one I had left I handed over to my husband.
I thought I had to be everything to everyone, but I realize that I don't. I have been reading alot on the boards yesterday and today, and for some stupid reason I am sitting here thinking to myself I am not an addict!! but I know I am
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 15
ok so today has been one week sober!! I don't know how I did it but I did. I went ahead and told my mother about my problem (for those of you who haven't read my mom is a recovering heroin addict 17 years now) and she did exactly what I thought she would do... she made it all about her. She even accused me of coming into her house when she was at work and taking her pills!! I would not do that in a million years. She says no wonder you have been ignoring ME no wonder you didn't buy ME a mother's day gift. When did my stop using rx drugs become about her????
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Most of us are very self centered........perhaps Mom too?
Recovery teaches me, many of us are emotionally ill & frequently wrong.
Pray for her.
Finally, one of the very basic principles in early recovery:
WHO CARES TO ADMIT COMPLETE DEFEAT???
Recovery teaches me, many of us are emotionally ill & frequently wrong.
Pray for her.
Finally, one of the very basic principles in early recovery:
WHO CARES TO ADMIT COMPLETE DEFEAT???
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