Learning how

I have to share because I have been using you guys to get through the last week or so. Reading Reading Reading.... (and a lot of what was in the post from Ago, Invalidating your emotions, happens at my house)

We leave for vacation tomorrow... I had written a bunch of detail but deleted it because it really doesn't matter what the details are the bottom line is....

I wish AH wasn't going.... there I said it. I wish I could just take my kid.

I feel myself getting all stressed out because I can't be sure of AH's mood or behavior. I don't want to spend a week listening to him tell me what I should have done, or how expensive everything is. If I choose to do something that doesn't center on him how rude I am. Its already started and we don't even leave until tomorrow. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! Why do I fall back into thinking we can do something like normal people? And why do I keep falling into this place where all my energy is going toward being worried about what HE thinks and says. Crap.... Its like I'm just walking in a circle around him waiting for him to do something so I can react....
Vacations are suppose to be fun. Maybe just writing it out will help. How can I deal with MY thinking?

FunnyOne

Maybe you could use this vacation as a seminar for yourself. When he speaks just say QUACK QUACK QUACK loudly in your head. You cannot control what he says, but you can take a "vacation" from taking it personally.

LaTeeDa

Can I ever relate to your feelings!

I spent close to 20 years trying to 'create' a normal family situation out of something that was anything but.....

So grateful I'm not doing that anymore.

I don't know what to tell you about how to get through it. I couldn't do it. I had to get away from him in order to find peace. I could only detach so much in the middle of the hurricane.

L

naive

why don't you let him go with the child and you stay home? as long as you feel the child will be safe...

why put yourself through it?

naive

hadenoughnow

I let my exah go on vacation with us two months before I threw him out. I wish I had just canceled his plane ticket and taken my son, would have saved me a lot of $$$ and aggravation.