Mcribb

The mcdonalds mcrib is back? Naw just kidding, just your standard drunk here, trying to get back to getting myself healthy again.

1.) more money
2.) more healthy
3.) less anxiety
4.) do more stuff

I have tried before and I know the rules, have to fire my drinking friends, have to find other stuff to do, been through it a zillion times.
The problem is 1 out of 3 times is i do have a good time drinking, I don't know how to feel good with out it. I am anxious all the fricking time about everything. I know if i really wanted to make a huge change I need to get help 24 hours a day and start over. Unfortunately I have built my career up the last 4 years working day in and day out. That is mostly my damn problem is I work so much that my life is out of balance. If I get through this year I get more time away, and I am hopefully I can get it squared away. As it is right now here is the cycle, Monday Workout, Work, get stressed, sleep, tuesday work work, wednesday work work, think about staying sober, thursday, sick of life go to bar to forget, until Monday. I know the deal with this stuff that it is ton of work, that it has to be #1, all that jazz. What I am looking for is just to vent on how exhausting this all is. You know what i really hate is I really don't have that much time to drink. Last weekend I worked out swam, cleaned, played video games, played lots of guitar and drums, listened to music, I do all the stuff that I want to do plus drink a ton, and I know it is because I like drinking, but I also know the strain on my body and mind chugging away. I am so close and if I just had more family where I live or girlfriend dog anything I always feel resentful because I see everyone else with other stuff that keeps them away from the stuff.

Ok so anyway plans to try to get it done this time. Swallow pride and call people if I know I am going to have a tough day I need to talk to someone, most the time I drink because I am bored and alone.
Anyway just need the hug symbols and "I name here agree with this post"

Mcribb

I feel so normal when I am drinking, but I know the truth, when everyone else is done having fun I go to a bad place and just still drink drunk dial people drunk facebook people, damn I am an idiot. I plan on reading this thursday Morning all day and just get through a couple weeks. I know the first couple weeks of sobriety feels like someone shot your dog and there is little confort. I hate how the times i did stay sober I felt worse and unhappy, but I didn't stay sober for long I am hopefully that once I stay off it It will get better.

Mcribb

I really hate how I have 3 friends, they all drink heavily, i really hate to fire them, but I know this is what I do and if I want to not drink 2 of them won't pressure me. This is why people talk about staying sober hard work, because you have to do whatever you can to stay sober, it sucks, but do you want to stay sober or not?

coffeenut

Okay.....breathe!

Are you ready to give it up?

keithj

Ugh. I hate telling you the truth. I am in almost complete disagreement with your post. It's OK. You'll have lots of people patting you on the back and saying way to go, just hang in there.

If those are the rules, then why have you been through it a zillion times? I followed a very different set of rules and I only had to do it once. Not because I'm really good or really special, but because I was a hopeless drunk. I was so hopeless that I was willing to follow the direction of people that had recovered. I had to give up the idea that I knew how to get sober because all of the facts showed that I absolutely did not know how.


If work is your problem, then you may need to adjust your work schedule. If inability to get and stay sober is your problem, you may need to do something else. It's very easy to get caught up in identifying our problems and suffering the delusion that if we could only get all these things in our life straightened out, we wouldn't have to drink so much. However, if you are an alcoholic, and I don't know if you are, you can't get sober to work on those other problems.

I know for me, I had to let go of the idea that I knew much of anything about why I was drinking or how to stop it. Believing that I knew how this worked and all that jazz kept me drunk for a few more years than I would have preferred.

Glad you could vent. Sorry I can't provide the hugs you asked for. I, and many others, can provide a solution to your drinking problem if you want.

grateful2b

((Mcribb))
This is it isn't it...this is what it boils down to...recovery is hard work and we have to get to a place where we are willing to do whatever it takes...but if we get on the road, and take the journey and do the work, we can heal, it does get better....'don't give up before the miracle happens'....
I am glad to see you back

Mark75

But the stuff (alcohol) is what is keeping the stuff (girlfriends, people who care about you...) away!! You do get that, right??

Welcome back, the program works if you work it....

Mark

Mcribb

whats keeping my family away is they live 2 hours away and they got their own stuff going on, my mom is taking care of grandma, my dad works a ton, my sister has her own family. The girlfriends, well I may have to buy into that. Thanks for the well wishes.

Tazman53

Mcribb I lost no friends when I got sober, nor did I fire any of them. What I lost was drinking buddies, take away the booze and they are gone!!!

I gained a bunch of friends when I got sober, real friends, most of them sober, some of my friends do drink, but not like I did, they do not drink to get hammered, they have one or 2 and they are finished and could care less if they come over to my place and there is no booze and they do not care..... you see they are there to see me, not drink!

Things to do....... well being sober I have fouind that I can do every single thing I did while drinking without drinking.... I do them better sober and even better yet I remember what I did the next day!

Your view of sobriety is one of absolute boredom, that view is so far from the truth it is not even funny! Think about all the things you plan on doing while you are drinking and you have never done! Guess what? You can stop talking about what you are going to do and in sobriety start doing them!!!!

Do you think scuba divers dive while drunk or drinking?

Do you think REAL athletes drink while they train and compete?

You say you still enjoy drinking? I did to for a lot of years, and then the tables turned, drinking was no longer fun, nothing is fun that I know of that one HAS to do!

I kept drinking until I hurt really bad, all of the pleasure was gone, my life revolved around alcohol.

I know when I reached the point where I wanted to not drink more then I wanted to drink I found a way to stop and stay stopped! Once I had hit that point, that was when my eyes opened and I was able to see just how great life was without the booze.

The work you speak of was in changing myself from a drunk into a recovered alcoholic, a person who has learned how to live life on lifes terms sober and happy being that way.

I do not have a single regret being sober, there is absolutely nothing I can not do, or at least try to do sober, when I was drinking I was way to busy drinking to do any thing I spoke about doing.

I wish you luck and I pray that you have found or will soon find a bottom that is not to far down the scale, but remember no matter how far down the scale we have gone, there is a solution when we are ready and willing to do what ever it takes to get it.

Once one gets it, life is different in so many good ways.

MORE was my biggest problem, I wanted more booze, more women, more money, MORE!!!

I have found that a simple serene & peaceful life is all I really need, but I sure do have a blast being sober.

smacked

Wb McRibb..

I'm going to sound like an echo here but I think it's important..

I'm sorry to say that you don't know the rules or what to do.. because you probably wouldn't be back here trying again if you did. I ask you to be willing to try anything and everything you haven't yet, because your plan so far hasn't gotten you where you want to go, ya know?

A lot of us have a lot of reasons (excuses) for our drinking.. Since I've been sober I have found many more reason not to, and it's really a much saner way to live!

Welcome back.. I hope you gather some new tools to try this time!

Wolfchild

Part of the difficulty with blaming people, places, and things, for our chaotic lifestyle is that it distracts us from taking responsibility for our own life. We reinforce our excuses with illusions of what we think is the truth while ignoring the exact cause of the problem. Many of us have spent years repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results because of this. We seldom thought that God could and would help us if we sought His help. We tried to control our drinking because we thought we could. We tried to control others because we thought we should. As life continued to reveal the truth about ourselves, we slipped further and further away from reality because such awareness caused us pain. We lost the ability to live life on life's terms and be happy.

If you can honestly identify with any of that, you may have a problem. i would sugest seeking out those people who have faced similiar problems and have found a new way to live without the need to use drugs or alcohol. Disassociating from those who are on a course of self destruction is a good start. Why not get to a recovery meeting and find others to support you in your decision to live sober?

Mcribb

I accept the fact it is my fault, I always have to have something to numb me. I am seeking out other people who are trying to get away. You guys are the best and work really hard, thank you.