First seven days without pills
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2
First seven days without pills
Hi everyone. I am new here. I needed to find someone or something I could vent out all of my feelings, all of my oppressed secrets of my addiction.
I'm 19, and have been addicted to oxycodone and methadone for almost one year now. I began taking the pills when my mom was prescribed to them after a major surgery. It started as her giving me one for really bad cramps and after that it became a daily activity.
My most recent daily usage was up to 60mg oxycodone or about 40 mg methadone a day. As well as the use of pot and alcohol 3-4 times heavily a week.
Today is the sevenith day of this long week that I haven't had any pills. I thought I was having horrible allergies because of how much I had been sneezing (i didnt realize that was a major symptom) as well as almost no sleep this entire last week and MANY trips to the bathroom.
Today my body is aching to the point of hell. I know I just have to keep sticking it out but today is my first psychological feelings of it all.
I realize my friends didn't know that any of this was going on because I was so ashmed of what I was doing, I just used it to mask all my feelings of sadness and the pain others have caused me in the past. It's so sad because I look back at what a happy person I was and I gave it all away to drugs because I didn't know any other way.
Anyway, I just needed to get that out, maybe talk with some others that can give me any advice. I'm crying as I write this because the reality of it has finally hit and it hurts.
I'm 19, and have been addicted to oxycodone and methadone for almost one year now. I began taking the pills when my mom was prescribed to them after a major surgery. It started as her giving me one for really bad cramps and after that it became a daily activity.
My most recent daily usage was up to 60mg oxycodone or about 40 mg methadone a day. As well as the use of pot and alcohol 3-4 times heavily a week.
Today is the sevenith day of this long week that I haven't had any pills. I thought I was having horrible allergies because of how much I had been sneezing (i didnt realize that was a major symptom) as well as almost no sleep this entire last week and MANY trips to the bathroom.
Today my body is aching to the point of hell. I know I just have to keep sticking it out but today is my first psychological feelings of it all.
I realize my friends didn't know that any of this was going on because I was so ashmed of what I was doing, I just used it to mask all my feelings of sadness and the pain others have caused me in the past. It's so sad because I look back at what a happy person I was and I gave it all away to drugs because I didn't know any other way.
Anyway, I just needed to get that out, maybe talk with some others that can give me any advice. I'm crying as I write this because the reality of it has finally hit and it hurts.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 373
Welcome! 7 days! That is quite an accomplishment. I don't know anything about your particular drug of choice but I still wanted to say hello and tell you that you should be proud of yourself for realizing you have a problem and doing something about it.
You are in the right place. It will get better!
My best!
You are in the right place. It will get better!
My best!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Enchanted,
Good for you!
And, shame is a huge part of addiction. And, it's something that keeps us caught up in the cycle. I had a very hard time dealing with guilt and shame and it prevented me from recovering for a long time.
Know that we understand!
Good for you!
And, shame is a huge part of addiction. And, it's something that keeps us caught up in the cycle. I had a very hard time dealing with guilt and shame and it prevented me from recovering for a long time.
Know that we understand!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2
Today went better. My withdrawal symptoms have started settling a bit and i went to work and was fine working sober. I woke up this morning and felt a sense of well being. Thanks for the support, it really does help.
Song I want to share - Jewel - Who will save your soul
Song I want to share - Jewel - Who will save your soul
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 85
That's a great song! Congratulations on 7 days, I was there a few weeks ago, I know it's not easy. Hang in there, you've made it through the rough patch, now you need to keep looking forward, not backward.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR enchanted, congrats on your clean time, you will find a lot of folks here for support, you may find more experience in the substance Abuse Forum Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
If you find yourself really struggling and feel like some face to face support is what you need in addition to SR, then I would suggest looking up NA (Narcotics Anonymous) in the phone book and give them a call.
If you find yourself really struggling and feel like some face to face support is what you need in addition to SR, then I would suggest looking up NA (Narcotics Anonymous) in the phone book and give them a call.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
congratulations. 7 days is a big deal. It sounds like everything you are feeling is completely normal. It gets much better if you stick with it. The emotions will flood for awhile as you are probably not used to experiencing them without heavy sedation to tamper them down. I would think about getting out to some 12 step meetings if you haven't already just to try to meet some people who have been in the exact posistion as you. Online is good too and better than nothing but I think it is good to try to get out to meet people in real life too. If you have gotten this far you have overcome the hardest part. Good Luck and Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: long island, new york
Posts: 61
7 days is quite a feat, i am proud of you. I only have 4, so you are ahead of me. I know how horrible it can be coming off of opiates but once we are free from these things we will have our self worth restored. I know how ****** and down one can feel, especially when detoxing off of opiates, extreme depression is an understatement. Just know that things will get better and better the longer you resist the temptation to get "high". You are not alone.
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