countrygirl

Does stinking thinking refer to the negative attitude? For example, my AH - he is convinced that life sucks, he hasn't got a chance anyway, so he might as well do what he wants and drink. Is this stinking thinking and would recovery change this point of view? Is it the disease or an excuse or is it an additional problem?

Some of our life is kind of tough, even without the drinking, but I see both the good and the bad in things, he seems to see mostly the bad.

Thanks.

journeygal

Yup, you got it. We all suffer from stinking thinking now and then, when we only focus on the bad stuff, have pity parties, etc. Recovery might change his point of view, but he has to be sick and tired of being sick and tired for recovery to really be able to take hold of his life. It's all the disease talking and thinking for him, and since I'm sure he knows deep down he has a problem, focusing on anything good or hopeful is pretty hard for him to do.

kitkat

I know what you mean. Mine is in the same frame of mind. He keeps saying how nothing ever goes his way and how can he try to be happy when he is miserable. I was wondering if it was just part of the disease or something else.

I also think some people are just inherently negative while other try to be positve. I am positive and he is negative - just goes to show opposite do attract.

jessieandme2003

My AH and I were somewhat the opposite. I was the one who tended to only see the negative, hold pity parties, etc. he was always cheerful, always happy, everyone's favorite good time guy. He just seemed oblivious to his problems, kept just drinking and living in denial. His actions made me more crazy about the probelms, because I felt I was the only one who cared about them and worried.
I guess in some cases its the codie with the stinkin thinkin?

LongStrangeTrip

I'm the half full glass and he is the half empty...except for when he's drinking and hanging out with his friends. Then, he's definitely all happy and full of fun and we reverse roles right then and there.