brokenrockstar

Two weeks ago is when ABF came home smashed... two weeks ago I set a boundry... two weeks ago he go arreseted... two weeks ago was the last time he got lit up.

I've been to two therapy sessions at this point and haven't worried about "the problem".

Today freaked me out because he mentioned Pizza. The special pizza he brought home two weeks ago when he was all drunk. I'm scared. I told him not to get it on his route today but he knows I love it (loved it up until that day, haven't eaten it since) and insisted. I told him that I hope I get to enjoy this one with him... and left it at that. *sigh* I know it's crazy but I'm scared. It's been two "good" weeks full of growth for the both of us.

An hour left to go and my mind has taken this situation and RAN with it. I'll surrender it to God (again) in hopes he brings peace of mind.

Any advice?

GiveLove

Sometimes a pizza is just a pizza, hon.

I'm glad you're taking steps to strengthen yourself.

What is your boundary, just out of curiosity?

brokenrockstar

He came home an hour late (without calling) to the point that he couldn't even get out of his car... stumbled up the steps... and when he went to come in, I locked the door. I told him to leave and that he couldn't come home in that condition. When he wouldn't leave, I called the cops. Boundry set.

Good point. Sometimes Pizza is just a pizza. I'm going to keep saying that over and over to ease my mind. Thank you for your encouragement. It's has helped me so much!!

Romey4

Good for you! I hope that pizza is JUST a pizza and now I'm really craving one!

GiveLove

No, I mean what is your boundary NOW?

If he comes home again smashed you will have to......what?

Sometimes our frustration and fear comes from the helplessness of not having a clear idea what we're going to do if our boundaries are crossed, if we are again hurt.

I used to obsess as well. A lot. That's been replaced with the calm that comes from knowing that I am hoping for the best, but have a plan to protect myself. So....what's your plan?

brokenrockstar

Sorry... misunderstood. Don't come home in that state. If is should happen, I'll ask him to leave. If he doesn't leave, I'll call the police AGAIN. This time don't come home period if you aren't going to get into therapy or a program. He's been trying his hardest, but on his own. I've stressed that I think there should be more men on his army to battle this thing and he keeps telling me that he's good enough to do it. If he should fail, that is proof to the both of us that he needs the help.

My therapist said, that the reality of it all is that he MAY fail. This would prove a point to the both of us. At least he'll be in a place where he should clearly see this (once he sobers up the next morning). My feet are firm on this one. Who knows. I might not have to worry, at least not until next thrusday

I hope to have that same peace that you carry.

GiveLove

It takes a little practice....

But I hope you don't have to practice tonight...and just get to enjoy that pizza. Don't forget to save a piece for Romey

brokenrockstar

It was JUST pizza... and a win for the pens... and a sober night full of smiles and good times. It was a huge relief when I looked into his eyes and smelt his breath... "Ah Pizza" I said to myself. Had a slice and got in lots of kisses. This time... it was just pizza.

We have lots left if anyone wants some

ItsmeAlice

The hope now is that he will always remember what a loving, warm reception he got when he brought home the pizza as promised.

Lord knows when my dogs get love and kisses for doing something I've tried to train them to do, they'll repeat the task over and over to get more and more praise.

I don't wish to reduce your ABF to a trained puppy or to mean any disrespect to him. I ONLY mean to wish sometimes that a relationship with anyone, addict or not, could be as simple as "puppy love."

Wag. wag. wag.

Alice

brokenrockstar

Amen Alice... Amen! :ghug3