new
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 309
new
I'll try to keep this as short as I can. I've been drinking heavily for 3 years. I guess I technically started at 18, but I never really cared for it until I turned 21.
I began drinking every day. Heavily. Ignored responsibilities, got a dwi, marriage suffered, gained weight, and that still wasn't enough to keep me away.
I didn't realize how much my body depended on alcohol until I decided to quit cold turkey one night. (Oh, I forgot to mention that I was taking sleeping pills, as if the 1/2 gallon of vodka wasn't enough to knock me out)
My anxiety was so severe, I had to call my doc at 10:30 at night. When I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I would see this bizarre, vivid images. She made me come in the next day and I finally had to be honest about my drinking. She suggested AA.
I quit taking the pills, but not the drinking. I managed to ween it down to just the weekends. Problem was, it wasn't like I was having a few social drinks. I was getting blackouts every weekend. I'd wake up with cuts and bruises from being fall down stupid drunk.
I've been reading these boards for a while. I've also been to AA in the past, but it was court ordered and I didn't give a ****. I'd just drink after the meetings.
I went to my first AA meeting in 3 years yesterday.(btw, did NOT drink after meeting) I'm going back today. I'm sick of alcohol. It's not fun anymore. I can't handle the hangovers. It's not even the headaches that get to me, it's this feeling I can't explain all over my body. I call it the ick.
During the week, I'm ok. It's the weekends that scare me. So, this Friday and Saturday, I'm planning on going in. I like the feeling that if i'm not there like I say, they'll know exactly what I did. And I'll have to look them all in the face next time. That might not be right, but it works for now.
Anyway, that's my little intro. Sorry so long! But it felt good to put it all out there.
I began drinking every day. Heavily. Ignored responsibilities, got a dwi, marriage suffered, gained weight, and that still wasn't enough to keep me away.
I didn't realize how much my body depended on alcohol until I decided to quit cold turkey one night. (Oh, I forgot to mention that I was taking sleeping pills, as if the 1/2 gallon of vodka wasn't enough to knock me out)
My anxiety was so severe, I had to call my doc at 10:30 at night. When I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I would see this bizarre, vivid images. She made me come in the next day and I finally had to be honest about my drinking. She suggested AA.
I quit taking the pills, but not the drinking. I managed to ween it down to just the weekends. Problem was, it wasn't like I was having a few social drinks. I was getting blackouts every weekend. I'd wake up with cuts and bruises from being fall down stupid drunk.
I've been reading these boards for a while. I've also been to AA in the past, but it was court ordered and I didn't give a ****. I'd just drink after the meetings.
I went to my first AA meeting in 3 years yesterday.(btw, did NOT drink after meeting) I'm going back today. I'm sick of alcohol. It's not fun anymore. I can't handle the hangovers. It's not even the headaches that get to me, it's this feeling I can't explain all over my body. I call it the ick.
During the week, I'm ok. It's the weekends that scare me. So, this Friday and Saturday, I'm planning on going in. I like the feeling that if i'm not there like I say, they'll know exactly what I did. And I'll have to look them all in the face next time. That might not be right, but it works for now.
Anyway, that's my little intro. Sorry so long! But it felt good to put it all out there.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Cedar Rapids Iowa
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by littlebluedog 
I went to my first AA meeting in 3 years yesterday.(btw, did NOT drink after meeting) I'm going back today. I'm sick of alcohol. It's not fun anymore. I can't handle the hangovers. It's not even the headaches that get to me, it's this feeling I can't explain all over my body. I call it the ick.
During the week, I'm ok. It's the weekends that scare me. So, this Friday and Saturday, I'm planning on going in. I like the feeling that if i'm not there like I say, they'll know exactly what I did. And I'll have to look them all in the face next time. That might not be right, but it works for now.
Anyway, that's my little intro. Sorry so long! But it felt good to put it all out there.
During the week, I'm ok. It's the weekends that scare me. So, this Friday and Saturday, I'm planning on going in. I like the feeling that if i'm not there like I say, they'll know exactly what I did. And I'll have to look them all in the face next time. That might not be right, but it works for now.
Anyway, that's my little intro. Sorry so long! But it felt good to put it all out there.
I can totally relate to the ick. Even when manageable it is still so depressing. The weekends are my triggers, too. I plan on staying busy to occupy my thoughts. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and let you know I totally get what your saying!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Blue, congrats on staying sober, one thing that helped me a lot in early sobriety was going to tons of meetings, getting phone numbers of folks in the rooms and then calling them whether things were good or bad! Not only did that help me to stay sober and make friends, it also I found out helped the people I was calling to stay sober as well, keep us posted as to how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Hi dog. Just to let you know that you're not unique, I went to AA for 2 years with a drink in my car. Probably stunk up the place with vodka coming out of my pores. Everyone there knew what I was doing, but no one said a word. The reason I kept going was that so long as I had AA available, there was hope. I knew that if I stopped going, even with a drink in my car, then my situation would be hopeless. And eventually it caught on and I was able to quit. I had finally reached the point where I wanted to quit more than I wanted to drink. You're doing all the right things, my friend. Keep doing what you're doing. It gets better every day.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
