barblsn

here we go again. AH is in recovery, home 6 months, working, taking care of the house, attempting to be with his family. And now I see that his family can't stand to see him do well. My AH is the family screw up, even though every single one of his brothers and his father have had multiple DWI's, relationship problems, fights, etc. They have started trouble amongst themselves; trying to pull AH right in the middle. I pointed this out to AH, who thank god also recognized it. This was the EXACT situation that was happening before my husband's last relapse over 2 years ago. Now I know no one put a crack pipe in my AH's mouth and forced him to smoke, but I also know that his family's crap is a major trigger for him.
SO, this time AH is changing the people in his people, places in things and separating himself from the family. And this time he is actually talking about it, instead of telling everyone everything's ok.

I am still anxious about a relapse, but no more than I am on a regular basis. Didn't cause is, can't cure it, sure as heck can't control it.

Seren

How great that he is now recognizing the toxic people in his world and truly understands that distance from them is necessary to a good recovery! Just take one moment at a time.....breathe......

Hugs and prayers to you both, HG

greeteachday

Glad he recognizes the triggers and faces them head on. I understand that feeling like watching an accident about to happen and knowing there is nothing that can be done (by me) to stop it. Those in recovery have tools to see that accident before it occurs and swerve to avoid it. How great that he is using those tools! Keeping you both in my thoughts.

barblsn

oh I don't know now; he's starting to cave. Made up with his sister, is trying to smoothe things over with his adult daughter.... at least he's talking about it. I reminded him again that I would not tolerate another relapse, we would be through if he used. His brother (also in recovery) asked him if he felt like using, and RAH said he has intermittent craving, and he thinks it all the way through, sees himself in handcuffs, being strip searched. I got a stab of fear when I heard that... I guess cravings are part of the recovery, but when all this happened before, RAH thought he could use recreationally just to get through the bad times.
I don't know.
He's looking ok, still working, gave me his paycheck yesterday....I don't know. You never know though, huh?

Just venting...thanks

hope213

this is a one day at a time program. our addicts will b addict their whole life. there is no cure. this is also your husbands recovery. i do understand how u feel tho & how anxious YOU can get. you set your boundries, the rest is up to him. sending up prayers for you & him both,

barblsn

you set your boundries, the rest is up to him. sending up prayers for you & him both,

Thanks for the prayers.

I have set my boundaries, however this is AH's daughter; not mine. I want some significant time apart from her...I was thinking the summer. Seriously, she is very manipulative and spiteful. My AH is all but begging her to "forgive" him for an event that took place only in her head. I told him I was staying out of it; not going to call her to help smooth things out, as I have always done in the past, so I guess that's a boundary I can stick to.