Off topic: thank you to all the moms in this forum
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Off topic: thank you to all the moms in this forum
Hi friends, tonight I walked to a Starbucks to meet a new guy I am seeing. It was great to walk, feel the light breeze, I am planning on doing it more often.
While I was walking I thought about how all of you have helped me and I wanted to express my special thanks to all the moms in the forum.
My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mom raised my sister and me. Granted we got $$ from my dad but he was an elusive figure at best (not an AH at least...).
When you share your similar struggles I gain more compassion towards my mom. My sis and me resented for a long time the fact we were ALWAYS late for school, never had breakfast, our clothes were not mended, had stains, etc. I distinctively remember comparing myself to a friend that got this supernice home, great family together, the mom cooking everyday, and how I sometimes preferred to stay at her home. When I invited this friend to my home she did not like it as it was such a great difference...
I am just realizing this hurt, my mom got depressed and has not had friends since, or a partner, to me that was sadness but now I realize it is her life.. I have no opinion. And now after my own bad times, and reading your stories I am able to understand she was rising two little daughters all alone, facing divorce in a social context that was not good (even now divorce is really badly looked in most parts of Mexico). To this day her brothers, my uncles, think she failed and is a loser.
Anyway and back to the point, after a 4th-5th step retirement organized by AA, I was able to come to my mom and ask forgiveness and tell her I forgave her, I also told her I now understand how difficult that should have been. She got tears when I told her that. I myself had issues even doing the most basic stuff a few months ago and I was not even married, I do not know how she managed to raise kids while mourning a husband. Who got married to someone else almost right away, adding to the hurt. I agree AHs have their rehabs, and WE have to deal with equal or worse stuff while doing our chores, and it sucks.
So special thanks to the moms here that help me so much, thanks to you I have been able to heal my relation with Mom and thank her for her efforts. I am so glad I was able to see her reality more clearly and express this to her, and not decades later when I am no longer able to tell her how strong she has always been and how I am who I am just because of her, and she has been the only person that has been with me all this time, through all my mistakes, bad and good times and still love me. She teaches me unconditional love.
For any past mistakes you have made, I am sure there will be a point your children understand all the great efforts you have done and be thankful for having such wonderful women in their lives and be blessed in this way
Sandra
While I was walking I thought about how all of you have helped me and I wanted to express my special thanks to all the moms in the forum.
My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mom raised my sister and me. Granted we got $$ from my dad but he was an elusive figure at best (not an AH at least...).
When you share your similar struggles I gain more compassion towards my mom. My sis and me resented for a long time the fact we were ALWAYS late for school, never had breakfast, our clothes were not mended, had stains, etc. I distinctively remember comparing myself to a friend that got this supernice home, great family together, the mom cooking everyday, and how I sometimes preferred to stay at her home. When I invited this friend to my home she did not like it as it was such a great difference...
I am just realizing this hurt, my mom got depressed and has not had friends since, or a partner, to me that was sadness but now I realize it is her life.. I have no opinion. And now after my own bad times, and reading your stories I am able to understand she was rising two little daughters all alone, facing divorce in a social context that was not good (even now divorce is really badly looked in most parts of Mexico). To this day her brothers, my uncles, think she failed and is a loser.
Anyway and back to the point, after a 4th-5th step retirement organized by AA, I was able to come to my mom and ask forgiveness and tell her I forgave her, I also told her I now understand how difficult that should have been. She got tears when I told her that. I myself had issues even doing the most basic stuff a few months ago and I was not even married, I do not know how she managed to raise kids while mourning a husband. Who got married to someone else almost right away, adding to the hurt. I agree AHs have their rehabs, and WE have to deal with equal or worse stuff while doing our chores, and it sucks.
So special thanks to the moms here that help me so much, thanks to you I have been able to heal my relation with Mom and thank her for her efforts. I am so glad I was able to see her reality more clearly and express this to her, and not decades later when I am no longer able to tell her how strong she has always been and how I am who I am just because of her, and she has been the only person that has been with me all this time, through all my mistakes, bad and good times and still love me. She teaches me unconditional love.
For any past mistakes you have made, I am sure there will be a point your children understand all the great efforts you have done and be thankful for having such wonderful women in their lives and be blessed in this way
Sandra
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
So special thanks to the moms here that help me so much, thanks to you I have been able to heal my relation with Mom and thank her for her efforts. I am so glad I was able to see her reality more clearly and express this to her, and not decades later when I am no longer able to tell her how strong she has always been and how I am who I am just because of her, and she has been the only person that has been with me all this time, through all my mistakes, bad and good times and still love me. She teaches me unconditional love.
Hugs
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Wow. Thanks for this. I was just struggling with what to do about having to move again, and whether to discuss it with my daughter or not (it upsets her very much)...and the terrible guilt I feel over all of it.
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