blessed4x

.....well, alone as you can be with 4 kiddos. STBXAH moved out today. I've got mixed feelings, which I suppose is normal. I've worked through a LOT of guilt, anger, self-doubt. Now I can honestly wish him nothing but the best.

I am going to be very busy creating a new normal for the 5 of us, full of new traditions, new adventures (I put "vacation fund" in my new budget), new routines that don't include walking on egg-shells. So while I'm sad about the loss of the marriage I always dreamed of, I'm excited about the family that can be a reality.

My STBXAH looks hurt and defeated. He has an emptiness in his eyes, that I know many of you have seen before. He has not had a drink in around 2 months. He is now using prescription pain meds to numb the hurt that alcohol once deadened. I pray for him daily and I thank God for all I have learned through him. When we face adversities we have 2 choices: grow or become bitter, miserable people. I am thankful for my trials, for I would be so much shallower without them.

So, if you hear the faint sounds of laughter and singing drifting into your corner of the world, you can know that here at the blessed house we are adjusting just fine.

Ago

pssssssssst



pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst


<in a loud, stupid stage whisper>

Hey Blessed, You aren't alone......we are totally here for you, don't you know how proud of you we are?

TakingCharge999

blessed, you are an inspiration!!
I am glad those kids have a sane parent that removed them from the madness of addiction!!
You have changed 5 lives for the best!!
I am so glad tonight with this wonderful news.
:ghug2

GiveLove

So proud of you, blessed.

Can't wait to see what life has in store for you all...you've opened up a whole new part of your life, all in technicolor like when Dorothy steps into Oz (hey, you even have the munchkins! )

Hugs,
GL

naive

that's great news he's moved out. if you're like me, you'll go through all sorts of different emotions but just remind yourself "this too will pass" and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

and don't fall for the pained look in his eye...it's hard, i know but just remember his lies about his woman co-worker at the house when you and the kids were on holiday...you didn't cause this...he did with his choices...

stay strong!

naive

Freedom1990

I don't have little kids anymore, and sometimes I still make a tent in the living room and grab my grandkids' colors/coloring books!

ItsmeAlice

I hope the only egg shells you come across are those in the trash after breakfast....or if you and the kids decide to have one of those egg in the spoon races, which was always one of my favorites at the neighborhood picnic.

I can't wait to hear of all the new traditions at your house...

Board game night.
Rice Krispy treats with M&Ms on Friday nights.

one of my favorites from childhood was leftover night when you could choose any crazy leftover from the fridge for dinner to clean out the fridge the night before Mom went grocery shopping the next day.

My neices and nephew have a ball that you roll around that makes ice cream in it. The whole family rolls the ball back and forth and plays word games or has family meetings about vacation plans. Of course, when the meeting is over they get to eat the fresh ice cream!!

What a wonderful time for you all. STBX's pain is self-inflicted. Let him have his anguish all to himself.

Peace

Alice

blessed4x

I love that too.....we call it "yoyo night" (You're On Your Own)

It kind of feels like everyone has finally exhaled and the energy here is more relaxed. My 17 year old is making plans to paint his bedroom. He stays in the room that was previously a guest room, and STBXAH had always told him it wasn't his room, but STBXAH was just letting him stay in it. I know....I'm starting to feel horrified at all that I tolerated and failed to protect my children from.

We've got a line up of kids spending the night, band practice (because isn't every 17 year old going to be the next big rock star), visits to Grandma's, and pizza on a blanket on the floor for family movie night.

I love all of the suggestions for fun family things to do.....especially those that don't involve much cash!

TakingCharge999

Hey!! I love the tents, too!!

Blessed, I hope you already bought ear plugs for the band practice!!

When I am down I remember your new life and know things are possible, thanks for being such an inspiration for me today !!

Learning how

Enjoy your time with the kids. Sounds like the begining of a new life. I am so proud of you, stay strong.

Daisy30

Oh what relief you all must be feeling

You will LOVE finding out who you are!

oH AND WE LOVE "picnics" on movie night too!

ETA: I still have guilt about things that I let happen. It is good to be able to see it from the outside and know you will not fall into that trap again.

Bernadette

I'm excited about the family that can be a reality.

AMEN to that!

(((((((HUGS))))))))
peace,
b

Wascally Wabbit

Been there. I can still remember the first night I slept in my new apartment, alone. It was so peaceful. No chaos, no fear.
Peace will come to you.

Ago

I need threads, posts and reminders of this on a daily basis

I need what I have right now to be "enough".......well....because it is

I have come so very far this last year, then I start getting ahead of myself and want "more" or want it "faster", then I remember nine months ago when I was ecstatic just to sleep on a friends floor because I had escaped.

What a great day, Blessed, I hope you are having a good one and the pitter patter of small herds of like....elephants are heard through your house (children playing)

blessed4x

Thanks Ago! Yes, we have had a full weekend of movie night, water park, sidewalk chalk and bikes on the drive, kids sleeping over, and I even managed to get the grass mowed and the kitchen cleaned from top to bottom!

Today has been a little rough. Would have been my dad's birthday, but he passed in January. STBXAH called and asked to meet as he had a check for house payment and I had some of his mail. We met in a park and talked in circles for longer than we should of until I started getting bit by tiny bright red spiders and realized God was trying to get my attention. Fortunately I was able to regain my composure and return home to fix a fabulous dinner of reubens and tots for the crew and relax on the deck. Now they are bathed, kissed, prayed over, and AHHHH the peace and serenity have returned!

How far I have evolved since my first cooking attempt of tacos a few months ago that ended up with a visit from the big red fire truck! Believe it or not I'm ENJOYING the meal planning and cooking.........dishes, not so much, but hey, isn't that what kids are for?!

ItsmeAlice

I feel good just listening to you recount your day. Even the meeting with STBX was a learning experience in a good way. Way to listen to your HP! Sometimes it's lightning bolt, sometimes it's little red spiders.

String more of these days together, and you might just have a really sweet life on your hands, how 'bout them apples!!!

Oh, did I tell you I really dig tots. I needed to add more fish to my diet, which I'm not big on, but by adding tots to the meal, my fish dish is now one of my favs. They make every meal tasty!

Sleep tight.

Alice

TakingCharge999

blessed, I can help with the tacos recipe, thank you for reminding me of my own happiness when I found my new place!!

Also Ago, thank you for another reminder, not long ago I was crying on a sleeping bag at someone else's spare room and now I am totally relaxed on a king size bed!! Wow what a perfect analogy of how my life was like then and how it is like now.

Life rules when YOU rule it I'm so glad for the kids, too!!!!!! You are a superwoman, I have issues washing my own clothes and cooking, and there you are out there cooking for everyone and having a cleaner kitchen than mine. And handling AH without disturbing your plans or family life.

isitme

WOW! Contragulations.. I often dream of that "family that can be a reality."
I think I should have been taking notes throughout your process.. thanks for the inspiration and I hope your having a BLAST!!

LaTeeDa

isitme,

One of the coolest things about SR is the ability to go back in time.

You can revisit Blessed's journey any time by going to her profile (just click her user name), select the statistics tab, and view all threads started by her.

I've also found it very useful to revisit my own threads periodically.

L

chrisea

& you have all summer to enjoy, actually all seasons get more blessed & peaceful.


"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older." ~ Tom Stoppard