RaiRai

My closest friend has now been sober for 12 days - I'm so proud of him for making the decision to stop drinking that my eyes tear when I think about it.

My question is this: In what ways can I help him through the beginnings of this process? He lives with me, he moved in not too long ago to try to get his life back together. I have removed all alcoholic beverages from the apartment, and all medicines containing alcohol. He knows I am always available for him if he needs to talk / vent, but he's going to have to learn how to let thing's out without having a few drinks first. He has been going to AA meetings every night and is extremely dedicated to staying sober.

Is there anything specific I can do when he has a rough day to help him get through this?

Thanks

ClaretandBlue

Good for him, and good for you as well. I'm sure he'll get to a point where he'll express his gratitude for your friendship and support.

You need to be careful to not get too wrapped up in your friend's recovery. You've done a lot, and I think the best thing you could do now is to take a step back, and just be there if he needs you. He needs to learn how to function on his own throughout his recovery. It's like riding a bike, training wheels are very helpful tools, but they need to come off at some point, or else he's not really riding the bike.

Coming from someone in his position, I know he appreciates your help and support, and he's glad you're there.

TakingCharge999

Hi RaiRai, I agree, you have already done enough.

After moving out from an alcoholic ex boyfriend's home, a caring soul (a girl friend I had not seen in years) opened up her home to me. She was there when I cried or needed to talk, but mainly, what helped me get out from my depression was that she enjoyed HER life so much! she had gone through a depression herself, that almost kills her. Now she enjoys life at the fullest and is very happy. Although tired, she always made time to grab a coffee with friends, go to the movies, call the odd friend, visit her family, email remote friends, cook, buy simple stuff that made her happy and even thread scarves, LOL.

She is in Australia now and I see what she left lives in me, now I am becoming like her, I am inspired by her and we always joke she left her clone here... me! The funny thing is that I never noticed she was helping me that way, sometimes I "envied" her as while I was devastated, HER life was smooth.. but now I see she helped me a lot, directly and indirectly!

Live your own great life, that is the best gift you can give anyone !

Ago

Best thing you can do is treat him normally, stay out of his "recovery" and kick him out if he relapses.

Seriously, trust me on this one.

Bernadette

Do fun stuff together!
Be a friend.
Keep your own side of the street clean and leave him to his!

It sounds like that's what you're already doing - I know my codie side is kickin' in when I get the strong urge to "do something" to help the alcoholic! I find it's best if I just do my own thing and let the universe do its thing!

A very good friend of mine found AA and sobriety 10 years ago - the first few months he was a basket case and I remember doing a lot of nodding and "oh" ing!

Then at his one year anniversary he invited me to his home meeting and he was the speaker and it was so awesome. And from then on he shares stuff with me about AA and recovery pretty freely...so my learning how to deal with the new him just sort of unfolded naturally by me just staying out of the way until invited to "do something!"

peace-
b