LilyMarie

I don't even *really* know when that defining moment happened this weekend where I was like, "oh, dammit! I'm going to drink."

I didn't do anything stupid, but I drank enough over a few days this long weekend and now I'm back to square one and feel horrible even logging onto this site.

But alas, tomorrow's a brand-new day (I drank after midnight last night so I'm not even at 24 hours) and while I feel absolutely defeated at the moment, I think this time tomorrow I'll be more clear-headed and feeling better.

Wednesday

Sorry to hear that but you are only human and we all make mistakes.

Anna

I'm glad that you're back and trying LilyMarie!

grateful2b

yes, good that you are back....the only failure is in not trying...

LilyMarie

Thanks, everyone. The support and good thoughts are very appreciated.

ADayAtATime

Lily,
I'm right there with you...Day 1 for me as well.
We can do this together.
XOXO

tanyapmc

I'm glad your back and look forward to hearing from you soon.

LilyMarie

Yes, I believe we CAN! Best wishes and hang in there.

Wolfchild

Keep moving forward, one day at a time.

keithj

You both just proved that you couldn't. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm not saying it to be mean.

I talked to a guy a couple weeks ago. He showed up at a meeting (a good, solution based meeting) fresh out of rehab. It was his seventh rehab (not detox) stay that year. Says he spent over 100K on rehabs this past year. I had seen this guy before, a few months ago, stumble in drunk to another meeting I was at. (Yeah, I know, God has a plan for the 2 of us). Anyway, after this meeting I talked to him and asked him if he knew what was different about this time as opposed to the previous 6 times to treatment.

When he didn't have an answer to that, I told him that nothing was different. I suggested he try something different.

Having others who are right where you are to understand and support you is a very nice thing. Having a solution to your problem is even better.

tommyk

"Having others who are right where you are to understand and support you is a very nice thing. Having a solution to your problem is even better."

I agree. I am a 'tough love' kind of friend.

First, realize that you made a conscious & willing CHOICE to drink (and there weren't any banana peels around to 'slip' on ).

Second, try to figure out WHY you made that CHOICE and WHAT you are going to do differently to be sure you don't make that CHOICE again.

Congrats on coming back, get back on the sobriety horse and ride.

CarolD

Glad you decided to make another start

SurviveIt

You can do it! Don't let this defeat you.

Mary52

Glad you're back.

LilyMarie

Hmm...maybe there *was* an errant banana peel around! ;P

Regardless, I truly understand I made the choice, and wasn't under any pressure by anyone else, or any 'extenuating' circumstances.

But yes, I am feeling better today and not kicking myself as hard as yesterday. Thinking a lot about what happened and yes, as you wrote, am thinking how to not make this same mistake twice.

Thanks.

ClaretandBlue

Good job on starting up again! Not sure if you've attended AA meetings or not, but depending on where you are in Chicago, I can recommend a few good ones. Best of luck!

123bubblegum123

Lily,

I'm proud of you for being honest and admitting you relapsed. Welcome back to sobriety, and please appreciate your safety. I'm happy you weren't hurt physically this past weekend!

hugs & support,
Rach