To Love a Human Being - by Ph. D. Martin Villanueva
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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To Love a Human Being - by Ph. D. Martin Villanueva
Hello!
The following was written by my mom's psychologist, a rather famous one in my city. He gave me permission to translate this here. Hope nothing much was lost in translation!
This is just the first paragraph, I will be adding the others soon.
To Love a Human Being
To love a human being is to accept the opportunity to truly know her, enjoy the adventure of exploring and discovering what she hides beyond her masks and defenses; contemplate with tenderness her most profound feelings, her fears, her lack of affection, her hopes and joys, her pain and hopes; to understand that, behind her mask and armor, there is a sensitive and solitary heart, hungry for a friendly hand and a sincere smile in which it can feel at home; to recognize -with respectful compassion- that disharmony and chaos in which she lives sometimes are the product of her human ignorance and unconsciousness; to realize that, if she is sowing misfortune, it is because she is learning to reap happiness, and in ocassions she feels so void, so devoid of direction and purpose, that she is not even able to trust herself; to discover and honor, above any superficiality, her True Self and to appreciate, in all honesty, her infinite grandeur as a forever-changing, unique and unrepeatable expression of Life.
The following was written by my mom's psychologist, a rather famous one in my city. He gave me permission to translate this here. Hope nothing much was lost in translation!
This is just the first paragraph, I will be adding the others soon.
To Love a Human Being
To love a human being is to accept the opportunity to truly know her, enjoy the adventure of exploring and discovering what she hides beyond her masks and defenses; contemplate with tenderness her most profound feelings, her fears, her lack of affection, her hopes and joys, her pain and hopes; to understand that, behind her mask and armor, there is a sensitive and solitary heart, hungry for a friendly hand and a sincere smile in which it can feel at home; to recognize -with respectful compassion- that disharmony and chaos in which she lives sometimes are the product of her human ignorance and unconsciousness; to realize that, if she is sowing misfortune, it is because she is learning to reap happiness, and in ocassions she feels so void, so devoid of direction and purpose, that she is not even able to trust herself; to discover and honor, above any superficiality, her True Self and to appreciate, in all honesty, her infinite grandeur as a forever-changing, unique and unrepeatable expression of Life.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
To love a human being is to give her the opportunity to be listened with full attention, interest and respect; accept her experience without pretending to modify it, but understand it; offer her a space in your own heart in which she can revel herself without fear of being judged; where she feels trust to open up without feeling forced to show anything she considers private; it is to recognize and show her that she has the inalienable right to choose her own path eventhough it does not match with yoursl to allow her to discover her own inner truth by herself, at her own rythm, in her own wayl appreciate her without conditions, without judgment or disapproval; without asking her to mold herself to your ideal fantasies; without demanding her to act according to what you expect; to value her for who she is; not for who you wish she were; to trust her capacity to learn from her mistakes and rise from her most challenging falls stronger and mature; to communicate your faith and trust as an individual.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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To love a human being is to dare to show yourself without defensiveness; poses or masks; revealing your honest, transparent truth; to discover your own feelings, your vulnerable areas, infront of her; to allow her to know you as you truly are without pre-fabricated attitudes to cause a favorable impression; to share with her your desires and needs without waiting her to be responsible to fulfill them; to express your ideas without pretending to convince her that they are correct; to enjoy the privilege to be yourself without asking for recognition and in this way, finding yourself in ways that are always new and different; to be true: trascend fear and shame, tell her with a pure, inmaculate glance: "This is me, at this moment in my life, and this is who I am. With joy and by my free will, I will share it with you.. if you want to receive it"
Last edited by TakingCharge999; 05-23-2009 at 02:34 PM.
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To love a human being is to have the good fortune of voluntary commitment, in the first place, with your own self- to solve and transcend every single conflict or personal attachments that could be obstacles on the free flow of the relationship; secondly, to be there for her actively regarding her needs and personal development; to believe in her when she is doubting herself; to spread your vitality and enthusiasm when she is about to give up; support her when she stumbles; cheer her up when she is unmotivated; take her by the hand firmly when she feels weak and touch her sweetly when something makes her sad without letting yourself be washed down by heer sadness; to share the present moment for the simple joy of being together; without ties; without self-imposed obligations; without demands, dependencies or self-absorbed attitudes... just for the spontaneous decision of being there for her... just for today.
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Now Agent 99
your mission, should you decide to accept it....
Is to become this, not look for it.
Then, once you are self fulfilled, and don't need it from your "outsides" because you have it in your "insides", it will appear in your life.
"Renounce the garment of the Lord and receive it back as your gift"
Lovely writings
your mission, should you decide to accept it....
Is to become this, not look for it.
Then, once you are self fulfilled, and don't need it from your "outsides" because you have it in your "insides", it will appear in your life.
"Renounce the garment of the Lord and receive it back as your gift"
Lovely writings
A jug fills drop by drop
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks I am glad I posted this, writing it has helped me 
I am still missing a few paragraphs. Coming up!
Thanks Ago! Exactly, that is why I put "she" instead of "he"... because most of the posters on this forum are women and the intent is to give yourself all that love... if I used "he" it could have been looked at differently-
I prefer it this way, in a "she" because it feels closer to the love I am starting to allow myself
Seems what I lived before was not love, it had nothing to do with love and everything to do with need. I am glad that stage of my life is over and I am starting a much healthier, fulfilling path.
Loving ourselves is the work of a lifetime!!
I am still missing a few paragraphs. Coming up!Thanks Ago! Exactly, that is why I put "she" instead of "he"... because most of the posters on this forum are women and the intent is to give yourself all that love... if I used "he" it could have been looked at differently-
I prefer it this way, in a "she" because it feels closer to the love I am starting to allow myself
Seems what I lived before was not love, it had nothing to do with love and everything to do with need. I am glad that stage of my life is over and I am starting a much healthier, fulfilling path.
Loving ourselves is the work of a lifetime!!
A jug fills drop by drop
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Continued:
To love a human being is to be humble and honest enough to receive her tenderness and affection without representing the role of one who does need anything; quite the contrary: it is to recognize and show how much you need her tenderness and caring; to communicate the importance of what she gives you; to gladly accept what she offers without manipulating her to give you what she is not able or not willing to give you; to thank Life for the honor of her existence; to feel her presence as an authentic blessing along your path. To enjoy the experience knowing that each day is an uncertain adventure and tomorrow is unknown; to live each moment as if it was the very last one that you will share with her, savoring it intensely, learning from each experience, assimilating them without rush, without standarized plans or pre programmed ideas of how things should be like; without pretending to cross the bridge before reaching it; all this while knowing very well that you need to do everything needed to open up and surrender to true love; very conscious about the fact that its sacred fire needs to be taken care of and nurtured daily; to throw yourself to the experience with such deepness that every reencounter is as intense and meaningful as if it was the very first time you take her by the hand; to transform the quotidian into a new, different miracle.
To love a human being is to be humble and honest enough to receive her tenderness and affection without representing the role of one who does need anything; quite the contrary: it is to recognize and show how much you need her tenderness and caring; to communicate the importance of what she gives you; to gladly accept what she offers without manipulating her to give you what she is not able or not willing to give you; to thank Life for the honor of her existence; to feel her presence as an authentic blessing along your path. To enjoy the experience knowing that each day is an uncertain adventure and tomorrow is unknown; to live each moment as if it was the very last one that you will share with her, savoring it intensely, learning from each experience, assimilating them without rush, without standarized plans or pre programmed ideas of how things should be like; without pretending to cross the bridge before reaching it; all this while knowing very well that you need to do everything needed to open up and surrender to true love; very conscious about the fact that its sacred fire needs to be taken care of and nurtured daily; to throw yourself to the experience with such deepness that every reencounter is as intense and meaningful as if it was the very first time you take her by the hand; to transform the quotidian into a new, different miracle.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
To love a human being is to dare to express affection spontaneously through your eyes, your gestures and smiles, through the firm and genlte touch, through a tight hug, through a kiss, through simple and frank words; to make her know and feel how much you value her for who she is, how much you appreciate her qualities; even those she has not discovered in herself yet; to know her potential and collaborate to make the seed flourish inside herself; to make her feel that her personal development matters to you; that she can count on you; to allow her to discover her creative capacities and motivate her to take them as far as she can; to show her the treasure she herself carries inside and cooperate together to make this life a richer, more meaningful experience.
PS: Two other paragraphs to go, but this typist is tired!
PS: Two other paragraphs to go, but this typist is tired!
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