Iriss

Hey, Ive been away for a while, drinking more and more, every route to try to quit fails, I feel quite helpless at present, and where I felt I had a little control previously is now slipping away quickly. I want to drink earlier and earlier in the day just to not feel. I wonder if any of you could share a few words on this helpless feeling as its becoming quite overwhelming. Thanks so much x x

Anna

Hi Iriss,

Yes, the helpless feeling can be completely overwhelming. I felt at times, like my world was quickly spinning out of control, and it was. You can learn to deal with the feelings, you really can. Stop drinking today and get through the day. Just takes things as they are, and you can do this.

FizzyWater

There is only two ways to get rid of that feeling Iriss................

one as you know is to take another drink, trouble with that though is the feeling will come back tomorrow and the next day and the next, you get deeper into the circle and it feels there is no way out, I know cos I've been there.

The other way is to stop drinking, yes you'll feel crap today and probably for the next few days but unlike the first way I've suggested you will gradually start to feel better and things will get easier, again I've gone through that too.

It won't feel like it just now but staying sober is possible, don't set yourself any big goals, take a day at a time, get plenty rest and find something you enjoy doing to take your mind off things.

Good luck

serenityqueen

When I was still drinking, I felt like everything in my life was hopeless. . . I thought I was just a hopeless, pitiful person who had no hopes of ever being happy. I had made many, many attempts at getting and staying Clean & Sober without much luck. When I finally had enough and surrendered, that was when I was willing to go to any length to get clean and stay clean. I went into detox, told the Doctor and Nurses just to tell me what to do and I would do it. I was, as the expression says, sick and tired of being sick and tired. I started drinking earlier and earlier each day too and with it came nothing but more misery.

I know the main reason that all of my other attempts failed was because I tried to work my own kind of Program of Recovery. I went to AA Meetings, but I didn't work the Steps, I didn't get a Sponsor and I sure wasn't buying into the Higher Power stuff. I had to completely surrender and follow what had worked for millions of others. In July, I will celebrate 4 years Happy, Joyous & Free.

Have you spoken to your Doctor about this? You may be suffering from Clinical Depression which meds may help. I have been on Prozac for years and have had great results with it.
God Bless,
Judy

four812

You can do it. for me i finally came to a point where I wanted to stay clean more than I wanted to use. I sometimes want to use...but my desire to stay clean remains stronger.



i'm left with 2 questions for you:

how many routes to sobriety have you tried?

how far have you pursued those routes?

Iriss

Thank you so much for all of your kind words. I dont feel I need a doctor at present, I have suffered with depression and know the signs, however I feel pretty lost for the correct path or programme to follow as there are so many.

adore79

It sounds like you cant quit on your own so you need help, any help. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get sober? If so, just go to an AA meeting and ask for help, you will get it.

michelle01

Most of us get to the point where we think 'It's hopeless, I can't do this on my own anymore.' but that can be a real catalyst for positive change. For me, as Judy states, it was a great relief to finally be able to 'hand it over' and surrender.

The feelings of failure we can get can really drive us down and yes, see us spiral into a condition than was even worse to begin with, which is frightening and so we just drink more to try to keep that fear at bay. But if we can begin to understand the process, then there is hope. I've just posted this on another thread but will put it again here: Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse - Alcohol and Drug Information

CarolD

michelle01.....that is a very useful link for PAWS
Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome.

Glad to see you have read it too....

CarolD

Iris.....

I too was on that misery-go-round of drinking/depression
depression/drinking. It's an awful way to live.

After being diagnosed with situational depression....
.I d decided to check out local AA meetings.
That's how I did break the cycle.


Hope you find your way.....you too can win over alcohol

tommyk

"I wonder if any of you could share a few words on this helpless feeling as its becoming quite overwhelming."

Try things that you think won't work. Your thinking keeps you where you are.

Get out of your 'comfort zone'.

Resolve to stop being a 'helpless victim' and take some steps toward recovery.

Got to AA meetings and report back here why they don't/won't work for you. Be sure to go to 10 or so meetings before you stop researching why AA won't work though - be comprehensive.

SurviveIt

I don't know what to tell you, but I've been there... very recently.

I've got three strong days of sobriety under my belt now, and I feel great. If you're feeling helpless, one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is resolving to take control of your life again, beginning (but not ending) with kicking the habit.

Hevyn

Iriss, I know how impossible it seems to think of laying it down, but you must. There's no other way to regain control of your life. It isn't as if drinking is making you happy or carefree! I was where you are, I never thought I would be free. I couldn't face the reality of what I had allowed my life to become. Yet the more years I spent anesthetized, the worse things were getting. I knew I had to put a halt to it or I was facing an early death. I had been drinking over 25 yrs. when I finally came here and felt hope once again. There's no magic shortcut to take, you just have to get the poison out of your system - then you can begin to heal and have a whole new life.

nelco

HI IRISS.......How are you, I only noticed this thread now. Sorry I missed it.I was on holiday ... I hope you are in a better space today. I missed you!!

keithj

Iriss,

When I felt so hopeless (not helpless, but I suppose I felt that way too) that I didn't think I could live another day, I called a guy who knew how to work AA's steps. Met him that day, started working steps that week, had a spiritual awakening as the result of working those steps, and I recovered from that hopeless condition.

I didn't take that path until I had exhausted every other option of anti-depressants, doctors, counselors, treatment, rehab. My suggestion would be to cut to the chase and get a hold of AA today. My shift for the local hotline starts in a couple hours and the lines are open 24/7. The same thing probably exists in your area.

No excuses. Call them now.

ClosetExtrovert

Maybe it's like Divine Discontent. It's what finally makes you take action. It's the piece of sand that becomes a pearl.
But without it, you wouldn't change.
I'm sending you good healing vibes

Tazman53

Oh yea, I know that hopeless feeling, that hopeless feeling gave me a GIFT!!!

The Gift Of Desperation!!!!

For me that was the turning point! That was when I was willing to admit that I had no idea how to even get sober, little lone stay sober!

I became willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober

I went to a doctor and he suggested I go into detox.

I was desperate, I went into detox and detox got me physically sober, but I still felt the urge to drink even though I wanted to quit!

In detox they told me that if I wanted a chance to stay sober to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor!

I was desperate, so I went to more then 90 AA meetings in 90 days and I got a sponsor. The folks in AA told me if I wanted a chance at happy long term sobriety to take the steps with my sponsor.

I was desperate, so I took the steps with my sponsor!

Guess what? It worked! Just like it has for hundreds of thousands of others.

I wanted what those folks in AA had, I did what those folks in AA did to get it, and I got it!

I am free!!! Free of the bonds of my alcoholism & free to live life on lifes terms.

Are you desperate?

If the answer is yes do not make excuses, try what I & hundreds of thousands of others have done.

What are you going to lose if you try it? The way you are right now!

What could you gain if you did honestly try it? Life itself, a new life, free of the bondage of your alcoholism.

Wolfchild

It appears that you have two choices;
1. You could go to a Detox and let them help you.
2. You could go to the bar and continue drinking.

i won't tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
i can only share that abstinence works for me.

If this is part of your process to reach a point of utter desperation and complete surrender,
then i hope you do not wait too long before making a healthy decision regarding your life.

Charmie

hello iriss ansd welcome.my story in a nutshell,drank alcoholicaly for 20 yrs,my life was was disaster after another.i remember that feeling you have,i had it on a daily basis for many years,i functioned for some of that time but ultimately booze had me and i was obssessed.it took over my life.that misery of just living for booze is not that far away for me.my sober date is the 7th february this year.i had been in AA before and knew what it was about and knew it was my only hope.my way did not work,hadnt all my life.so i had to surrender,give up,throw in the towel.concede that booze had me beat.not only that i didnt want to live the life of a hopless drunk anymore.my drinking time got earlier and earlier until at the end i was drinking whenever my eyes were open and i wasnt unconscious.sometimes this meant having my eyes shut only for 4 hour periods sometimes in 48 hours.i got to AA got a sponsor and im working the steps.its not about booze anymore and sometimes in the early days it can be white knuckle.working the steps takes focus away from all this and means you can start living a happy,useful life.it gives us tools to cope with the everyday stuff and beyond! my life has changed beyond recognition in a very short space of time.i urge you to give it a go,,honestly.if you want to stop there is help.sr is a wonderful support network and i have made many friends here and got plenty of helpful suggestions.please keep us posted and if i can be of any help to you please just ask.i wish you well and you are in my prayers.you dont have to feel hopeless any more,there is a solution.:ghug