So upset
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
So upset
Hi guys, I am so upset that I'm shaking. I haven't been this mad in i don't know how long. All i got to say is that I'm so grateful that I'm over a year sober or i would of went to the nearest bar an hour ago.
I've been crying the past hour here. I got a pack of cigarettes so there went my 2 weeks smoke free. But like I said I'm sober. I'm just waiting for 7:30 to get here to go to my meeting.
My husband is who upset me. He never tells me anything. We just had our gas turn off. The lady came to the door saying we haven't payed since Feb. I didn't know anything about it and felt like an idiot. I guess he was on the phone with them this morning. Who knows. I know nothing. :wtf2
I don't understand why he doesn't tell me anything anymore. I was so pissed at him and yell at him that if he wants to play that game I can play too and not tell him anything either.
He see's me typing on here now. Oh, well.
Well, I'm gonna take a shower to cool off. Be back latter.
I've been crying the past hour here. I got a pack of cigarettes so there went my 2 weeks smoke free. But like I said I'm sober. I'm just waiting for 7:30 to get here to go to my meeting.
My husband is who upset me. He never tells me anything. We just had our gas turn off. The lady came to the door saying we haven't payed since Feb. I didn't know anything about it and felt like an idiot. I guess he was on the phone with them this morning. Who knows. I know nothing. :wtf2
I don't understand why he doesn't tell me anything anymore. I was so pissed at him and yell at him that if he wants to play that game I can play too and not tell him anything either.
He see's me typing on here now. Oh, well.
Well, I'm gonna take a shower to cool off. Be back latter.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,470
Oh Scaredykat, I'm so sorry that has happened.
Maybe after you calm down, you can have an open talk with your husband and find out why he kept that information from you. Did he have the misguided idea that he was protecting you from something?
Stay strong, Barb!
Maybe after you calm down, you can have an open talk with your husband and find out why he kept that information from you. Did he have the misguided idea that he was protecting you from something?
Stay strong, Barb!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Thanks Anna.
I have no idea. He is bad at telling me things with the bills. Money is tight now. He's unemployed right now until June. The whole plant shut down for the month of May.
I have told him in the past that he has to tell me things. If something did happen to him, i don't know where anything is, what's payed, what's not. His desk looks like a tornado stuck it. I don't know how he finds anything.
I have no idea. He is bad at telling me things with the bills. Money is tight now. He's unemployed right now until June. The whole plant shut down for the month of May.
I have told him in the past that he has to tell me things. If something did happen to him, i don't know where anything is, what's payed, what's not. His desk looks like a tornado stuck it. I don't know how he finds anything.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
As frustrating as this may be, it is just another blessing in disguise.
There are so many benefits to going through something like this AND staying committed to your recovery! We often learn far more about ourselves and our Higher Power in the middle of temporary difficulties that it's entirely worth it. It gives us the experience, strength, and hope so we can pass on to others who need it.
You are right where you need to be and are making progress!!
There are so many benefits to going through something like this AND staying committed to your recovery! We often learn far more about ourselves and our Higher Power in the middle of temporary difficulties that it's entirely worth it. It gives us the experience, strength, and hope so we can pass on to others who need it.
You are right where you need to be and are making progress!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 118
Gosh, that's rough. You're sure not alone in having these sorts of problems these days. I'm flying by the seat of my pants myself.
I guess one way of thinking about it is that remaining on your path to recovery can't hurt anything, but drinking/using certainly can hurt things.
I guess one way of thinking about it is that remaining on your path to recovery can't hurt anything, but drinking/using certainly can hurt things.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I wonder, like Anna, if maybe your husband thought he was somehow protecting you. Maybe when you cool off you guys can sit down and talk about it. I'm sorry to hear about your financial situation, Barb.
I'm glad to hear you plan on hitting a meeting. You can get through this with your sobriety intact. In fact, keeping your sobriety intact will ensure you get through it.
It's good to see you sharing this stuff, Barb.
I'm glad to hear you plan on hitting a meeting. You can get through this with your sobriety intact. In fact, keeping your sobriety intact will ensure you get through it.
It's good to see you sharing this stuff, Barb.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 164
He might be embarassed and just feel bad about it hoping he can work it out before something happens.....which it did this time. Marriage is a partnership, I know, but just a thought on where he might be coming from, too. Give it to God. I hope things work out well for you both.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I agree ..Maybe he does feel bad about being unemployed right now.
But communication is very important.
When you calm down. Hopefully you guys can talk and get on the same page.
I am so sorry. I am sending my thoughts.
(((Barb)))
But communication is very important.
When you calm down. Hopefully you guys can talk and get on the same page.
I am so sorry. I am sending my thoughts.
(((Barb)))
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Glad you told us about this, it'll help take the sting out of it. My husband does similar things all the time. He does it because he "doesn't want to upset me"! Not realizing that I am 10 times more upset for being kept in the dark. I hope you'll feel better, Barb. Love you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 4,038
I am so sorry this happened to you, scaredykat. You are doing the right thing by going to a meeting. Please don't try to discuss anything with your husband until you have calmed down some. I will keep you in my prayers.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Wow, it's amazing the power of AA and my HP has. I feel so much better. I went to my step meeting tonight, and I feel at peace again tonight. What happen; happened. My husband and I talked and kissed and made up.
If I was still drinking I would of still been in a rage tonight and getting really trashed. When I drank and my husband upset me, I use to throw things, break things, and yes i have even hit him in the past. I don't think i ever shared that on here before. God, that's embarrassing.
He told me that he probably was trying to protect me from worrying. He did it all the time when I drank. I didn't want to know about the bills back then.
This time around he told me it was just an honest mistake. He forgot all about the gas bill. We had help a few months ago with local program where they payed some of it, so my husband forgot about it when he had to pay again. He payed the bill today and our gas is going to be turn on again tomorrow. We do have to pay a fee to turn it on again. Only $13. I'm surprise it's so low.
So anyway, thank you everyone for being here and helping me. I guess it's just another life experience to learn sober. Maybe another test from my HP. He does tend to do that every now and then.
If I was still drinking I would of still been in a rage tonight and getting really trashed. When I drank and my husband upset me, I use to throw things, break things, and yes i have even hit him in the past. I don't think i ever shared that on here before. God, that's embarrassing.
He told me that he probably was trying to protect me from worrying. He did it all the time when I drank. I didn't want to know about the bills back then.
This time around he told me it was just an honest mistake. He forgot all about the gas bill. We had help a few months ago with local program where they payed some of it, so my husband forgot about it when he had to pay again. He payed the bill today and our gas is going to be turn on again tomorrow. We do have to pay a fee to turn it on again. Only $13. I'm surprise it's so low.
So anyway, thank you everyone for being here and helping me. I guess it's just another life experience to learn sober. Maybe another test from my HP. He does tend to do that every now and then.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Update - Still NO GAS
Well, NYSEG was just here. We still have no gas. Unbelievable. My nerves are shot today. I'm still smoking, but at least i have no desire to pick up a drink. Thank god.
We have another problem. When we had to get another hot water tank in Jan, LOWES installed it wrong. No ventilation. We could of had carbon monoxide poisoning. So, I guess we're lucky we're alive. My husband has had bad headaches and sinus problems but we though it was just from him quiting smoking. I haven't felt ill or anything. So, that's a class A violation.
I wish I own a cell phone. I can't call none of my AA friends. We're waiting for LOWES to call back. Then NYSEG has to come over again to check their work. I'm worried it isn't gonna be fix right away. The weekend is almost here. So, I have no hot water again. Thank god it isn't winter or we would have no heat.
Thank God, i can come on here and talk to you guys anyway since i can't call anyone.
We have another problem. When we had to get another hot water tank in Jan, LOWES installed it wrong. No ventilation. We could of had carbon monoxide poisoning. So, I guess we're lucky we're alive. My husband has had bad headaches and sinus problems but we though it was just from him quiting smoking. I haven't felt ill or anything. So, that's a class A violation.
I wish I own a cell phone. I can't call none of my AA friends. We're waiting for LOWES to call back. Then NYSEG has to come over again to check their work. I'm worried it isn't gonna be fix right away. The weekend is almost here. So, I have no hot water again. Thank god it isn't winter or we would have no heat.
Thank God, i can come on here and talk to you guys anyway since i can't call anyone.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
So sorry about all this Barb...
It's easy for me to say, of course...but just "keep handing it up"...while "staying on top"
of the matter. God helps us, but did give us brains and a will to use for own protection
as well! The important thing..is that you are staying sober through this..and you
and you and your husband are not taking this stress out on one another.
I hope and pray these problems will be be resolved very soon.
I am proud of you, Barb. :ghug3:
It's easy for me to say, of course...but just "keep handing it up"...while "staying on top"
of the matter. God helps us, but did give us brains and a will to use for own protection
as well! The important thing..is that you are staying sober through this..and you
and you and your husband are not taking this stress out on one another.
I hope and pray these problems will be be resolved very soon.
I am proud of you, Barb. :ghug3:
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Oh man..That sucks.
Very very lucky you guys arent dead or really sick.
I would be talking to Lowe's corporate office about that one.
I am glad it is getting fixed.
See..put that one under things happen for a reason.
If your gas didnt get shut off. You wouldnt have known about that. And possibly worse could have happened.
I am so happy its gettin worked out and your ok.
Smoke em if you got em. You can always try again.
I am glad your staying sober. Thats so important and you have done so well.
Sendin hugs!!
Very very lucky you guys arent dead or really sick.
I would be talking to Lowe's corporate office about that one.
I am glad it is getting fixed.
See..put that one under things happen for a reason.
If your gas didnt get shut off. You wouldnt have known about that. And possibly worse could have happened.
I am so happy its gettin worked out and your ok.
Smoke em if you got em. You can always try again.
I am glad your staying sober. Thats so important and you have done so well.
Sendin hugs!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
I agree with that one IO about things happen for a reason. Scary. I still can't believe Lowe's done that and we never knew all this time.
Lowe's is supposed to be here at 5:00. We're getting bored sitting around not being able to go anywhere or do anything. I hope i make my meeting tonight. I told my husband if i have to I'll walk. It's about a 20 minute walk and it's a nice day today.
Lowe's is supposed to be here at 5:00. We're getting bored sitting around not being able to go anywhere or do anything. I hope i make my meeting tonight. I told my husband if i have to I'll walk. It's about a 20 minute walk and it's a nice day today.
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