How Did I Get Here??
I grew my wings to fly...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: STATE OF CONTENTMENT
Posts: 289
How Did I Get Here??
When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. Alexander Graham Bell.
I am reading, and nearing the end of the book How Did I Get Here? by Barbara De Angelis. This book is so insightful, and tends to cover what each of us are going through. Especially the inability to let go of what we can't control, and stop looking backwards.
Here is little snippets of the book, which I found quite positive for me to continue on my path minus the ABF (OK THE AXXXXXX BOYFRIEND!!!)
'Endings are an inevitable and essential part of growth. Without them, there can be no new beginnings. Remembering this, we find the courage to unclench our fists and LET GO. And when we do, when we finally release what we have been mourning, we discover a part of us has been changed forever. We have been marked by our pain, and sculpted by our losses. '
Somehow, our grief itself has carved us into a beautiful shape, and we emerge like a gem that has been painstakingly cut and faceted, now to reveal the exquisite, mysterious light that had always been trapped inside.
The obstacles in our path are not blocking us - they are redirecting us. Their purpose is not to interfere with our happiness; it is to point us toward new routes to our happiness, new possibilities, new doorways.
Turn around and turn away from where you've been and can no longer reside. Turn around and turn away from what has ended. Turn around and face what lies in front of you: the new path, the new destination, the new doors waiting to be opened.
Until you turn around, you wont see anything but the past with all of its disappointments. All you will see is what is no longer possible, no longer available. And this can make you feel despondent, defeated, and worst of all powerless.
Powerlessness is not being able to see any options. When you keep gazing at the past, you will not be able to see the future that is waiting for you. You will not see the possibilities that are available. You need to turn around and face forward.
I would love to type this entire book into this forum, but I dare say it would take me a lifetime, then that in itself would keep me facing away from the future. I am turning around and checking out what the world has to offer. Letting go of the what if he changes, what if he gets sober, what if it hurts like hell (as it already does), what if I have to be alone for another year (yee ha! I will then have more time to work on myself!) I am tired of living in the what if's of life, when it takes me away from looking at WHAT IS. If it is meant to be that he gets sober and becomes a stand up man, then it will be. While that is taking place I have a whole life to live. I have been in bondage over some type of abuse or another since I came out of the womb, it is time to shed that and be who I WANT TO BE!!
I hope you will read the book, it has so much to offer in ways of personal growth. You can go to the Barbara DeAngelis web site to read more about it.
I pray everyone is having a great day.
I am reading, and nearing the end of the book How Did I Get Here? by Barbara De Angelis. This book is so insightful, and tends to cover what each of us are going through. Especially the inability to let go of what we can't control, and stop looking backwards.
Here is little snippets of the book, which I found quite positive for me to continue on my path minus the ABF (OK THE AXXXXXX BOYFRIEND!!!)
'Endings are an inevitable and essential part of growth. Without them, there can be no new beginnings. Remembering this, we find the courage to unclench our fists and LET GO. And when we do, when we finally release what we have been mourning, we discover a part of us has been changed forever. We have been marked by our pain, and sculpted by our losses. '
Somehow, our grief itself has carved us into a beautiful shape, and we emerge like a gem that has been painstakingly cut and faceted, now to reveal the exquisite, mysterious light that had always been trapped inside.
The obstacles in our path are not blocking us - they are redirecting us. Their purpose is not to interfere with our happiness; it is to point us toward new routes to our happiness, new possibilities, new doorways.
Turn around and turn away from where you've been and can no longer reside. Turn around and turn away from what has ended. Turn around and face what lies in front of you: the new path, the new destination, the new doors waiting to be opened.
Until you turn around, you wont see anything but the past with all of its disappointments. All you will see is what is no longer possible, no longer available. And this can make you feel despondent, defeated, and worst of all powerless.
Powerlessness is not being able to see any options. When you keep gazing at the past, you will not be able to see the future that is waiting for you. You will not see the possibilities that are available. You need to turn around and face forward.
I would love to type this entire book into this forum, but I dare say it would take me a lifetime, then that in itself would keep me facing away from the future. I am turning around and checking out what the world has to offer. Letting go of the what if he changes, what if he gets sober, what if it hurts like hell (as it already does), what if I have to be alone for another year (yee ha! I will then have more time to work on myself!) I am tired of living in the what if's of life, when it takes me away from looking at WHAT IS. If it is meant to be that he gets sober and becomes a stand up man, then it will be. While that is taking place I have a whole life to live. I have been in bondage over some type of abuse or another since I came out of the womb, it is time to shed that and be who I WANT TO BE!!
I hope you will read the book, it has so much to offer in ways of personal growth. You can go to the Barbara DeAngelis web site to read more about it.
I pray everyone is having a great day.
Last edited by GiveLove; 05-19-2009 at 08:23 AM.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,908
Thank you for posting this. I have copied these and forwarded them to my daughter. She most definitely needs some positive reinforcement. I think I'll go over to Barnes & Noble at lunch and pick up that book. Thanks again!
I grew my wings to fly...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: STATE OF CONTENTMENT
Posts: 289
suki, you are welcome. With anything, the person reading the book, post, bible, etc, etc, will have to have the DESIRE to change where they are at. I had my co-dependent no more book for 2 years before I read it. I was like, what? me, I am the one with the CONTROL problems.. huh! Please! so I didn't read it. (although I BOUGHT IT FOR MYSELF!). It has been the MOST difficult transformation in my life to have gone from where I was, to where I am at now. I still stumble. My darn heart bleeds for this man (the AXBF!) but I can bleed out on the floor and he would step over me for the bottle. WOW, I admitted that!
I have slowly evicted negative people from my life. Hard, when some of them are family members. I have to have peace of mind, and heart in my life. My tolerance for this upheaval is so little that I have made some pretty big decisions. BUT I MADE THEM FOR MYSELF!!!
Good luck, I pray your daughter reads the book. My best friend bought the book for me, it was the BEST book I have read out of the 100+ I have read regarding self improvement over the last year.
I have slowly evicted negative people from my life. Hard, when some of them are family members. I have to have peace of mind, and heart in my life. My tolerance for this upheaval is so little that I have made some pretty big decisions. BUT I MADE THEM FOR MYSELF!!!
Good luck, I pray your daughter reads the book. My best friend bought the book for me, it was the BEST book I have read out of the 100+ I have read regarding self improvement over the last year.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thank you FreeBird, I will ask my dad for it as he lives in Austin, here libraries suck!! and I do not think they have an international selection...
You are doing well, I know you will get far because your commitment to your emotional health shows and because you take action. Mourning an alcoholic is complex and here you are growing from it all and looking at the bright side. In MY book, you are totally a winner
You are doing well, I know you will get far because your commitment to your emotional health shows and because you take action. Mourning an alcoholic is complex and here you are growing from it all and looking at the bright side. In MY book, you are totally a winner
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