eyemitalian0312

For those of you that know about the Intensive Outpatient Program. I am starting on my 3rd week of this and had a relapse last night. Back to day one and so frustrated after 29 days sober. I will mention at my group tonight about this relapse. Should I be expecting that they will make me stay in this program longer or do they allow a relapse. This program is supposed to be alcohol free. Should I expect that they may kick me out? This is my last week in the program. Thanks all.

suki44883

The same thing happened to me. My IOP group was great about it. Yes, they did add another week to my program, but were all very supportive.

tommyk

Hopefully they will be supportive.

Are you doing anything else except IOP?

Tazman53

I would hope they do not kick you out!! I know in AA if some one slips they are more then welcome back.

Believe808

Are you going to AA meetings besides your IOP? I have seen people in the rooms who went back out while attending IOP, they weren't kicked out just had more time added. IOP is not a substitute of AA meetings. Welcome back!!!

eyemitalian0312

I have been attending about one AA meeting a week, along with this group 3 times a week. After getting out of the IOP, I plan on using those now free days for AA meetings. I am just so scared to death to tell them about my lapse, I'm actually thinking of not telling them. Our insurance won't cover another week and I don't want to get kicked out.

Believe808

Do you think they won't know? And are you working a sober program by not being honest. We need to be honest with ourselves and others if we want to remain sober. If it was me, I would be totally honest with my counselor and whatever the consequences well that's why they are called consequences. Pray for guidance. Good luck and be kind to yourself.

marty888

Personally I would tell them about your slip, I believe that only if we are honest with ourselves and other can we recover. I know I lied enough for more than a lifetime when I was drinking .

Tazman53

Being sober means living the truth, I quit lying when I quit drinking. I have found that the truth has set me free, if there are consequences to be paid that is the price of drinking.

Staying sober is not easy, the less baggage we have to carry the easier it is, why lie? The only one that will pay the price for the lie is you.

flutter

Plus, is the IOP to help you in your recovery? Or were you sent there for another reason? If you're drinking, and attending IOP, I think that's the PERFECT place to talk about it, as you may not be applying everything you've learned, or need a bit more help than they've been trying to provide to you.. as the point is to get and stay sober, and you didn't.

IOPs that kick people out are pretty long gone, but you're right.. most used to be that way, seems silly to me as obviously if people are still drinking they need MORE help and not less.

Let us know how it goes!

eyemitalian0312

I was not ordered to go. It was something I decided to do myself. I hope you are right cause I really do not want to get the boot!

Tazman53

eyemitalian if they do give you the boot, which I would hope they don't. just throw it all into AA, I learned how to stay sober from alcoholics who knew how to stay sober, that is not to knock IOPs at all, they are a tremendous help, but I have really learned a lot more from people with years and years of staying sober.

The main thing I have actually learned in AA is how to live life on lifes terms and how to be comfortable in my own skin, the not drinking comes very easy after that. If one looks at the 12 steps only one of them mentions alcohol, the rest are about cleaning up our side of the street, keeping it clean and leading a good life.

serenityqueen

I seriously doubt that you will get kicked out of IOP for being honest about using. I have been in several different IOP and regular outpatient programs throughout my 25 year struggle to get clean and sober and never heard of anyone getting kicked out for being honest. I have seen a few people get released from IOP but this was because they repeatedly kept coming to group obviously high or drunk, they brought drugs or alcohol into the treatment center or had been warned many, many times that they needed to get serious about their Program.

This is the time to start getting honest. I would go to group with a false smile on my face, telling everyone that I hadn't used in X amt of time when the only person I was hurting by these lies was myself. I had to finally ask myself why I was in IOP in the first place, to get help with my drug and alcohol addiction. If we are physically sick and go to a medical doctor, do we or don't we share all of our symptoms so the doctor knows the best way to help us. The same goes with treatment for addiction. We have to share everything! Owning up to using isn't to be "punished or shamed" it's so we can get the additional help that we need. If you used, you probably need some more time in IOP. If you insurance won't pay for it, then possibly the place you are getting treatment can work something out. Worrying about what is or isn't covered really should not be an issue. How often did the money situation stop us from using? Not too often, we found a way.

I hope that you don't beat yourself up over this. I had let the guilt of relaping keep me sick for so many years. I have shared on here before that the nurses at the local hospital where I had went many, many times for detox would refer to me, (not to my face of course) as the Queen of Relapse. Everytime I hung my head in shame and went back to the hospital for yet another detox, I had never, ever shared every bit of the truth with the doctors or nurses. I would show back up at AA or NA Meetings, rarely admitting that I relapsed. I lied, made up excuses as to why I hadn't been to any Meetings there in several months. In July of 2005, the last time I went to detox, I realized that my way wasn't working. You see, I'm a stubborn drunk and dope fiend (lol) I thought that I knew what was best for me. Obviously my way didn't work at all. All of lies and secrets I held inside just kept me sick. I finally surrendered, I told the whole truth about everything and I cannot begin to tell you how freeing this was. . . to finally be competely honest about everything was such a relief.

I really hope that you go there tonight and be honest. Chances are, there will be at least one other person in the room that has used and was afraid to own up to it. Your courage and honesty just may be what they need to hear to help them as well.

Also, why wait until IOP is over to start going to Meetings more often? This is where you are going to build a lifetime of support, what will become your "safe place" I had to put as much, no, more time into my Recovery than I did into using. If you can get to a Meeting every day, that would be awesome. If not, just go as much as possible.

God Bless,
Judy

tommyk

My own ES&H shows me that long term sobriety is a lifestyle, and not just one AA meeting a week along with three IOP group sessions. Especially in early recovery - the whole day needs to be arranged around recovery, many days one after another.

But that's just me, that might not be true for anyone else.

I am often curious though when someone (not specifially pointing the finger at you) mentions they only have limited time for AA meetings... but they had unlimited time for drinking when they were drinking, and they somehow found the time to drink during early recovery instead of making a phone call, going to a meeting, or visiting a sober friend.

Please re-think your priorities, okay?

We all have another day of drinking/using in us, but we might not all have another day of recovery in us after that - death has a way of getting in the way.

Your recovery: make it happen.

Tazman53

Tommy funny you should mention When I was getting out of detox my counselor was asking me if was going to do the 90+ AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor and I started to balk at that. I told him, look I am going to go to AA meetings and get a sponsor but there is no way I can go to that many meetings in that amount of time, I work full time and I have a wife and kids (Barely). He then asked me if I was willing to spend as much time on AA and my recovery as I did drinking........................... Well of course I said yes because I wanted to stay sober and was willing to do what ever it took to stay sober.

Funny thing, I did more then 90 meetings in 90 days and actually spent more time with my wife and kids then I did when I was drinking! Oh yea & I stayed sober!!!

Sobriety was then and still is my #1 priority, because the second I put something in front of my sobriety, if I lose my sobriety I immediately lose what ever I put in front of my sobriety and a whole lot more.

Wolfchild

Please do not let any fears of the unknown make your decisions for you. There's a reason it's still true that "Honesty is the best policy". It's one thing to share about your situations and circumstances in early recovery. It's a life changing process in learning to accept responsibility for yourself. Going to meetings is a good way to start, but you still have to face life on Life's Terms no matter what you do or do not do. If you really want help in staying clean each day, it's as simple as asking for help from people who have found a new way to live without dependance on drugs or alcohol. Let the rubber hit the road!!

eyemitalian0312

I just wanted to follow up with my original post. I did go to IOP tonight and everyone was really great. I actually called the group leader earlier this afternoon to fill her in on my relapse. That took a huge load off and she explained that it was great to be honest, as all here have mentioned. It made going to the group so much easier, although I still had a ton of guilt and shame while talking about it to others in the group. I was not kicked out thank God. She didn't indicate and additional time to my discharge, although I never knew my discharge date to begin with. I'm guessing I will be there for the rest of this week and next. So thanks to all for the positive feedback!

serenityqueen

I'm glad you were honest, feels pretty darn good, doesn't it? My entire life was a lie when I was using. I had to tell lies to cover up for lies to cover up for lies. It was exhausting. . . it got to the point where I had no idea what the real truth was anymore.

Have you given any thought to more Meetings? IOP is such a small part of Recovery, it's like sticking your big toe in the swimming pool. AA is where you learn to swim and stay afloat! It's sink or swim. For me, I choose to swim!

God Bless & Remember, One Day at A Time,
Judy

Mary52

I am so glad it worked out well for you.