splendra

Well after he got out of jail he spent a few nights away and then he came back to get some stuff and did not leave. I was in and out during the day and saw that he was packing up his stuff which is fine.

He drags his feet and it is hard for me to keep saying leave. He is pouting right now cause I told him he need not get too comfortable.

He pushes hard and it is not fun to be back to this again. Why did he not get more time in jail? I am so sick of this cr@p. My brother has been gone this weekend so he has just made himself all comfy.

Why do I always have to be the bad guy?

JMFburns

Hang in there Splendra, I know what a constant battle it is.

I gotta believe that we CAN do this. Not alone, but with the help of our HP and our support network, we CAN do what needs to be done and continue on with our own lives.

My thoughts are with you.

Callie

Is he still there?? You're not the bad guy - he made the decisions, you're just following up with the consequences. I hope you don't let him get too comfortable - it's easy for us codies to backslide. Hugs to you.

NeedingHelp7

Praying Splendra..... he's waiting for you to change your mind.

splendra

Yea I know he is most likely hoping I will change my mind.God I just want it to end. I want him out of my life cause I am done.

justtired

You can do it Splendra. Think how good it felt when he was away. I'm guessing that he expects you to change your mind because you have in the past and he's using the same tactics that have worked before. He's not gonna understand when they don't work this time and he will not be happy. Hang in there. You are a strong person, you can make it through!

nytepassion

**********{Splendra}}}}}}

Addiction leaves us no choice but to be "the bad guy".

It is either that or continue to forfeit our peace, sanity and health over to their addiction.

I had to weight out my options of being a doormat or being the bad guy .. I chose the latter. Because truth is that the addict doesn't leave room for us to be anything else and in their manipulative opinion no matter what we do they paint us out to be that anyway. Kind of a catch 22 situation if ya ask me. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Can't win for losing.

I hit rock bottom before my husband did and I told him not to come home. It had been a long time coming, but I had let him stay for whatever reasons and I gave him chance after chance after chance to change and he obviously wasn't going to and actually had gotten worse.

I had to stand up and say "Enough is enough" and I have to stand my ground or else he would try to weasel his way back in and get all comfy cozy as if nothing had happened.

The only thing stopping him from doing plopping his butt back down in my house is ME.

I'm done. Had enough. No more and I mean it.

I don't care if I look like "the bad guy" it just doesn't matter. I don't care what his friends or his family thinks. I don't care if they know the truth or not. I don't care if he thinks it was all my fault. I don't care .. I don't care .. I don't care.

It doesn't matter. What matters is ME. The me that I have abandoned for him. The me that I let get buried under all his crap. The me that his addiction burned rubber on and took advantage of. The me that was so depressed that she could barely make it through the day. The me that sat home night after night while her husband was out drinking, using and sleeping with other women while I took care of our home, our children and lived in a fairy tale world that one day he would change and be my prince charming. I didn't matter to him then and I don't care if I matter to him now because I matter to ME.

And if that means I have to be painted out to be "the bad guy" then so be it. I'd much rather be the bad guy then force myself to put up with his addictions and the behavior that stems from them. Good riddance.

The truth is we're not bad guys at all. We are strong women who have found our backbones and are not going to settle for less then we want anymore ... because we know that when we settle for less .. we get even less then we settled for.

Enough is enough and when push comes to shove you will kick him out on his once and for all.

It is a process .. Not an event. You're getting there.

The areas where you feel you are weak will later turn out to be your greatest strengths cause you will turn around and use them to stand your ground without backing down.

Be the bad guy. It feels good

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Passion

splendra

I can use that line all day today.

justtired

Thank you for pointing this out. I keep trying to not be seen as the bad guy and can't seem to get it in my head that it's unavoidable...

Chino

You have the power to make it happen. The question is will you use it?

rose

I sure wish he got more jail time too! It was my saving grace when my husband was in jail...gave me the time to start to think clearly without him in my face, causing my head and heart to battle. They have such a way to break you down when are emotions are running high. Keep strong Splendra, block everything else out of your mind, make him leave!

Rose

splendra

Well my brother jumped in yesterday and stirred him up a little. I talked to him this morning about how I have been asking him to leave for 3 years and he keeps dragging his feet on this.

He sat out side and cried. I guess it is very painful for him to realize my love for him does not out weigh my desire for him to go or maybe it was a ploy to play me again but, I ain't biting......

justtired

Good for you!