Need for advice and info
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Lawndale NC
Posts: 2
Need for advice and info
Hello Everyone and bless you all who is in need,I too am in need of some help,and guidance.
I have a 48 year old sister that is a Alcoholic she will not try to get help,she says she doesn't have a problem with Beer,But she drinks everyday and all day.It's been like this for years,about years.You see she all the family I have left,My sister started drinking the day my daughter Amanda passed away.My daughter was 15 years old and she had brain tumors,we found out that Amanda had cancer when she was only 4 years old,then 2 years later we lost our father to cancer,then we our mom to cancer 3 years later,so you see it has been a battle for me.My sister lost her job years ago,and moved in with me and my husband,this has put a strain on us,because she doesn't want to try and find a job,she will take things out of the house.She lies about everything,and she thinks know body knows what she is going through.
All I want to do is smack her.I told her you didn't lose a child I did,she still just don't get it.It;s like she has just gave up.She doesn't care about herself,she don't want to take a bath but 1 a week if I am lucky.Any advice would be wonderful.I am at a lost. thank you for reading and bless you all.
I am blessed:}Paying it forward
I have a 48 year old sister that is a Alcoholic she will not try to get help,she says she doesn't have a problem with Beer,But she drinks everyday and all day.It's been like this for years,about years.You see she all the family I have left,My sister started drinking the day my daughter Amanda passed away.My daughter was 15 years old and she had brain tumors,we found out that Amanda had cancer when she was only 4 years old,then 2 years later we lost our father to cancer,then we our mom to cancer 3 years later,so you see it has been a battle for me.My sister lost her job years ago,and moved in with me and my husband,this has put a strain on us,because she doesn't want to try and find a job,she will take things out of the house.She lies about everything,and she thinks know body knows what she is going through.
All I want to do is smack her.I told her you didn't lose a child I did,she still just don't get it.It;s like she has just gave up.She doesn't care about herself,she don't want to take a bath but 1 a week if I am lucky.Any advice would be wonderful.I am at a lost. thank you for reading and bless you all.
I am blessed:}Paying it forward
Last edited by nacole15; 05-17-2009 at 07:25 AM. Reason: cant spell
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Nacole, welcome to SR! I am so sorry for all the losses in your life, and it sounds like you have your hands full with your sister.
I would highly encourage you to read the stickies at the top of this forum to further educate yourself on alcoholism. Also, considering checking into Alanon meetings in your area as you will find face-to-face support with others who have alcoholics in their lives.
I'd also like to recommend the book "Codepedent No More" by Melody Beattie. You may start to view things differently in your life.
Unfortunately your sister is not going to have any incentive to change her life at all because right now she has what she needs by living in your home.
I hope you continue to post, ask any questions you have, and know you are among friends!
:ghug :ghug
I would highly encourage you to read the stickies at the top of this forum to further educate yourself on alcoholism. Also, considering checking into Alanon meetings in your area as you will find face-to-face support with others who have alcoholics in their lives.
I'd also like to recommend the book "Codepedent No More" by Melody Beattie. You may start to view things differently in your life.
Unfortunately your sister is not going to have any incentive to change her life at all because right now she has what she needs by living in your home.
I hope you continue to post, ask any questions you have, and know you are among friends!
:ghug :ghug
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Lawndale NC
Posts: 2
Thanks freedom1990
Yes hands full.I want to find her some help but dont know where to being,we grew up around Alcoholic's my mothers brothers were all heavy drinkers.And they would get drunk on the weekends,I said I would never let the devil near my door I wanted something better in life and for my family.So now that the only family I have left is a alcoholic sister that is drinking her self to death,I just dont know what to do.I want to do tough love,you know put her out,But she has no place to go.I will ask a lot of question,and I hope someone can anwser them.And thank you all I need a lot of prayers.Have a blessed day
Paying it forward:}I am Blessed
Paying it forward:}I am Blessed
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
nacole,
She is an adult. The Salvation Army takes in alcoholics who are willing to work a program (not sure they take women?). Of all the problems we can have in life, I think alcoholism is one of the most represented as far as help available. Help is literally everywhere.
She'll either find it and use it, or she won't - and there's not a dang thing you can do about it either way.
But, there IS help out there for her so she DOES have some place to go.
You aren't your sisters keeper, maybe it's time she stood on her own two feet?
She is an adult. The Salvation Army takes in alcoholics who are willing to work a program (not sure they take women?). Of all the problems we can have in life, I think alcoholism is one of the most represented as far as help available. Help is literally everywhere.
She'll either find it and use it, or she won't - and there's not a dang thing you can do about it either way.
But, there IS help out there for her so she DOES have some place to go.
You aren't your sisters keeper, maybe it's time she stood on her own two feet?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The beautiful Midwest
Posts: 202
Nacole I can understand you being so concerned about your sister. Please read as much as you can on this forum, including the stickies at the top, and educate yourself in any way possible way about alcoholism. You should even consider going to an Alanon meeting in your area. Your sister will not change her ways until SHE is ready. Like you, I tried to search out help for my XABF.....and about drove myself crazy worrying about it all. It did nothing but hurt me! I was so obsessed with "fixing him" that I lost all touch with my own self. It does not mean that you don't care if you let them hit their own bottom and reach out for help themselves. Making suggestion is always a good thing......possibly a note for her with the Salvation Army's phone number on it...or whatever....but remember, you have to take care of yourself and not get overly involved or you will become a mess too. Trust me, I know and many others know too. Until SHE is ready to take charge of her life, nothing that anyone else does is going to make her quit drinking.
Take care and you are in my prayers.
Take care and you are in my prayers.
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