member31986

This week I have posted about my AH trying to "cut down" or stop drinking on his own. So far, not surprising, it has not worked. What I do know is that he still is secretly drinking as he has told me, vodka, don't know how much. I happened to mention that I thought beer or wine might be easier on the withdrawal so he ran out and bought a gallon of red wine! So far it has not been opened so I figured he has his vodka stash somewhere to keep him going.

He got up today went out for an errand, don't know where as I was already out and came home to find the car gone, When he got hime, he told me he went for gas then mowed the lawn. He did not eat, usually does not all day until dinner, high sugar -diagnosed few months ago, does not take metforman (his meds he was prescribed) because he is still drinking.
After he mowed, he came in and passed out on the couch as I could hear the snores from the other room.

I left with my daughter for a while and he had dinner on as I had instructed him earlier to do. No biggy, just a pizza in the oven. He ate a piece, then went and laid back down on the couch where he is sleeping again.

Mind you, he slept until 10am today.

Should I be concerned? Part of me is and part of me is not...what to do?

Yes, I know spending way to much time devoted to this and I know he needs professional help, not his home based method he is insistant on. I guess I just have to wait and see what happens.....

Comments please....

laurie6781

The fact that he is still drinking. The fact he wants to do it 'his way.' The fact he is NOT taking his diabetes medicine ......................................... all leads to me believing that before too long you will be making a 911 call.

His blood sugar is all over the board. The sleeping or 'passing out' like that could be very low or very high bs (I have done both several years back while we were trying to get my bs in line) and can lead to diabetic coma.

As he will not go to the doctor and follow the doctors orders my best suggestion that I can think of is pray and turn him over to his Higher Power. You can worry about it or not and the outcome will be the same.

Better to focus on you and the kids (cannot remember if you have any or not).

As to beer or wine being better for him to taper. Sorry not so. They are all the same. A 12oz can of beer, a 5oz glass of wine or a 1 1/2 oz shot of vodka all do the same the bac (blood alcohol count) in the blood, and all do the same to the blood sugar, screw it up big time!

Have you tried Al-Anon or one on one therapy yet? It would be a big help for you!

J M H O

Love and hugs,

serenityqueen

I think it would be a very good idea to keep a close eye on him. Honestly, if it were my husband and he was trying to do this his way and was a diabetic, I would be at least driving him crazy about monitoring his blood sugar and eating. I realize that we can't take care of the alcoholic but diabetes and alcoholism is dangerous, especially if it was just discovered that he's diabetic. The people who I know who are diabetic say when they first were diagnosed their blood sugars were all over the place. I know my Mom's were. I was having to give her 4 injections a day and now, after it's stablized, she only takes one pill in the morning. And if he's not eating properly, this only makes the situation even worse.

As far as his alcoholism, like Laurie said, there's not much you can do until he decides he's ready to do something about it. I do agree that Alanon would be a great benefit to you.

God Bless
Judy

isurvived

Wow, reading your post brought back some memories. My XAH did the same thing... slept a lot. He never ate breakfast, had just coffee. Then, he'd tangle into some sweets about lunchtime, never wanted a sandwich. He'd have a soda, and then either sit down to watch sports on TV, or he'd be on the computer. IF he was watching a game, he'd fall asleep. Dead asleep. For hours. He had high colesterol, and the doc recommended he take a med to lower it, but warned him not to drink while on the meds. He never took the meds because of the drinking. If he did do any strenuous work, he'd often come in to lay down... sweating up a storm, and weak and shakey.

I often secretly hoped he'd have a heart attack, and "that would be that". Terrible to say, but it is the truth.

He was a closet drinker. Vodka.

member31986

well sorry to say ah just came down for his glass of wine....I guess he could not stand it any longer ...trying to cut down. well, i just went and blew up in his face about everything, how he sleeps alot, does not eat right, looks terrible etc. he knew everything I said was right and of course agreed with me-like always. Nothing changes...I finially said I had lived with this decease for at least 20 years of our marriage and it has worn me down to the point that I am damn tired of it and what it has done. I told him I don't even like myself for the emotion I have inside and need to get back to al anon and take care of myself. He always wants me also in bed everynight and I reminded him to to not even try to come near unless he gets help. That is my boundary and I am sticking to it. sorry just had to vent.

Startingover2

I may be really off base here but I can offer you something to think about and possibly look for.

When I met my exah he hardly ever drank. He took pills. He took vicodin, valium, soma, even Nyquil (an entire bottle, which has alot of alcohol). He slept all the time. When he wanted to cut down on the pills he turned to drinking to get the same feeling, but thought the rest of us would be pacified with the exchange of drugs. Not long after he was drinking a 12 pack a day. He doesn't take too many pills now because he continues to drink.

Your AH may be taking something to take the edge off. Sometimes they rationalize in their minds that if they taper off on one drug with another then its ok.

want2bfreenow

Not much to add, but I agree with everyone else. My AH is a diabetic too, on metaformin. He just got out of the hospital because he tried withdrawing on his own and was acting crazy so I called 911. When he went in his sugar was dangerously high, and from what he tells me (we are separated and I can't ever be sure if he is lying or not) it still hasn't stablized and he's been out for almost two weeks. He really should have medical supervision, but he knows that so now YOU have to take care of YOU! I realized there is nothing you can do, they are grown men and know what they should be doing, and it's up to them to do it or not. Good luck!

MeHandle

He is still drinking and not quitting. This is an appeasement and manipulation tactic, period.

member31986

Well said Mehandle, I have been guillable for all these years and I am finally standing up for myself. It is empowering I must say. He tried once again last night in bed to "snuggle" and I would not give in.

I can honestly say that I think it has taken me all these years to gain the wisdom I need to fight this, for myself and kids. I really don't even have any feelings anymore. Its funny but I used to really get upset but lately its hit and miss. Sure, I am concerned with his wellbeing but if he is not willing to help himself first, then I really know I can not force the issue. What the future holds, I do not know, I have turned it over to my God for him to show me the way and guide me. That really is all I have left and I know I will never be alone.

Thanks for the posts. Good day to all.

flutter

Yep, my every day was like that before I got sober. Horrible way to spend a day.

When I got to the point to where I was "maintaining" all day with vodka (hidden), I was very quickly in the ER at noon on a Sunday with an above typically fatal blood alcohol limit. I had been drinking so much for so long, I was perfectly functional at a .568

Thank god my husband called 911.. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing to myself (the level that it had reached.)

I guess it just comes down to this, are you willing (as you have been thus far) to live this way? And if not you.. how bout the kiddo? Doesn't seem a happy house to be in. It might take a bit more than God to force some change here hun...