Self Care
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Self Care
When will we become lovable? When will we feel safe? When will we get all the protection, nurturing, and love we so richly deserve? We will get it when we begin giving it to ourselves.
August 23, 2003 The Language of Letting Go
August 23, 2003 The Language of Letting Go
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 150
I learned this weekend that even if you can't do it today...PLAN FOR TOMORROW! 
Tomorrow will come and you can make those plans happen. Even when things pop up and block your path as you try to make yourself happy, NEVER stop planning to them because tomorrow or this afternoon or tonight, you can do it.
I got a bonus from work and it's enough for me to be able to buy some new clothes for work that I desperately need. It's also enough to finish school shopping for the kids and buy a new dress for a wedding next weekend!
Tomorrow will come and you can make those plans happen. Even when things pop up and block your path as you try to make yourself happy, NEVER stop planning to them because tomorrow or this afternoon or tonight, you can do it.
I got a bonus from work and it's enough for me to be able to buy some new clothes for work that I desperately need. It's also enough to finish school shopping for the kids and buy a new dress for a wedding next weekend!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: DENVER,CO.
Posts: 3
This is my first time on a board concerning sobriety and I am glad to be here!After a year or so of sobriety I found that I was treating myself the same as I had when using(bad). I have since learned to be good to myself.I've learned I'm worth it!I've dealt with the guilt and am learning to forgive myself as well as others.Sobriety is the greatest thing that has happened to me.Now it's about living life on life's terms.Again,I'm happy to be here and I welcome any and all replies or viewpoints.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 150
I came back to this thread because I began to realize today that I have a long way to go in this being good to myself thing.
I did just about everything I had set out to do today, except I really didn't get much pleasure out of it. What I did get out of it was the knowledge that at least I have taken care of what the kids need for school.
One good thing I did though was finally colored my hair..LOL Those grays keep sneaking in and I'm NOT having that!LOL
I am almost finished "Codependant No More" and it's starting to sink in little by little. I can see myself in a lot of it but not in all but as they say, "Take what you need and leave the rest", so that's what I am doing.
It's all just starting to become really obvious to me how my life has been so motivated by fear and guilt. I've missed out on a lot of things I've really wanted to do because I feared anger and rejection from my AH and then I feared the guilt that would follow for making him unhappy. I am starting to see now how controlling his behavior was and how I turned it onto myself as a result of being unable to keep him happy 24/7. I know now that keeping him happy 24/7 is impossible to say the least and really loving someone is finding joy in watching them do something that makes them happy.
I've given everything of myself over to him to the point where I didn't even care about myself anymore. I've done things that I really hated just to please him. I have stopped most of that and I am just now starting to feel the backlash.
I am about to start a post about backlash. Anyone have any wisdom on that? Please come to that post and help!
I did just about everything I had set out to do today, except I really didn't get much pleasure out of it. What I did get out of it was the knowledge that at least I have taken care of what the kids need for school.
One good thing I did though was finally colored my hair..LOL Those grays keep sneaking in and I'm NOT having that!LOL
I am almost finished "Codependant No More" and it's starting to sink in little by little. I can see myself in a lot of it but not in all but as they say, "Take what you need and leave the rest", so that's what I am doing.
It's all just starting to become really obvious to me how my life has been so motivated by fear and guilt. I've missed out on a lot of things I've really wanted to do because I feared anger and rejection from my AH and then I feared the guilt that would follow for making him unhappy. I am starting to see now how controlling his behavior was and how I turned it onto myself as a result of being unable to keep him happy 24/7. I know now that keeping him happy 24/7 is impossible to say the least and really loving someone is finding joy in watching them do something that makes them happy.
I've given everything of myself over to him to the point where I didn't even care about myself anymore. I've done things that I really hated just to please him. I have stopped most of that and I am just now starting to feel the backlash.
I am about to start a post about backlash. Anyone have any wisdom on that? Please come to that post and help!
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