ellima01

Its kinda what I feel like- desperate- AH left again- this time I think it is for good. He is lying and telling me he still lives me and the kids- but he has to find himself. Told me he is staying at a "farm retreat" halfway house in east TN- but can't tell me exactly where and no one can come there to see him- I don't believe him anymore- all I hear is me,me,me,me.
I love him but I am seeing an attorney next week for advise- So broken. Hardest thing is that even just a week ago - things were SO good between us- now he suddenly cant stay somewhere "he's not happy" He said " I can't stay sober there" truth be told he cant stay sober ANYWHERE he's tried
Lord help ME

Barbara52

Sorry you are still stuck in the madness. But seeing an attorney is a big step in getting out of it all. Putting your kids and yourself first is the best thing you can do.

Pelican

I'm sorry you are feeling so broken. I re-read some of your recent posts, and am wondering if he is employed again? How is he financing alcohol w/out a job, how is he financing road trips to a retreat/half-way house without finances?

Are you taking responsibility for his consequences?

Let go and Let your HP have the addict.

You need to focus on your needs and your childrens needs. My biggest motivation in going no contact with my XA was to remember my children. My mantra when I looked at them was "believe". I wanted them to believe in me, that I was making healthy choices for us, no matter how much it hurt. Turns out the choices brought relief and freedom.

GiveLove

You can continue to love him if you want, Ellima, but your meeting with an attorney will help you to keep moving in a positive direction for yourself and your kids, so I'm glad you're going. I am glad you are doing that. The lord will help you, but I'm glad YOU are helping you too

Startingover2

Agreed. Constult an attorney. Get your info about your future and what you may need to do. Through experience, I would never underestimate what an A may be thinking or doing especially if your AH is saying the things he is. He sounds very unsettled.

Do what you have to do for yourself and your kids.

ellima01

Thanks everyone- found out at least he is not lying about being at a halfway house- retreat, whatever- hoping it is a positive step for him- now to make some positive steps for me- wish I didn't miss him though- would be alot easier!

FunnyOne

Oh honey! Sometimes I think I miss my husband, but then I remember how angry I would feel when he would just sit in the chair and watch tv when I so wanted a husband to talk to. Then I decided, I was alone then too, but he was more work for me. Now I appreciate the free time. I can't let go of the illusion that it was a good marriage sometimes.....that's really hard for me. Hope you are doing ok.