I set off to rehab today, check in Sunday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I set off to rehab today, check in Sunday
So....stuff is in storage and i move out of the rented house today. I am taking my beloved cat Trixie to my friends today, anyone with a cat will just know how great i feel about that even though i trust my friend with my life. Stay in Hotel tonight and then drive down to Seville over weekend.
I don't know much about 12 step recovery programs but i am quite sure that it will not be suggested that i come out and remain on the path i have always been on and will mean some big changes on my life (and i'm not talking about simply just stopping drinking!).
It would be dishonest to say that i am not begrudgingly going even though i am quite certain it will be the best thing i have ever done for myself. I am so pissed off and angry at the world all the time that it doesn't allow me to experience any joy or happiness anymore.
It is safe to say that i am totally lost as to any purpose or point in my life, unable to make rational decisions anymore and am quite sick spiritually (for my secular pals i mean inside/heart etc).
Quite a contrast to the 5 months sober i got through counselling and meds where i was ecstatic about the whole idea from day 1, this time i know that i will have to do and accept things that i don't want to and do things i don't want to do, i just can't think of anymore excuses not to go!
I suppose it would be fair to say that i am scared of facing myself, being honest in my affairs. I have only ever been a liar and a cheat...who knows what i will be without all that?! I mean this extends to work too, i've always found it easy to make money quick but i can't see it is a way that would be condoned by God/HP?! I dunno! My friend, one looking after my cat, has been in AA for 3 years and is happy inside, it is plain to see.
Please, those of you that pray, say a prayer that Trixie will be ok whilst i am away and those that don't just keep her in your thoughts for a second over the next month.
You know i think this will work for me, i really do, which is not something i would normally say or feel! I'll give it 100%
Thanks for all your support:-)
Cliff
I don't know much about 12 step recovery programs but i am quite sure that it will not be suggested that i come out and remain on the path i have always been on and will mean some big changes on my life (and i'm not talking about simply just stopping drinking!).
It would be dishonest to say that i am not begrudgingly going even though i am quite certain it will be the best thing i have ever done for myself. I am so pissed off and angry at the world all the time that it doesn't allow me to experience any joy or happiness anymore.
It is safe to say that i am totally lost as to any purpose or point in my life, unable to make rational decisions anymore and am quite sick spiritually (for my secular pals i mean inside/heart etc).
Quite a contrast to the 5 months sober i got through counselling and meds where i was ecstatic about the whole idea from day 1, this time i know that i will have to do and accept things that i don't want to and do things i don't want to do, i just can't think of anymore excuses not to go!
I suppose it would be fair to say that i am scared of facing myself, being honest in my affairs. I have only ever been a liar and a cheat...who knows what i will be without all that?! I mean this extends to work too, i've always found it easy to make money quick but i can't see it is a way that would be condoned by God/HP?! I dunno! My friend, one looking after my cat, has been in AA for 3 years and is happy inside, it is plain to see.
Please, those of you that pray, say a prayer that Trixie will be ok whilst i am away and those that don't just keep her in your thoughts for a second over the next month.
You know i think this will work for me, i really do, which is not something i would normally say or feel! I'll give it 100%
Thanks for all your support:-)
Cliff
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Your going to do great yeahgr8 :ghug2 we will all be with you in spirit. I dont know if you are allowed to go online during treatment or not but if you can & would like some outside support you know we are here for you.
I look forward to your recovery story & learning from you. Best of luck & love in your new sober life.
NB
:day6
I look forward to your recovery story & learning from you. Best of luck & love in your new sober life.
NB
:day6
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Cliff..... scared right? It is normal, fear of the unknown!!! Here is an acronym that will help you along the way for many years to come. HOW!
Honest- Stay brutally honest with your self and politely honest with all others.
Open Minded- Keep an open mind on EVERY thing, avoid at all cost preconcieved ideas and inittial impressions, try to do what ever is suggested with an open mind before making a judgement.
Willing- Stay willing to follow suggestions, you will get some that make no sense at all at first, but if you are willing to do as suggested the results can prove life altering.
Cliff you say You can have that as well, do as he has done! There is a saying in AA "Want what we have? Do as we have done!"
Think about it, hundreds of thousands of happy sober alcoholics can not ALL be wrong, they must be doing something right!
Cliff you and your cat will be in my thoughts and prayers and I do look forward to hearing how things are going.
Honest- Stay brutally honest with your self and politely honest with all others.
Open Minded- Keep an open mind on EVERY thing, avoid at all cost preconcieved ideas and inittial impressions, try to do what ever is suggested with an open mind before making a judgement.
Willing- Stay willing to follow suggestions, you will get some that make no sense at all at first, but if you are willing to do as suggested the results can prove life altering.
Cliff you say
My friend, one looking after my cat, has been in AA for 3 years and is happy inside, it is plain to see.
Think about it, hundreds of thousands of happy sober alcoholics can not ALL be wrong, they must be doing something right!
Cliff you and your cat will be in my thoughts and prayers and I do look forward to hearing how things are going.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Cliff - I've always enjoyed your honest posts, & am excited to see you taking this big step. I hope you'll be able to shed your anger and frustration and begin to live your real life - one free of the chains you've been carrying. I'm glad your cat has a safe place to go with someone you can count on. We'll be waiting to hear how you are. Love, Joanie
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
I wish you all the best in your recovery. I'm glad Trixie is being cared for in your absence. I love my dogs and cats and couldn't leave them with 'just anyone'. You'll do fine!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Good luck Cliff and I will definitely say a prayer for your Trixie. Thank God you are leaving her with a friend and you don't have to drop her off at some kennel or something. You are taking good care of her and yourself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Hey yeahgr8---
I see that your name is Cliff, so, at the risk of being too forward.....goodonya Cliff...!!!!
When I read what you wrote....: "...I don't know much about 12 step recovery programs..." --- My first thought was that's a very GOOD thing. It's so much easier to start without any preconceived notions than to try to forget what you think you know, and start fresh..... (o:
Although I did not go to a rehab, I have a number of friends who did start their road of recovery in one, and they're living good, happy, joyous, and free, clean and serene lives today. Like your friend with three years, whose inside happiness can be seen on the outside, you can get there too.
Like Tazman53 said, remember the HOW of how it works.....: the honesty; the openmindedness; and the willingness. You'll do gr8...! Just keep it simple and take it one day at a time.....
NoelleR
(o:
P.S. Along with everyone else, my prayers and good thoughts (whichever you prefer) are with you, and I'm sure Trixie will have a wonderful time. When you come out of rehab, the two of you will have lots of things to talk about.....lol
I see that your name is Cliff, so, at the risk of being too forward.....goodonya Cliff...!!!!
When I read what you wrote....: "...I don't know much about 12 step recovery programs..." --- My first thought was that's a very GOOD thing. It's so much easier to start without any preconceived notions than to try to forget what you think you know, and start fresh..... (o:
Although I did not go to a rehab, I have a number of friends who did start their road of recovery in one, and they're living good, happy, joyous, and free, clean and serene lives today. Like your friend with three years, whose inside happiness can be seen on the outside, you can get there too.
Like Tazman53 said, remember the HOW of how it works.....: the honesty; the openmindedness; and the willingness. You'll do gr8...! Just keep it simple and take it one day at a time.....
NoelleR
(o:
P.S. Along with everyone else, my prayers and good thoughts (whichever you prefer) are with you, and I'm sure Trixie will have a wonderful time. When you come out of rehab, the two of you will have lots of things to talk about.....lol
I'm very happy for you, this decision will likely change your life for the better - embrace it fully. Lots of good thoughts going out for you and Trixie. If you can, please keep in touch.Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 88
Best of luck, CLiff. Alcoholics are great at 3 things: (i) lying, (ii) playing the victim, and (iii) self-medicating.
Like you, I suffer from all three. You are not alone. Best of luck and keep us posted. Rehab is not has bad as you think. I made some very good friends that I still keep in touch with. You will love it! It's kinda fun in a serious way. I Know that reads as oxymoronic, but I have rarely laughed as hard as I did in my last (4th) rehab. You will meet some great people! I hope you enjoy it.
/rhn
Like you, I suffer from all three. You are not alone. Best of luck and keep us posted. Rehab is not has bad as you think. I made some very good friends that I still keep in touch with. You will love it! It's kinda fun in a serious way. I Know that reads as oxymoronic, but I have rarely laughed as hard as I did in my last (4th) rehab. You will meet some great people! I hope you enjoy it.
/rhn
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: london
Posts: 35
brave decision
good luck cliff and well done for making such a brave decision. i hope you get the help you need, this is the beginning of a new life for you. be positive and willing and have an open mind, you are in my thoughts, god bless x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Cliff,
I will definitely be saying prayers for Trixie to be healthy and happy and awaiting your return.
I, too, had completely lost any purpose in life and I know how it feels. I KNEW I had to find a purpose and a reason to carry on with my life. That's really I knew at the time, but I was positive about that. And, I did, and you can too.
Please keep in touch if you can. I wish you well!
I will definitely be saying prayers for Trixie to be healthy and happy and awaiting your return.
I, too, had completely lost any purpose in life and I know how it feels. I KNEW I had to find a purpose and a reason to carry on with my life. That's really I knew at the time, but I was positive about that. And, I did, and you can too.
Please keep in touch if you can. I wish you well!
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