ajane

guys,

I am new here, like I've been reading other people posts, and got some really good advice from it, so i decided to post also, so i can get this aout of my head.

My boyfriend has been a crack addict for the past two years, in February 2009 he decided to go to rehab, and so he did. According to his counselor he's doing fine. Last week i went there, because now he's allowed to receive visits, and we were talking about his progress, what he's planning to do (i think he will leave rehab in a month or so), and all of that. Well he looked at em and said he's feeling guilty for all the things he did to me (stole money, dissapered for hours, wouldn't pick up the phone) and he thinks i deserve better, and i don't deserve him, you know all that bla bla bla.

I know that all that is true but my doubt is do you think he wants to dump me but does not know how to? or is that normal addict behavior?

Thank you in advance for your input.

sailorjohn

Sounds like normal addict behavior. And I noticed there was little attempt at amends, no apology, or no offer to repay you, unless you left that part out.

Sounds like he's hoping you won't dump him, imo.

Freedom1990

My emotions were all over the place the first year I was clean/sober. Half the time I didn't know what I was feeling.

You trying to figure out what is going on in his head will drive you crazy.

What have you been doing for your own recovery from the effects of his addiction while he's been in treatment?

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

Sorry I left that part out.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

ajane

No i didn't forget about mentioning it. That was my problem, like he didn't bother to say "I'm sorry"! was like i'm feeling good, don't need u type of thing.

ajane

Yeah I know it will drive me crazy. But right now I'm so lost and have no time to attend meeting, but i go at least once a week to my psychotherapist to talk about my probs.

ajane

He said the words but i don't know. Maybe it is just me, but i was waiting for at least a "I'm sorry baby" or something.... ok he said he feels guilty but for me is not the same.....

bluejay6

Sounds like everything is still all about him, ajane.

A relationship is about MUTUAL concern. MUTUAL support. MUTUAL sacrifice.

He's all wrapped up in him. And a good candidate for relapse as a result.