ventuhome

Hi Folks I have a question about a situation: have you ever heard of this happening to anyone else? This is the situation: My brother Dave is married to Mari and she's addicted to prescription opiates. Mostly Hydrocodone, but she'll take Vicodin or Darvocet or straight codeine if thats available. Mari got into legal trouble for writing her own scrips and for stealing an ATM card and running its account into the hole. CPS (child protective services) got involved because their house was so dirty. They have a 6 year old kid (boy) who is autistic. CPS charged Mari with endangering the boy, and Dave because "he failed to protect the boy from Mari". THis is a guy who was the primary care giver for the boy, couldnt work because when he did Mari would fly into raging fits. Mari was not physically abusive. Dave saw to it that the boy was clothed and fed. Mari was taken away last week to rehab. Have you ever heard of the authorities taking a kid away just because an addict was THERE in the house?

Freedom1990

Yes, I have heard of it. Do you think that was a healthy environment for the 6 year old?

Children need so much more than simply being fed and clothed.

My personal experience is it has to be pretty bad to have CPS remove the child.

ventuhome

I never thought it was good and called CPS many times before. They were always like "Is the boy in IMMINENT danger?" Which was no because he had my bro to watch him. But now she's gone for the next 4 - 6 months. She IS PRETTY BAD - can really yell and scream at anyone, and does so in front of kid. SHe even did this to the CPS and Police when they came to get kid (stupid, huh?)!!! My bro was ordered to attend Nar-Anon and some parent support groups. They also want him to show he can protect the kid from the mom. Mari is now at rehab for 2 weeks. She might go to jail after that. Since she's gone, I think my brother should get the kid back because he's a good parent. Just too good of a husband.

greeteachday

It sounds as if things are falling in place for the possibility that both your brother and his son will have a better life. The child is in a safe environment now and the court has ordered your brother to get help. He has a choice and if he does this and his actions prove he is a good parent who can protect his son from harm, then things should work out fine. Naranon and parent support groups can help him to stop enabling and to focus on himself and his son.

rose

I was warned that should I bring my ah back into our home again, that CPS would be contacted and I would be at stake of losing our boys.

Rose

bluejay6

"Raging fits" is emotional violence and I'll bet anything Dave was not the only recipient of those.

He did not protect the child and IMO what has happened is a necessary crisis to either wake him up or get that child into a stable home.

Nothing was changing. About time it did.

Freedom1990

Responsible parents don't allow children to live in such insanity. That was a tough pill for me to swallow when I took a long hard look at what I put my oldest daughter through the first 8 years of her life. I was damaged goods.

I think CPS has the right idea in him attending Naranon and parent support groups. I have taken two parenting classes through Social Services, the last being one geared towards parenting teens when my youngest ran away at 15 with a 24 year old man, and ended up in the system for 17 months. It was a wonderful class, and I learned much.

No one gives us a manual on parenting, and the day I am too old to learn, they will be shoveling dirt on me.

ventuhome

THanks everyone for your input on this situation. Maybe its God's grace that CPS stepped in to kick Mari out of the house. If they split up he will have a much better chance of getting custody now. Courts usually give the kid to the mother, hopefully her record will have some impact on this decision.