What's going on?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: La Crosse, WI
Posts: 1
What's going on?
I am fimiliar with the 12 steps of both alcoholics anyn. and NA. I am on naltrexone, so I can't get high taking narcotics, but here is the problem that i just can't figure out.
Because of the naltrexone, I can't get high, as it interferes with the opiate receptors. Yet, I still will, at times, inject myself with pain killers, with absolutely no "getting high" Why do i do this knowing i won't get high? I'm sure it's part of the insanity of the disease, but sure doesn't make sense to me. Anyone have any ideas? I go to AA meetings 6 days a week, since my last horrible relapse this past Febuary, spend a couple days in the hospital and was off the naltrexone at the time (by choice because i wanted to get high)
What gives?
Because of the naltrexone, I can't get high, as it interferes with the opiate receptors. Yet, I still will, at times, inject myself with pain killers, with absolutely no "getting high" Why do i do this knowing i won't get high? I'm sure it's part of the insanity of the disease, but sure doesn't make sense to me. Anyone have any ideas? I go to AA meetings 6 days a week, since my last horrible relapse this past Febuary, spend a couple days in the hospital and was off the naltrexone at the time (by choice because i wanted to get high)
What gives?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 164
With me injecting narcotics IV, I had a "thrill" or obsession or something with the flashback of blood in the syringe, knowing it was in there and pushing the drug in and getting that immediate high. Maybe it is something similar with you, I don't know. Hang in there.....dump the needles and the pain killers. And welcome to SR.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Orlando Florida
Posts: 220
I am on Naltrexone too. It is usually used to block the high from Alcohol (but does nothing for the drunkeness). Suboxone is typically used to block the high from Opiates. Relapsing on either is common (though I haven't tested it yet for alcohol in 30 days). There is a certain conditioning that takes place to break the destructive habits. Basically if it can't get you high, why bother? Your addicted brain won't take your word for it, it want's to see for itself.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: new York
Posts: 2
whats going on.
Hi,
I'm a recovering Alcholic. , been drinking for over 15 years gotten worse around 5 years ago before I given myself to the lord. I don't know whats your believe regarding any religious matter just here maybe to bring some insite to your confussion, because its also answering my own confussion. I recover then I relapse but this time around I finally want to quick i'm been off the bringe drinking for 5 years I was so bad that I was in the blackout stage when I met someone who because my friend then found out her perfessional was a substance abuse conselor. with her I been thru rehabs twice yet and all knowing the affects I still have this selfish side of me knowing that I ccould live without it and my life is in the right path...I have a addictive side of me that misses the drunkeness and out of selfish motives continue to pickup when i want to feel that high...maybe thats what you going throught and what I would suggest is to battle those negatives thoughts and continue on the right path to recovery because its not only going to build you up and make you a bette person but You might end up helping someone thats going thru what you went throught we all have destructive behaviors ...its up to us to push those negative thoughts aside and keep believing we going to overcome and become victorious in the end.
I'm a recovering Alcholic. , been drinking for over 15 years gotten worse around 5 years ago before I given myself to the lord. I don't know whats your believe regarding any religious matter just here maybe to bring some insite to your confussion, because its also answering my own confussion. I recover then I relapse but this time around I finally want to quick i'm been off the bringe drinking for 5 years I was so bad that I was in the blackout stage when I met someone who because my friend then found out her perfessional was a substance abuse conselor. with her I been thru rehabs twice yet and all knowing the affects I still have this selfish side of me knowing that I ccould live without it and my life is in the right path...I have a addictive side of me that misses the drunkeness and out of selfish motives continue to pickup when i want to feel that high...maybe thats what you going throught and what I would suggest is to battle those negatives thoughts and continue on the right path to recovery because its not only going to build you up and make you a bette person but You might end up helping someone thats going thru what you went throught we all have destructive behaviors ...its up to us to push those negative thoughts aside and keep believing we going to overcome and become victorious in the end.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Tad you say you are familiar with the 12 steps, have you ever thought of getting a sponsor and actually taking the steps?
For most the real solution is to be found in the steps, not just reading them and saying "Okay". Do you have a sponsor to take you through the steps?
AA meetings are the fellowship and not the program of AA, yes the meetings are a part of the 12th step, they are a place to gain the experience, strength, and hope of others, meetings are in reality a small part of the program of AA.
Meetings help one to saty sober during a meeting, the steps taken to heart are lived inside and outside of the rooms, the steps, as said in the 12th step are applied to all areas of our lifes are the solution, not just to our drinking/using problems, but to all of our problems if applied to all problems.
That is not to say that the steps are the answer to medical problems or mental problems outside of addicition, but applying the steps will lead one to get help in those areas as needed.
For most the real solution is to be found in the steps, not just reading them and saying "Okay". Do you have a sponsor to take you through the steps?
AA meetings are the fellowship and not the program of AA, yes the meetings are a part of the 12th step, they are a place to gain the experience, strength, and hope of others, meetings are in reality a small part of the program of AA.
Meetings help one to saty sober during a meeting, the steps taken to heart are lived inside and outside of the rooms, the steps, as said in the 12th step are applied to all areas of our lifes are the solution, not just to our drinking/using problems, but to all of our problems if applied to all problems.
That is not to say that the steps are the answer to medical problems or mental problems outside of addicition, but applying the steps will lead one to get help in those areas as needed.
Mr.MeToo?
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: East Coast to the Deep South
Posts: 828
sounds like you got an addiction to not only drugs but the needle as well. I had an ex dopehead friend who was very much addicted to the needle. maybe even more so than the actual drug
Minds of IV addicts tend to asscociate certain places , equipment, events, with getting high. For me it was whenever I was alone driving my car (i would get all giddy and excited because this was always when I would be about to see my dealer) For you it seems to be the ritual of injection. My friend eventually broke the asscociation by continuing to shoot water into her vein. Each time she did this and realized the end result was not any high at all her brain began to want the needle less and less.
Eventually she just stopped all together because the association in her brain was no longer there. best of luck to ya and stay safe ~~
Minds of IV addicts tend to asscociate certain places , equipment, events, with getting high. For me it was whenever I was alone driving my car (i would get all giddy and excited because this was always when I would be about to see my dealer) For you it seems to be the ritual of injection. My friend eventually broke the asscociation by continuing to shoot water into her vein. Each time she did this and realized the end result was not any high at all her brain began to want the needle less and less.
Eventually she just stopped all together because the association in her brain was no longer there. best of luck to ya and stay safe ~~
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 88
Hi, tadnjj --
I also take Naltrexone and it definitely helps reduce my obsession for alcohol.
I'm no expert, but it sounds like your behavior might be more "mechanical" than "obsessive." I've had similar experiences.
Even though few, if any, rehab clinics teach this, I've longed believed that addiction is as much "mechanical" as it is mental and physical. By mechanical, I mean behaviorally habitual.
You may be so accustomed to shooting pain killers that you must break that habit because it will lead to relapse. Naltrexone will not let you get high. But, you have to WANT to take the Naltrexone instead of getting high. That is the challenge with Naltrexone.
When I first attempted sobriety, I would drink virgin martinis (yuck) because I was mechanically wired to have that glass in my left hand and hear the ice clink against the glass. It was my "comfort zone." My behavior lead to relapse, so I had to break that virgin-drinking habit. Then my recovery began to fall into place.
Just something to think about.
Best of luck!
/rhn
I also take Naltrexone and it definitely helps reduce my obsession for alcohol.
I'm no expert, but it sounds like your behavior might be more "mechanical" than "obsessive." I've had similar experiences.
Even though few, if any, rehab clinics teach this, I've longed believed that addiction is as much "mechanical" as it is mental and physical. By mechanical, I mean behaviorally habitual.
You may be so accustomed to shooting pain killers that you must break that habit because it will lead to relapse. Naltrexone will not let you get high. But, you have to WANT to take the Naltrexone instead of getting high. That is the challenge with Naltrexone.
When I first attempted sobriety, I would drink virgin martinis (yuck) because I was mechanically wired to have that glass in my left hand and hear the ice clink against the glass. It was my "comfort zone." My behavior lead to relapse, so I had to break that virgin-drinking habit. Then my recovery began to fall into place.
Just something to think about.
Best of luck!
/rhn
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Once again my friend Tazman has nailed it. There's a huge difference between being aware of the steps and actually doing them. What you're doing now is classic alcoholic thinking. You keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result each time.
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