firestorm090

Come on, isn't that really what it's all about?

I remember the movie, "Urban Cowboy", with John Travolta, and can relate to the underlying theme so well. I think I've always been "looking for love", but I just didn't know what it looked like. I still don't. I've looked for love in the barrooms across America, I've looked for love in prominent positions with banks, owning a small, but successful company, I've looked for love with total strangers. I've looked for love on the beach on the Fourth of July in Florida, fireworks everywhere, but the flame in my heart was dim. I've looked for love with "what's her name?', only to discover she didn't know my name either. I've looked for love anywhere and everywhere that I thought it could be hiding. You see, everyone talks about love, how great it is, but very few can explain what love really is. So we go hunting, thinking the next turn will lead us to it, the next drink may be the one that helps us find it, the next relationship may quench the undying thirst we feel in the depths of our souls. Unfortunately, we still are thirsty.

Where do we find this love thing, where is it? I don't have an answer, but I may know where it isn't. It's not in lying, deceiving ourselves and others, it's not in selfish pursuits at the expense of others, it's not within us till it is reflected back to us from the love of others. I'm sure I don't have this all figured out, but that's okay today, because I know that love dos exist, just look at the eyes of a little kid when he/she is looking at their parent for approval and validation. The child wants nothing more than approval, just that little "hey Johnny, you did great", or "hey Susie, you look fabulous" and their eyes light up a room. While we are on our quest to find true love, we may discover that it is not in the bottle, not in the drugs we take to ease our pain, but instead lies within the heart, the real inner being that we all are, and that is where we begin to find our true selves, not the drunken escapades of our attempts to find that which has always been buried within us. It may be just a matter of looking inside to find the love we have sought for so long, and maybe, just maybe it will grow if we spread it around a little, kinda like money to needy people, the blessings are untold.

It would sure be great to find the love is already there.

Anna

Firestorm, the love IS within you.

You won't find it by looking for it from someone else. It's already there.

Something I have learned in recovery is to 'let go'. If you let go of the desire to find love, and instead live your life to the fullest, love will find you.

joedris

Storm, I'm starting to get a headache reading your posts. You do, however, make some sense in your own bizarre way. To try and answer your question, you will find love in others when you learn to love yourself. It's that simple.

Sweets79

That is what I have to get through my thick skull...I did have someone who loved and truly cared about me, but our personalities clashed...started to not get along and grow apart...I hope one day I do find someone GOOD that I click with...I've been tending to go for some real characters who aren't healthy for me...Hopefully in time and in recovery I will start to think differently, and everything will fall into place...I really like what you said, Anna

jamdls

I liked your post fire. I looked for love for so many years always through an alcohol haze; I married twice and divorced twice; I broke a lot of hearts because I once I got sober I'd realize I didn't like the other person much. I always blamed everything on what was lacking in the other person. One day i woke up and faced that truth, that there wasn't something wrong with all the dozens and dozens I've men I'd been with, what was wrong was me. I came to that realization before I got sober and I didn't like it and tried to remove myself from the life equation. In the past 2 years I've come to know myself and once sober I eventually started to like myself and slowly but surely I learning to love myself. 50 is rather a late age to begin to discover yourself but that's how old I was when I began to figure out who Judy is, I still don't think I am ready for a romantic relationship and may never be but I have learned to find love in life in so many ways, my little dog, the flowers in my yard, my neighbors, my daughter/grand kids/sisters/ friends, my home, music--love is everywhere if you just open your eyes, it may not be in the form of romantic love but it's out there don't miss it.

Judy

tsukiko

Ha ha! My name's Tsu by the way, were you Dave or Tom? -Jokes.

Sorry, had to quote it, sort of sums a lot up for me a few years back now.


I ain't finding love 'romantically' or looking for it just yet, but for me love's having some contact with my mum now, being able to talk with family I haven't seen (or haven't wanted to see me) for years and not waking up every morning hating who I am, what I am. And that's quite enough for me