Remorse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Remorse
First let me start by saying to I haven't posted in a while and I want all the people that have given me advice to know that I have been taking care of me and my chidren FIRST. I am learning to love me enough to put me and my feelings first.
For the last two to three weeks my husband has been coming home and saying(just words) how much he wants his family. I hear him but, I don't listen. In my mind we are room mate sharing bills because the intimacy is GONE! Just Monday night he was standing in the garage working out saying that he was tired and was done . Again only words to me they mean nothing. ACTIONS ACTIONS ACTIONS!!!!!!!
Remorse... Drug users have no REMORSE, all they can think about is their next fix. Maybe I should add everyone into the mix. But, my husband has no REMORSE. Last night once again he performed his disappearing act. I refuse to call and see if he iss at work. But I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't worried..... So, I texted someone that he works with and she said he was there. I care but, I don't want him to know.
Fast foward...........
Before everyone jumps down my back please give my some applauses. I packed his S*** and put it by the front door so that when he opens the door he will stumble over it. Enough is enough I am soooo tired of being his security blanket. I do remember if nothing changes nothing changes. I told him that the next time that he stayed out over night that his stuff would be packed and it is exactly that. I need no explanation or excuses. Hit the rode jack. CONSEQUENCES....... I finally get it. Duh the light switch is finally on. It only took 1year and 3 months. I'd rather life in a shack and be respected than live in a mansion and get s***ed on. Pray for me everyone because the real test and journey for me and my children has only just started. I can say I am financially independent but, just a little scared.
Thanks
For the last two to three weeks my husband has been coming home and saying(just words) how much he wants his family. I hear him but, I don't listen. In my mind we are room mate sharing bills because the intimacy is GONE! Just Monday night he was standing in the garage working out saying that he was tired and was done . Again only words to me they mean nothing. ACTIONS ACTIONS ACTIONS!!!!!!!
Remorse... Drug users have no REMORSE, all they can think about is their next fix. Maybe I should add everyone into the mix. But, my husband has no REMORSE. Last night once again he performed his disappearing act. I refuse to call and see if he iss at work. But I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't worried..... So, I texted someone that he works with and she said he was there. I care but, I don't want him to know.
Fast foward...........
Before everyone jumps down my back please give my some applauses. I packed his S*** and put it by the front door so that when he opens the door he will stumble over it. Enough is enough I am soooo tired of being his security blanket. I do remember if nothing changes nothing changes. I told him that the next time that he stayed out over night that his stuff would be packed and it is exactly that. I need no explanation or excuses. Hit the rode jack. CONSEQUENCES....... I finally get it. Duh the light switch is finally on. It only took 1year and 3 months. I'd rather life in a shack and be respected than live in a mansion and get s***ed on. Pray for me everyone because the real test and journey for me and my children has only just started. I can say I am financially independent but, just a little scared.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I will absolutely keep you in my prayers! It is scary taking that big step for yourself and your children. I was scared too! I don't believe God brought you this far to drop you, so hang in there and please keep posting! I care! :ghug :ghug
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Can I be the little the devil on your shoulders for a minute?
Whispering in your ear ~~ Do yourself a bigger favor and Put his stuff "outside" the door.
He'll get the message loud n clear.
You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers
Hugs,
Passion
(takes off devil disguise and adjust halo)
Whispering in your ear ~~ Do yourself a bigger favor and Put his stuff "outside" the door.
He'll get the message loud n clear.
You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers
Hugs,
Passion
(takes off devil disguise and adjust halo)
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Nyte beat me to it, lol I was going to say the same thing, put his 'stuff' outside the door.
As to 'remorse' I don't think any addict/alkie has much if any until and when they get into and start working on RECOVERY. Then, I can attest to, there is REMORSE PERSONIFIED!!!
You are doing good, you are following through on your boundaries ................... WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!
Good thoughts and prayers heading your way for you and the children.
Love and hugs,
As to 'remorse' I don't think any addict/alkie has much if any until and when they get into and start working on RECOVERY. Then, I can attest to, there is REMORSE PERSONIFIED!!!
You are doing good, you are following through on your boundaries ................... WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!
Good thoughts and prayers heading your way for you and the children.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
You go girl! Geeze, it seems everyone on the boards is getting the courage to say ENOUGH! I agree with the others, stick to your guns and be ready for some heavy manipulations coming your way. It is GREAT that you're financially secure, that is a HUGE thing for alot of us.
Hugs to you and hang tough!
Hugs to you and hang tough!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement.....
I was talking to my mom and told her I need to get my locks rekeyed but, when I get paid that my check this week is going to the mortgage and day care . He might be so mad that he takes his check which is OKAY!!!!!!!Mortagage and daycare combined is over 4k. So, my mom said that her and my dad are proud of my choices and that they would pay to have the locked changed...... Thank goodness
My father asked me for his cell number..... He wanted him to know that if anything happends to me or my kids because of his behaviors that he was gonna hold him personally responsible because enough is enough!!!!!!! I told my father no let me handle this because I dont want him to take my joy away of putting him OUT! I have put up with him for far to long.
Dinner at Olive Garden......$50
2 tickets to the movies $22
Round Trip Air to Las Vegas on SWA $99
The Look on my husbands face when he stumbles over his luggage.........PRICELESS
A little humor for a bad situation.....
Thanks All
I was talking to my mom and told her I need to get my locks rekeyed but, when I get paid that my check this week is going to the mortgage and day care . He might be so mad that he takes his check which is OKAY!!!!!!!Mortagage and daycare combined is over 4k. So, my mom said that her and my dad are proud of my choices and that they would pay to have the locked changed...... Thank goodness
My father asked me for his cell number..... He wanted him to know that if anything happends to me or my kids because of his behaviors that he was gonna hold him personally responsible because enough is enough!!!!!!! I told my father no let me handle this because I dont want him to take my joy away of putting him OUT! I have put up with him for far to long.
Dinner at Olive Garden......$50
2 tickets to the movies $22
Round Trip Air to Las Vegas on SWA $99
The Look on my husbands face when he stumbles over his luggage.........PRICELESS
A little humor for a bad situation.....
Thanks All
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Hey Unhappy,
Good for you looking past his words and focusing on his actions.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your kids.
I have a feeling that one day you're gonna have to change your name from "unhappy" to "freebird" or something more fitting.
Sending lots of support and encouragement your way...
Good for you looking past his words and focusing on his actions.
Good for you for standing up for yourself and your kids.
I have a feeling that one day you're gonna have to change your name from "unhappy" to "freebird" or something more fitting.
Sending lots of support and encouragement your way...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
I love it when someone finally says NO to an addict who is getting away with so much sh**.
NO.
They hate that word.
Your post lifted my spirits. I know some challenges are ahead for you, but as long as you are living honestly, inside and out, life really feels so much better.
All the very best!
NO.
They hate that word.
Your post lifted my spirits. I know some challenges are ahead for you, but as long as you are living honestly, inside and out, life really feels so much better.
All the very best!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Thanks everyone wish me luck I get off in 30 minutes and then the storm. Sometimes I think I was moreso scared because I was his only connection to the past. Everyone else has basically disowned him. I just wonder if he is gonna snap..... I guess that is why they made 911.
For everyone that knows my story I call the sheriff's everytime my husband drug Wh*** violates her restraining order and they do NOTHING........ Not that this matters anymore but, I say that to say he has never been violent but, if he does the sheriff's probably wont come. Just pray for me as I pray for all of you!
For everyone that knows my story I call the sheriff's everytime my husband drug Wh*** violates her restraining order and they do NOTHING........ Not that this matters anymore but, I say that to say he has never been violent but, if he does the sheriff's probably wont come. Just pray for me as I pray for all of you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
You are so right. That is a immediate RED FLAG!!!!!!!! Poor Guy only thinks of himself. Believe me I should have followed suite with everyone else and disowned his a** tooooooo!!! LOL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Well everyone what do you think his response was???????
I'll pick my clothes later!!! MY RESPONSE: TAKE THEM NOW!!!!
Oh sweety I'm going to go to get help!!!(BS)
Oh were going to do this right and call the crack wh*** and say don't call you!!!(BS if you were going to do this you would've already done it!!!
We need to sit down and discuss things further!! (Y when I wanted and needed to talk you were never there)
Im not on drugs I just need mental help! (No your going need a MD if you don't get your stuff)
Why are you dividing our family? (Nope you've already done it when you choose drugs and a wh*** over me and your children)
Well this is how some of the dialogue went LOL..... Can you imagine all of a sudden he's saved and turned his life over (not to GOD) but to his family. Actions speak louder than words. To me this is all lip service. He did what he wanted to do for the last 48 hours and now he's remorseful. The same old pattern. I guess he thinks that I'm a fool. But, I took some fool be gone medicine on Tuesday night and now he has to find a new fool!
Thanks for listening!!!!!!
I'll pick my clothes later!!! MY RESPONSE: TAKE THEM NOW!!!!
Oh sweety I'm going to go to get help!!!(BS)
Oh were going to do this right and call the crack wh*** and say don't call you!!!(BS if you were going to do this you would've already done it!!!
We need to sit down and discuss things further!! (Y when I wanted and needed to talk you were never there)
Im not on drugs I just need mental help! (No your going need a MD if you don't get your stuff)
Why are you dividing our family? (Nope you've already done it when you choose drugs and a wh*** over me and your children)
Well this is how some of the dialogue went LOL..... Can you imagine all of a sudden he's saved and turned his life over (not to GOD) but to his family. Actions speak louder than words. To me this is all lip service. He did what he wanted to do for the last 48 hours and now he's remorseful. The same old pattern. I guess he thinks that I'm a fool. But, I took some fool be gone medicine on Tuesday night and now he has to find a new fool!
Thanks for listening!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
He did what he wanted to do for the last 48 hours and now he's remorseful. The same old pattern
It IS a pattern. The hard part is recognizing it and learning to stop YOUR part in it. You're doing great...It's NOT easy...but in a way....it gets easier when you've been around the track enough times.
Hang tough...
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