The blessings of a Sponsor

Old 05-06-2009, 06:20 AM
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The blessings of a Sponsor

Had a moment of weakness yesterday and of course I ran to my sponsor with my tail placed firmly between my legs

My sponsor thinks a lot of times that she causes me pain and hurt at times by her responses, and sometimes they do sting. NOT because of WHAT she says or HOW she says it but because she is right, always dead on the money, and accepting the reality of my actions or situation at times, can be painful.

I realized yesterday how HP gives me gifts in the strangest ways and sometimes I find myself in such awe of this whole program. It's funny anymore how easily He can redirect my thought process if I just trust in His will for me and give up mine.

While I normally would have been preoccupied with the whole drama that I put myself in yesterday, what I found was that I contacted my sponsor and sooo much of the weight of MY actions went away almost instantly, just by getting it out, and knowing I wouldn't be judged for my actions.

But I realized even moreso this morning while thinking about it all, that she is such a blessing in my life. I need and cherish her ESH, and her directness and honesty. There is such a serenity in knowing I can go to her with anything, and KNOW that she will never tell me what she thinks I want to hear. I can go to her and KNOW in my heart that she will only ever tell me the truth, and there is a peace in that that I find sooooo refreshing. She gives me so much hope at times, and it's funny how I know at times, she thinks she is being "the bad gal" yet I doubt she knows that I wouldn't change a thing about her or our sponsorship (unless I could move her closer) for the world. She is AMAZING!

So today instead of dwelling on the mistakes of yesterday, HP woke me up and let me know that in the face of all the craziness I bring on myself at times, that He has sent me a Guiding Light to use when I get lost, and has replaced many of my insecurities with something that I KNOW I can count on always. He sent me a friend...a true friend. And even though it isn't always easy for her to hold me up, and shine her light to lead me in the right direction, she does, and for that I am truly grateful.
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Old 05-06-2009, 07:12 AM
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A good sponsor is a gem! My sponsor is much like yours, and for that I am so incredibly grateful.

God doesn't always give me what I want, but he surely gives me exactly what I need.

:ghug :ghug
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Old 05-06-2009, 08:04 AM
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A good sponsor is an angel.... God in skin. I learned so much from my sponsor. I miss her every day. She died of a heart attack 3 yrs ago. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't still check in with her. Even though we can't have a face to face conversation anymore, I have those moments when I reach out to her and I still get the answers I need.

For me, a sponsor is a lifeline. A sponsor is the person who holds me accountable, picks me up and brushes me off when I stumble, leads by example, and loves me unconditionally.
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Old 05-06-2009, 08:06 AM
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I found this in my archives. I guess your post struck a nerve with me today! :

SPONSORSHIP

From How Al Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics pp 36-38

Sponsorship is one of the chief resources we use to help us to cope with and recover from the effects of alcoholism. A sponsor is someone with whom we can share about ourselves and our circumstances in detail. Most of us choose a sponsor who has been involved with Al Anon for some time, someone who is familiar enough with the program to help us learn to apply it to our own lives. Although most of Al Anon’s principles and techniques involve simple, easy-to-grasp ideas, slogans, or actions, knowing when and how to put them to work in our lives can be very confusing, and a sponsor can be a great help.

Between Al Anon meetings, we can call our sponsor when we face a difficult situation, achieve a goal, feel confused, or just want to talk. It’s wonderful to have someone to turn to who already knows our story, someone who has made a commitment to be there to listen and to share with us, someone who can offer a different perspective on our situations, someone who respects our privacy and will keep what we say absolutely confidential. A sponsor is a friend, a confidant who has experienced alcoholism’s devastating effects and yet has learned through Al Anon to find serenity and hope. He or she listens, shares experience, strength and hope, and offers support and encouragement.

But a sponsor does not have all the answers. He or she is just another human being who is recovering from the effects of alcoholism. None of us is finished with our personal growth, no matter how long we have been in Al Anon. As sponsors, we must be especially careful to avoid giving specific advice about what to do or not do in a particular situation. The idea is to help our fellow members find their own answers in their own time.

When looking for a sponsor, it sometimes helps to attend several different Al Anon meetings in order to come into contact with a variety of members, although it is not always possible to do so. Most of us look for someone who is actively trying to apply the Al Anon program to his or her life. This means that we look for sponsors who try to take the various principles and practices the program offers and apply them to their own lives. For example, many of us seek a sponsor who works the Twelve Steps, observes the Twelve Traditions, is active in service work, reads al Anon literature, uses the slogans, and seems to share from the heart. It is also suggested, in most instances, that we choose a sponsor of the same sex to avoid complications and emotional involvements that might make the relationship less beneficial. But there are no rules in Al Anon. The most important thing is to be willing to reach out and ask for the help we need, human to human. If we hear someone with whom we identify, we can speak with them after the meeting or ask for their phone number. If we feel comfortable with them and feel we could develop a rapport, perhaps we will ask them to sponsor us.

At first, many of us feel reluctant to ask anyone to make such a big commitment to us. Alcoholism has often taken a heavy toll on our self-esteem, and we feel unworthy to ask for so much attention. We don’t want to impose or be a burden to anyone. It can take awhile to discover that such a request is not a burden but a privilege and an honor. Sponsorship is a mutually beneficial relationship. It allows sponsors to focus on the Al Anon principles in a new way, and provides them an opportunity to practice the Twelfth Step. No one works the program harder than a willing newcomer, and many longtime members are inspired by those we sponsor to renew our commitment to our own recovery by the efforts and the progress of others. We often see a reflection of ourselves in those we sponsor. WE may recognize areas in which we need to work harder and places where we are overly hard on ourselves. We see how far we’ve come and how much farther we need to go. And we hear in what is shared with us and in our responses exactly what we ourselves most need to hear. Sponsorship is a tool our Higher Power can use to help both of us to grow.

Most of us are flattered to be asked to sponsor another member, but sometimes, for any variety of reasons, the person being asked may be unable to say “yes”. If our first choice is unavailable, then we are encouraged to ask someone else. For many of us, there is no greater resource for building trust and learning to communicate honestly and with dignity than sponsorship. The sooner we avail ourselves of this opportunity, the sooner we can start to grow in these areas. Nonetheless, each of us works this program at our own pace. There is no right or wrong time to find a sponsor. Some of us are ready right away, some of us wait quite a while before we feel moved to take this step, and some of us never choose it at all. It is never too late to get a sponsor, and we are free to change sponsors at any time.

Sponsors cannot make the Al Anon program work for others. Each of us, sponsor and sponsored alike, must apply the Al Anon Steps, principles, and practices ourselves. And even the most dedicated sponsor cannot be available all the time. It is important to remember that a sponsor is only one of many voices in Al Anon. If help is not available in the first place we look, it is our responsibility to reach out to other members. Our needs are important. It is up to us to make sure that they are met.

=======
God bless you, Judy B for holding the light for me.
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