Just feel down the past few days.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Just feel down the past few days.
I am not sure why. Well..I do have an idea. But I am not gonna go into the same old song and dance with yall anymore.
And I cant stop thinking about my ex and what happened.
My grams and me have been argueing.
My cosuin is being a real snotty B and I feel like cussin her out.
I am staying as calm as I can. I am not getting upset over none of it.
Instead I am just sad and down. No energy and tired.
I got a new kitten today that I promised my little cousin. I got it to replace Angel.
He was so happy. I got into it with his mother...My snotty cousin over him goin with me to get it.
She was goin to take them to their dads for the night cause he is watching them to orrow. I asked if it was ok if "B" went with me to get the kitty. She was leaving at 6. I was goin to get the kitty at 6. So I was like well why dont we stop and get it on the way so he can see it. Its right on the way to their dad's. I was like.."He is goin to freak out and get upset if I tell him he cant go now." She said..Well hes just gonna have to then. So I got a little mad and said "Its only gonna take 5 mins "D"!
She goes really bitchy like..FIINE!!
Then tirned around and told him he couldnt go and wasnt even goin to tell me. B ran up here and told me. So I called her and said..What are you doin? She got all pissy and said well..I say one thing and then I change my mind and it make s me lok like..And I didnt let her finish.
So I made it clear she was being a B and she decided to take me to get it. And come to find out they arent goin to their dads anyway cause hes been drinking all day.
Like this poor kid needs this ****. And my cousin acts like her life is so bad because she is in love with a married man and he wont leave his wife for her. Give me a friggin break. I am so sick of hearing about that. it makes her look stupid and she knows better. Thats all she talks about and all she is concerned wioth. She is snotty to her kids and acts like everyone is bothering her or owes her somehyting. It is really pissing me off.
Anyway.
Hers a pic of the kitty. I made my little cousin very happy today. And that is the only thing that matters to me right now.
All my sadness will pass. But his is ongoing and he is too young to be dealing with even half the crap he does. My cousin is very self centered and I am this close to checkin her attitude for her.
And I cant stop thinking about my ex and what happened.
My grams and me have been argueing.
My cosuin is being a real snotty B and I feel like cussin her out.
I am staying as calm as I can. I am not getting upset over none of it.
Instead I am just sad and down. No energy and tired.
I got a new kitten today that I promised my little cousin. I got it to replace Angel.
He was so happy. I got into it with his mother...My snotty cousin over him goin with me to get it.
She was goin to take them to their dads for the night cause he is watching them to orrow. I asked if it was ok if "B" went with me to get the kitty. She was leaving at 6. I was goin to get the kitty at 6. So I was like well why dont we stop and get it on the way so he can see it. Its right on the way to their dad's. I was like.."He is goin to freak out and get upset if I tell him he cant go now." She said..Well hes just gonna have to then. So I got a little mad and said "Its only gonna take 5 mins "D"!
She goes really bitchy like..FIINE!!
Then tirned around and told him he couldnt go and wasnt even goin to tell me. B ran up here and told me. So I called her and said..What are you doin? She got all pissy and said well..I say one thing and then I change my mind and it make s me lok like..And I didnt let her finish.
So I made it clear she was being a B and she decided to take me to get it. And come to find out they arent goin to their dads anyway cause hes been drinking all day.
Like this poor kid needs this ****. And my cousin acts like her life is so bad because she is in love with a married man and he wont leave his wife for her. Give me a friggin break. I am so sick of hearing about that. it makes her look stupid and she knows better. Thats all she talks about and all she is concerned wioth. She is snotty to her kids and acts like everyone is bothering her or owes her somehyting. It is really pissing me off.
Anyway.
Hers a pic of the kitty. I made my little cousin very happy today. And that is the only thing that matters to me right now.
All my sadness will pass. But his is ongoing and he is too young to be dealing with even half the crap he does. My cousin is very self centered and I am this close to checkin her attitude for her.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Trish)) the kitten is adorable! I'm glad your little cousin has you to look out for him, since it doesn't sound like anyone else is.
The rest of the stuff? It's life and sometimes it's not all that easy. I'm not trying to downplay it, 'cause I know how hard it can be sometimes. I vent, whine, sometimes pitch a fit and stomp my feet in my room
; eat chocolate, pray a lot, get some sleep, etc. Then I take a deep breath and start over the next day.
Big hugs and prayers!!
Amy
The rest of the stuff? It's life and sometimes it's not all that easy. I'm not trying to downplay it, 'cause I know how hard it can be sometimes. I vent, whine, sometimes pitch a fit and stomp my feet in my room
; eat chocolate, pray a lot, get some sleep, etc. Then I take a deep breath and start over the next day. Big hugs and prayers!!
Amy
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Trish, whether you realize it or not, you are showing a lot of growth by being able to identify what's going on and why you're feeling the way you are. A few months ago you'd post on here and say, "I don't know why I'm feeling this way, what's wrong with me? . . . "
As far as your *itchy cousin, be thankful it's not you involved with a married man! I know you want to check her on this, but just like we wouldn't listen to people tell us what we were doing "wrong" she isn't going to listen to you, so why waste your breath? Honestly. Use that energy to give her son (?) your little cousin, the love and attention that he needs and deserves. It obvious how much you care about him. From what you've shared with us about his life, it sounds like you are one of the few good things he has going for him. Getting that kitten is a wonderful act of love.
And speaking of that kitten, it's gorgous! I love cats, I've had them since I was about 5 years old. If you want to hear your little cousin squeal with delight, take a piece of foil, roll it up in a ball about an inch in diameter and throw it down for the cat. Every cat I have ever had loves to play with foil balls. Show your little cousin how a kitten chases the beam of a flashlight. There's not much that can beat a child's laughter and watching a kitten play. Things like that remind me of what's really important in life and what isn't.
You're doing great,
Judy
As far as your *itchy cousin, be thankful it's not you involved with a married man! I know you want to check her on this, but just like we wouldn't listen to people tell us what we were doing "wrong" she isn't going to listen to you, so why waste your breath? Honestly. Use that energy to give her son (?) your little cousin, the love and attention that he needs and deserves. It obvious how much you care about him. From what you've shared with us about his life, it sounds like you are one of the few good things he has going for him. Getting that kitten is a wonderful act of love.
And speaking of that kitten, it's gorgous! I love cats, I've had them since I was about 5 years old. If you want to hear your little cousin squeal with delight, take a piece of foil, roll it up in a ball about an inch in diameter and throw it down for the cat. Every cat I have ever had loves to play with foil balls. Show your little cousin how a kitten chases the beam of a flashlight. There's not much that can beat a child's laughter and watching a kitten play. Things like that remind me of what's really important in life and what isn't.
You're doing great,
Judy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
i think it's cool that you have already purchased an IPOD for your kitten. that should bring years of enjoyment for him as long as he takes good care of it !! ha ha
keep up the good work chinyta....it can be so hard. I've had a lot of difficulties of late it seems to me as well. thanks for sharing yours and thereby helping me and others learn from your strength and courage to face the pain and live anew
keep up the good work chinyta....it can be so hard. I've had a lot of difficulties of late it seems to me as well. thanks for sharing yours and thereby helping me and others learn from your strength and courage to face the pain and live anew
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Trish you know as well as I do, that even clean and sober caca happens, life goes on, but you are doing well hon. You see what the problem is and are dealing with it rather then seeking oblivion to escape it for a short while just to have it still be there when reality returns.
Roll with the punch, let your cousings problem remain her problem and not yours because in reality it is her life and her issue, you jumping in her crap is simply going to make her dig her heels in even harder to prove you wrong and her right. Just let it go.
Roll with the punch, let your cousings problem remain her problem and not yours because in reality it is her life and her issue, you jumping in her crap is simply going to make her dig her heels in even harder to prove you wrong and her right. Just let it go.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dayton, OH.
Posts: 879
Sorry things have been down lately, Chi. I am glad you came here to let it out, tho. :ghug3
That kitty looks adorable and they are so much fun. Plus they are easier to maintain. Fun to pet and they can relieve a lot of stress.
That kitty looks adorable and they are so much fun. Plus they are easier to maintain. Fun to pet and they can relieve a lot of stress.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Bobble hates the kitten. The kitten wont come out from under my bed.
I have to chase it out with the broom to get it to come out and eat or use the box. I have set its very own box and foos and water up in my room. Bobble wont come near my room now.
Still sad. I cant shake that thought. I cant stop thinking about him dieing. I keep staring at the articles. Totally freaked out by it. I dont understand why. He has been out of my life for so long. But I never really moved past him. I did. But I didnt.
It brings up memories of losing our baby. Memories of when we were together. Good and the really bad ones.
I cant cry. I havent cried. I am just so confused by this.
Its stupid and silly and I know what everyone is goin to say.
Well..I am tired of being strong. I am tired of getting over everything all the time.
I just want to grieve right now. I want to be sad and think back on those days when I was so happy in love. Before drugs tore my life apart.
When I almost had the dream of starting a family. Almost ...until crack ripped all that away.
Thats why we stopped being together. Because we were no longer in a relationship of love. It was a relationship of addiction.
Addiction took my baby, took my man and took everything there on after.
We could have something great together. We were great together. We were unstoppable. Until that dam crack came in to our lives.
I dont care who thinks I should get over it and move on. I dont want to right now.
It may have been a long time since we were together. But alot changed when me and that man were a part of each others lives. Alot changed the rest of my life. Still to this day. I am still living with things that happened with him.
I mnever forgot him. I never stopped loving him. And now he is gone. Not just gone. But his life was cut short over some stupid punk ass ********!!!
I am not goin to post except for my dailys until I have gotten passed this some.
I hurt so much inside. I feel like a part of me is gone too.
I just cant believe it. I keep reading the articles thinking it has to be some sort of a prank. But it isnt.
I cant even imagine what it will be like when my gram dies. I cant handle death. It freaks me out and I just cant handle it.
I have to chase it out with the broom to get it to come out and eat or use the box. I have set its very own box and foos and water up in my room. Bobble wont come near my room now.
Still sad. I cant shake that thought. I cant stop thinking about him dieing. I keep staring at the articles. Totally freaked out by it. I dont understand why. He has been out of my life for so long. But I never really moved past him. I did. But I didnt.
It brings up memories of losing our baby. Memories of when we were together. Good and the really bad ones.
I cant cry. I havent cried. I am just so confused by this.
Its stupid and silly and I know what everyone is goin to say.
Well..I am tired of being strong. I am tired of getting over everything all the time.
I just want to grieve right now. I want to be sad and think back on those days when I was so happy in love. Before drugs tore my life apart.
When I almost had the dream of starting a family. Almost ...until crack ripped all that away.
Thats why we stopped being together. Because we were no longer in a relationship of love. It was a relationship of addiction.
Addiction took my baby, took my man and took everything there on after.
We could have something great together. We were great together. We were unstoppable. Until that dam crack came in to our lives.
I dont care who thinks I should get over it and move on. I dont want to right now.
It may have been a long time since we were together. But alot changed when me and that man were a part of each others lives. Alot changed the rest of my life. Still to this day. I am still living with things that happened with him.
I mnever forgot him. I never stopped loving him. And now he is gone. Not just gone. But his life was cut short over some stupid punk ass ********!!!
I am not goin to post except for my dailys until I have gotten passed this some.
I hurt so much inside. I feel like a part of me is gone too.
I just cant believe it. I keep reading the articles thinking it has to be some sort of a prank. But it isnt.
I cant even imagine what it will be like when my gram dies. I cant handle death. It freaks me out and I just cant handle it.
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