new here and just checking in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: kettering, northants uk
Posts: 28
new here and just checking in
Hi all,
i have a drink problem, i can't seem to stop at 'just one or two' i was 13 years off drink but took sleeping pills to help me sleep on occassion, this was when i had my babies. All grown up now and came off the pills but ended up drinking again. first just a couple a night to relax etc. Now it's reached six drinks each night. not alot i think you might say but this is in a very short time span. i must explain. i'm a mum of handicapped son, now adult still living at home, lots of stress, the booze helps me unwind, relax. Also, i'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse which i've read can often lead to drinking problems...to forget. i started drinking back in 2004 and today i know i'm drinking way too much each and every evening now. i don't drink in the day nor do i have any desire to, but i can't seem to switch off the desire drink to excess every evening. i recently had a break of four months. but am back on the booze. Because i don't drink all the time or during the day, many say i don't have a 'problem', but i know i do. But i'm stuck. my thought system at the minute is 'stuff it all and drink' , not wise i know. What should i do? i contacted the AA in my area a whle ago, but it was an answer machine and nobody got back to me. the times for 'talking' to AA people 7pm -10pm are often out of the equation for me as i'm still caring for my son and it's impossible to get to the phone these times. he has severe Autism and epilepsy and IBS, lots of problems. i cannot help it but enjoy the booze instilled quietness and good feelings i get every night which is often early hours of morning actually! recently i have carers come in to help, which means i can go back to sleep in the mornings when i feel crap. Well, that's my story,
mspamy
i have a drink problem, i can't seem to stop at 'just one or two' i was 13 years off drink but took sleeping pills to help me sleep on occassion, this was when i had my babies. All grown up now and came off the pills but ended up drinking again. first just a couple a night to relax etc. Now it's reached six drinks each night. not alot i think you might say but this is in a very short time span. i must explain. i'm a mum of handicapped son, now adult still living at home, lots of stress, the booze helps me unwind, relax. Also, i'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse which i've read can often lead to drinking problems...to forget. i started drinking back in 2004 and today i know i'm drinking way too much each and every evening now. i don't drink in the day nor do i have any desire to, but i can't seem to switch off the desire drink to excess every evening. i recently had a break of four months. but am back on the booze. Because i don't drink all the time or during the day, many say i don't have a 'problem', but i know i do. But i'm stuck. my thought system at the minute is 'stuff it all and drink' , not wise i know. What should i do? i contacted the AA in my area a whle ago, but it was an answer machine and nobody got back to me. the times for 'talking' to AA people 7pm -10pm are often out of the equation for me as i'm still caring for my son and it's impossible to get to the phone these times. he has severe Autism and epilepsy and IBS, lots of problems. i cannot help it but enjoy the booze instilled quietness and good feelings i get every night which is often early hours of morning actually! recently i have carers come in to help, which means i can go back to sleep in the mornings when i feel crap. Well, that's my story,
mspamy
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Caring for yourself is just as important as caring for your son.
Please keep trying that AA number...
it would be immensley helpful to have local support.
And....
...please keep posting with us
Welcome....
Please keep trying that AA number...
it would be immensley helpful to have local support.
And....
...please keep posting with usWelcome....
Oz...
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR mspamy. As Carol suggested keep calling that AA line. You may want to check out the AA meetings in your area and see if there are any meetings while the carers are there you could go to. In the mean time you can read the book Alcoholics Anonymous online at Big Book On Line SR also has online AA meetings and I beleive they also have non AA meetings you can participate in.
You need to keep your self number one, because if you don't those that depend on you will lose as well.
You need to keep your self number one, because if you don't those that depend on you will lose as well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: kettering, northants uk
Posts: 28
Thanks to all of you for your support. i have read and keep going back to the BB on line, but it's making that choice to 'stop'...for good. i was not drinking for about three months a while ago, i got ill and scared myself so that was 'easy' to stop then. But it's like trying to give up fags you stop a while and when you re-start you tend to smoke more than before. that seems to be the way with the drink. i don't think i'm a 'social drinker' as i tend to drink to oblivion, or near as, i think i pass out rather than sleep. That can't be good can it? it has to be a warning sign which i saw on the AA website that if you can't stop at one...it's a problem..and the road is the same...to dangerous alcoholism.
Sometimes i feel i'm on a downward spiral...i can't seem to see a bright future. i am on anti depressant again...but i've managed to keep cutting back the dose as it was quite high and i didn't see/feel any benefits. But if i'm honest, continuig to drink whilst on these meds is not good. But a canny drinker...the booze seems far more inviting. that has to be an alcoholic talking doesn't it? Will i let it get to the deep bad stage before i turn around? i don't know. whilst i want to stop, as i don't think i could ever be that social drinker, i'm finding it difficult to convince myself i need to do it. as i said before too many of my friends accquaintances don't see i have a problem. they often say they drink far more than i do and don't consider it a problem for them. Where and should we draw the line between a 'heavy drinker' and an alcoholic'? i've read some pretty scary stories on the BB that i consider further down the road than in my drinking experiences that i haven;'t yet reached...but there is that 'yet' to consider. Why is it that some people seem ok to drink but others become 'dependent' or are the others just 'steps' away, or refusing to see.?
i need to check out this site further of course to read of experiences, both in alcohilsm and in recovery. i feel quite certain that i'll be around for a while. incidently i remember writing an address for local meetings in the next town from, i must try to find it again. but i admit i would be nervous to attend as i feel or am told i don't fit the typical picture.
Have i posted this added comment to my thankyou's in the wrong place?
mspamy xx
Sometimes i feel i'm on a downward spiral...i can't seem to see a bright future. i am on anti depressant again...but i've managed to keep cutting back the dose as it was quite high and i didn't see/feel any benefits. But if i'm honest, continuig to drink whilst on these meds is not good. But a canny drinker...the booze seems far more inviting. that has to be an alcoholic talking doesn't it? Will i let it get to the deep bad stage before i turn around? i don't know. whilst i want to stop, as i don't think i could ever be that social drinker, i'm finding it difficult to convince myself i need to do it. as i said before too many of my friends accquaintances don't see i have a problem. they often say they drink far more than i do and don't consider it a problem for them. Where and should we draw the line between a 'heavy drinker' and an alcoholic'? i've read some pretty scary stories on the BB that i consider further down the road than in my drinking experiences that i haven;'t yet reached...but there is that 'yet' to consider. Why is it that some people seem ok to drink but others become 'dependent' or are the others just 'steps' away, or refusing to see.?
i need to check out this site further of course to read of experiences, both in alcohilsm and in recovery. i feel quite certain that i'll be around for a while. incidently i remember writing an address for local meetings in the next town from, i must try to find it again. but i admit i would be nervous to attend as i feel or am told i don't fit the typical picture.
Have i posted this added comment to my thankyou's in the wrong place?
mspamy xx
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
i would be nervous to attend as i feel or am told i don't fit the typical picture.
Old
Young
White
Black
Male
Female
Business owner
Business person
Retirees
Military
Lawyers
Retired minister
Systems Analyst (me)
School teachers
Professors
Judges
Police
firemen
housewife
disabled
christian
Jew
Muslim
Agnostic
aethiest
Hindu
Buddist
Rich
Poor
Middle class
constuction workers
homeless
Chef
waiter/waitress
politicians
Writers
Musicians
middle aged
The above is just a small sampling of alcoholics I know in AA.
Many people consider an alcoholic to be a homeless person living under a bridge or in the woods with nothing but dirty old drungy clothes drinking wine...... yes there are some of us like that, but the vast majority of us are nothing at all like that.
Here is a short list of some famous alcoholics:
Ulysses S. Grant. 18th president of the United States
Edgar Allen Poe. Interestingly enough, Poe's father was an alcoholic,
John Daly. PGA golfer and admitted alcoholic
Stephen King. Yet another famous writer
Joseph Stalin. The son of an alcoholic father
Senator Joe McCarthy. A U.S. Senator from Wisconsin
Bonnie Prince Charlie
Alcoholism is a truely across the board disease.
What is the typical picture of an alcoholic? There is none, except in the eyes of the unknowing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: kettering, northants uk
Posts: 28
Hi again,
Thanks for replying, i take the point of the 'no typical picture'. i started drinking in my early teens, i was 23 when i stopped drinking this lasted as said for many years. i stopped then because i was ill, i think i actually poisoned myself, i couldn't even stand the whiff of Bacardi. i started drinking again in 2002 age 41, Ditched the sleeping pills at that time too, i'd been on them for 13 years. The drinking now was virtually everynight, then quickly everynight, the increase in volume occurred too. from 3-4 it is now 6-9 . i had another brief reprieve for 3 months, again caused through becoming ill. i have recntly watched documentaries on alcohol and was amazed to learn that a moderate drinker to start with a woman drinking wine at meal times, rapidly became a bottle of wine. the point here is that within a relatively short time she has already damaged her Liver. It has to be the health reasons for me to give up as (i will add, so far, the drinking
has not affected my home life/work' But from what i've read on AA 'drinking with the 'can't stop at one' 'will' eventually lead to serious drinking problems.
i was once asked by a fellow drinker 'are you in for the long haul? i assumed she meant 'life'. i replied 'i don't think so'. That statement reflects my current feelings/attitude. I am also a smoker of many many years. Current thoughts predict i'm a hopeless case either way. Smoking is considered far more dangerous. which habit do i try to knock first?
During my abstinance from drink i did embark on a Spiritual journey and had many wonderful experiences. i really thought i knew all the answers i needed to know. Suddenly without warning the 'sexual abuse' reared it's ugly head. i reported my historical abuse which after 3 years fizzled out to nothing, no prosecutions, lack of evidence, etc. etc. Also my guru shall we say at this poignant time was also being investigated for child sex abuse. My world collapsed. My Faith dashed. i felt so alone with nothing to hold onto anymore. This was a catalyst for my return to drinking. i'm intrigued with the twelth step of AA which i think is the 'spritual experience' stage. i guess i feel doubt about this. But i have to add that a part of me wants to still believe that God or that Greater Power can help me. but i'm worried i might be fooled again. That's not fully true actually, as i have an tiny inkling that this Greater Power. God, is actually encouraging me to make this big step into AA. It's the coincidence thing, and i once read that 'coincidence' is God's way of remaining anonymous. i do tend to think that there is a plan for us all, and whatever happens, happens for a reason. Another of my favourite Spiritual guys is Deepak Chopra, he believes addictions are a sign that people are looking for that 'something' to fulfil their desires, the desire for God.
what do you think?
Thanks for replying, i take the point of the 'no typical picture'. i started drinking in my early teens, i was 23 when i stopped drinking this lasted as said for many years. i stopped then because i was ill, i think i actually poisoned myself, i couldn't even stand the whiff of Bacardi. i started drinking again in 2002 age 41, Ditched the sleeping pills at that time too, i'd been on them for 13 years. The drinking now was virtually everynight, then quickly everynight, the increase in volume occurred too. from 3-4 it is now 6-9 . i had another brief reprieve for 3 months, again caused through becoming ill. i have recntly watched documentaries on alcohol and was amazed to learn that a moderate drinker to start with a woman drinking wine at meal times, rapidly became a bottle of wine. the point here is that within a relatively short time she has already damaged her Liver. It has to be the health reasons for me to give up as (i will add, so far, the drinking
has not affected my home life/work' But from what i've read on AA 'drinking with the 'can't stop at one' 'will' eventually lead to serious drinking problems.
i was once asked by a fellow drinker 'are you in for the long haul? i assumed she meant 'life'. i replied 'i don't think so'. That statement reflects my current feelings/attitude. I am also a smoker of many many years. Current thoughts predict i'm a hopeless case either way. Smoking is considered far more dangerous. which habit do i try to knock first?
During my abstinance from drink i did embark on a Spiritual journey and had many wonderful experiences. i really thought i knew all the answers i needed to know. Suddenly without warning the 'sexual abuse' reared it's ugly head. i reported my historical abuse which after 3 years fizzled out to nothing, no prosecutions, lack of evidence, etc. etc. Also my guru shall we say at this poignant time was also being investigated for child sex abuse. My world collapsed. My Faith dashed. i felt so alone with nothing to hold onto anymore. This was a catalyst for my return to drinking. i'm intrigued with the twelth step of AA which i think is the 'spritual experience' stage. i guess i feel doubt about this. But i have to add that a part of me wants to still believe that God or that Greater Power can help me. but i'm worried i might be fooled again. That's not fully true actually, as i have an tiny inkling that this Greater Power. God, is actually encouraging me to make this big step into AA. It's the coincidence thing, and i once read that 'coincidence' is God's way of remaining anonymous. i do tend to think that there is a plan for us all, and whatever happens, happens for a reason. Another of my favourite Spiritual guys is Deepak Chopra, he believes addictions are a sign that people are looking for that 'something' to fulfil their desires, the desire for God.
what do you think?
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